I was just thinking since I admitted to my H earlier I was having depression type issues, not only did he say I shouldn't cook this week at all but he probably also won't try to have sex with me now! Hurray
If this has been going on for years (Chris's problem) then why did you wait until now? Is it just that you found someone you have a crush on and want to sleep with so you decided to ask him for a hall pass? I don't understand.
Gisa I hope you are okay. It seems like you had left drama behind for a while and now all this. I cannot fathom how you are not still so terrified after the cps episode to do ANYTHING outside the status quo. I mean I would be a nun right now to make sure there was nothing to call my character into question.
Aside from you both working fulltime and raising three children how is there time for this? I had no idea a hall pass was a real thing but isn't this more like an emotional affair? Does this guy know you have three children? I am worried for you.
Post by creamsiclechica on Aug 25, 2014 16:02:41 GMT -5
I apologize for my comment in poor taste and poor judgment. I am done commenting on this situation, as it seems I can't remove my personal distaste for the situation out of it, and that's not fair.
I think MY issue is that you've had problems in the past and you then continue to post questionable actions on a PUBLIC forum. I would just hope you are being careful in every way.
Sent from my right hand while my left wrangles a toddler.
Post by spaghetticat on Aug 25, 2014 16:06:59 GMT -5
What texts did he see? Was it like, "let's meet and do this at date/time/place?" Or are you having a relationship with this person? How did he even know it was cool to kiss you?
Post by TrudyCampbell on Aug 25, 2014 16:09:49 GMT -5
Me and my husband (and I think many here can relate) are tired and stressed. We have sex, we get the job done, and it's nice, but there hasn't really been much of making each other a priority sexually for quite some time. And that's okay! It's the life stage we are in right now. If he told me he wanted to have sex with someone else because I wasn't making him a priority I would be incredibly sad .
I was just thinking since I admitted to my H earlier I was having depression type issues, not only did he say I shouldn't cook this week at all but he probably also won't try to have sex with me now! Hurray
Don't count on it.
Hmm this is true. Maybe he will mistakingly think I can be soothed by his tender loving touch ??
What texts did he see? Was it like, "let's meet and do this at date/time/place?" Or are you having a relationship with this person? How did he even know it was cool to kiss you?
He saw a text about how the kiss was nice. The guy knew about the hall pass.
But what I don't get is the need for the kiss.
It leads me to believe there's more to this. An emotional relationship to some degree or something. I don't think this is as innocent as you are spinning it.
I had to stop liking post. I hate to be this blunt, but I feel like this isn't just a current issue with your judgement calls. I can't even come close to remembering all of the things posted over three years, but I feel like it isn't real life at all. If it is real life for you and your family, I'm really sorry. That's way too much drama.
I feel like everyone has things in their marriage that is different and maybe not "normal." Not always sexually, but in other areas as well. Whatever. That's their business. However, when someone gives a hall pass, takes it away and then gives it again should be a clue that they aren't confident in their decision.
Gisa I hope you are okay. It seems like you had iteft drama behind for a while and now all this. I cannot fathom how you are not still so terrified after the cps episode to do ANYTHING outside the status quo. I mean I would be a nun right now to make sure there was nothing to call my character into question.
Aside from you both working fulltime and raising three children how is there time for this? I had no idea a hall pass was a real thing but isn't this more like an emotional affair? Does this guy know you have three children? I am worried for you.
He does. I have worked there a year and was pregnant while there. I don't see why my sex life would have anything to do with CPS. rjamz It was a breaking point and a little about opportunity.
Obviously it doesn't. This is about judgment and putting your children first. I am concerned about your judgment.
Post by spaghetticat on Aug 25, 2014 16:15:26 GMT -5
I guess the weirdest part about this is how you were acting like he was an asshole at first. And then, oh by the way...I feel like you had to know what was coming after that.
I place little to no priority on sex right now. When we do have sex it's fine. I mean, I guess it shows my complete lack of "sex interest"? when I say I don't even really get the whole "meshing sexually" thing. I mean there's some fumbling around with hands and mouths then a few minutes of you-know-what then great see you next week or maybe the week after if this child keeps sleeping like shit
Im sure he'd like more sex, of course he would. But everyone has to realize the circumstances are probably as bad for sex and intimacy as they ever can be when you have a newb and a toddler in the house
It leads me to believe there's more to this. An emotional relationship to some degree or something. I don't think this is as innocent as you are spinning it.
Isn't kissing a prelude to having sex? This Is where C and i got hung up though. We didn't get on the same page about what the hall pass meant. I can kiss without getting attached.
Sure but if it was just a hookup I am confused about this behavior. I just think there's more to it. Someone was getting invested somewhere... You or the guy.
I feel like some people are projecting their own feelings about sex and their relationships onto Gisa. There are a lot of people here who've admitted that they're not on the same page as their husbands sexually, but they're okay with it. What if you weren't okay with it? What if you wanted things to change but your H wasn't interested?
Fast-forward 8 years. You're still not on the same page and your H is still unwilling to do anything about it. An idea comes to mind and you bring it up. He agrees to it. You discuss it, and consider doing it. Then your H realizes he doesn't like the idea after all.
Everyone's acting like Gisa's done this horrible thing to her husband, when her husband was okay with it, initially. It's not a choice I would ever make, but this is between them. Now, if she continued with the plan even after her H put on the brakes, I would consider that worth judging.
I feel like some people are projecting their own feelings about sex and their relationships onto Gisa. There are a lot of people here who've admitted that they're not on the same page as their husbands sexually, but they're okay with it. What if you weren't okay with it? What if you wanted things to change but your H wasn't interested?
Fast-forward 8 years. You're still not on the same page and your H is still unwilling to do anything about it. An idea comes to mind and you bring it up. He agrees to it. You discuss it, and consider doing it. Then your H realizes he doesn't like the idea after all.
Everyone's acting like Gisa's done this horrible thing to her husband, when her husband was okay with it, initially. It's not a choice I would ever make, but this is between them. Now, if she continued with the plan even after her H put on the brakes, I would consider that worth judging.
I think it's 100% judge worthy to tell YH you need a hall pass because you want to find out if there's such a thing as good sex, or if it will suck forever. That stands even if he says ok.
You're right that I'm projecting my own feelings onto this, I keep thinking about it within the terms of my own marriage, which isn't really fair I guess.
I feel like some people are projecting their own feelings about sex and their relationships onto Gisa. There are a lot of people here who've admitted that they're not on the same page as their husbands sexually, but they're okay with it. What if you weren't okay with it? What if you wanted things to change but your H wasn't interested?
Fast-forward 8 years. You're still not on the same page and your H is still unwilling to do anything about it. An idea comes to mind and you bring it up. He agrees to it. You discuss it, and consider doing it. Then your H realizes he doesn't like the idea after all.
Everyone's acting like Gisa's done this horrible thing to her husband, when her husband was okay with it, initially. It's not a choice I would ever make, but this is between them. Now, if she continued with the plan even after her H put on the brakes, I would consider that worth judging.
I'm thinking from reverse roles. If somebody on here came in and said their husband asked for a hall pass because their sexual needs were not being 100% met. People here would rip the husband to shreds. I think just asking for it is shitty. What do you say "Hey husband, you suck at sex, can I have an affair?"
Just the not being sad for their families thing. You take your hatred of football very seriously. With that and owning your h, you just had some amped up opinions today.
lol, you have to know she isn't serious. I mean yea, she hates football but she doesn't want people to die. Owning her H?
Lol that this is the part of the thread you are focusing on. I also said she was pumping iron and munching chips so I wasn't super serious about it either.