Sorry I'm not explaining this well. Our sex life is bad. I've had 2 orgasms in 8 years. He is as quick now as he was the first time. He wasn't interested in changing things so i asked for a hall pass. He agreed. He gave me a few rules. I found someone i wanted to do it with, kissed him, Chris read my texts and saw we had kissed, and lost his shit. So he took the hall pass away and then gave it back and then took it away until i said no more. He is going to a peen doctor now to see if they can give him something to fix it. We have been fighting a lot in between. I think you all know that i like sex and so 8 years of bad sex is no fun. His solution to all of this is see a doctor and see if it gets better and if it doesn't i can get over it.
what about oral though? will he not do that? I mean, I never have orgasms from sex
Sorry I'm not explaining this well. Our sex life is bad. I've had 2 orgasms in 8 years. He is as quick now as he was the first time. He wasn't interested in changing things so i asked for a hall pass. He agreed. He gave me a few rules. I found someone i wanted to do it with, kissed him, Chris read my texts and saw we had kissed, and lost his shit. So he took the hall pass away and then gave it back and then took it away until i said no more. He is going to a peen doctor now to see if they can give him something to fix it. We have been fighting a lot in between. I think you all know that i like sex and so 8 years of bad sex is no fun. His solution to all of this is see a doctor and see if it gets better and if it doesn't i can get over it.
I'm sorry things are so strained with you guys. Being on two different pages in any area of a relationship is difficult, but I think especially when it comes to physical intimacy.
It sounds like when he said that, he was lashing out, maybe because he was hurt, but he still shouldn't have said it. I hope you're both able to work it all out and find a solution that works for everyone.
Post by creamsiclechica on Aug 25, 2014 15:39:47 GMT -5
@pcloadletter, I don't think you want me to give an opinion. I'll pull a married life and say "you do you." I'm not judging alternative lifestyles here, and I think you know that.
Post by TrudyCampbell on Aug 25, 2014 15:40:16 GMT -5
I've said this to you, but if my husband kissed someone I'd be devastated. Beyond devastated. I'd be more upset by him kissing someone that he has a crush on than I would if he had meaningless sex with a hooker or something. I know you had a "hall pass", but I think you're kind of glossing over the fact that you cheated on your husband. I'm saying this to you as a friend because I think you need an outside perspective here. This is a dangerous road you're going down if you plan to stay married. It seems like this is less about sex and more about other things.
Wait. You didn't even have him see a doctor first before you started messing around? At least give him a chance to fix the issue. There are medications for this
Post by creamsiclechica on Aug 25, 2014 15:42:42 GMT -5
But I will say, for the record, might have wanted to do some sexual research and shop around BEFORE three other people came into the picture. Now your actions have consequences in their lives that they have to deal with.
Also, I hope this "hall pass" business doesn't result in a fourth. Good luck.
Post by laurensmomma on Aug 25, 2014 15:42:57 GMT -5
Listen,it's obvious you're going through some shit right now. Your choices are questionable, but as long as you're not endangering the kids, who am I to judge? The weed situation was not cool, but the thread got deleted before I read what happened exactly, so not much I can say there.
I really hope you and Chris are able to figure this stuff out before any permanent damage is done.
Open relationships mean BOTH people agree whole heartedly on sexing other people.
I think they are also pretty open beforehand about when something is going to happen. Kissing a guy behind his back and not telling him is NOT an open marriage.
I'm not keen on the open marriage idea in general, but I think it's really different when you have a "hall pass" because of sexual dysfunction. It's hard to imagine a worse way to deal with a very real problem.
I'm honestly having a hard time believing that I'm writing a serious post that uses the term "hall pass." Is this real life??
Post by PatBenatar on Aug 25, 2014 15:56:12 GMT -5
I'm missing a lot of backstory too, but a hall pass seems like a lot of work. I only have the energy and time for one relationship. I'm not cut out for an open marriage.
Gisa I hope you find a solution that works for your family. This doesn't sound like the right one though.