Post by cattledogkisses on Sept 2, 2014 9:45:47 GMT -5
H and I went hiking yesterday in one of the wilderness areas a couple hours north of here. Oh my goodness, it was peaceful and gorgeous and pristine. From the start of the trailhead we didn't see another soul but the two of us.
The spot we headed to has caves that are supposed to have ice in them year-round, and sure enough, there was snow and ice in them on Labor Day weekend. So cool.
Then we hiked down to one of the lakes and took a mid-hike swim in our skivvies to cool off. It was such an awesome day.
Tiny red bugs that you can't really see that cause huge itchy welts and bite where a person has elastic. Usually they get you when you are in the brush. I haven't had them get me since college, but at that point I had welts the size of a quarter in a line all around me where my bra and underwear had been.
Or in my case, snug jeans on a hot ass day. Bootfit specifically. My thighs are COVERED. They like warm snug little places. Thank god they didn't make it much higher, though I do have a couple around my bra band.
Tiny red bugs that you can't really see that cause huge itchy welts and bite where a person has elastic. Usually they get you when you are in the brush. I haven't had them get me since college, but at that point I had welts the size of a quarter in a line all around me where my bra and underwear had been.
Or in my case, snug jeans on a hot ass day. Bootfit specifically. My thighs are COVERED. They like warm snug little places. Thank god they didn't make it much higher, though I do have a couple around my bra band.
Oh yeah--I've gotten a couple on my thighs before too where pants pull.
Without writing the 15 paragraphs I could on this:
My sister has unfriended me on FB and refused to speak to me in over a month. She had her baby two weeks ago. My husband emailed her a very neutral "Congratulations from us to you" email. She has responding by indicating that HE and the kids are welcome to come over to meet the new cousin. DH responded with a throw away, "Things are kind of busy right now." But let's just look at that. In order for my kids to know their cousin, they must be separated from me. I'm not talking about this in the sense that I can't handle being physically apart from my kids for two or three hours. I'm talking about the psychological implication of my sister, using her daughter, to triangulate me AND MY FUCKING CHILDREN! "Want to meet your cousin? Can't bring your mommy." That is so phenomenally colossally enormously fucked up, I cannot even wrap my head around it.
To a lesser extent, she has done the same thing with my mom. Since my sister will not be anywhere I am and will not allow me to be anywhere she is, she has created a situation where my mom cannot spend time with all of her grandchildren at once. She has to either be with my sister's daughter or with my kids. OR I supposed she could be with my kids and my sister's kid if I weren't there.
I don't even know what to do about this. I am so angry I could throw shit. I am so completely over all of this. I told DH this weekend when he asked me what I wanted to do about my sister and about the fact that my kids have not yet met their cousin, and I just don't know. I'm honestly leaning towards: she is dead to me. The whole thing of trying to wedge herself between myself and my children with this "I have your only cousin" carrot, makes me equal parts sad and terrified. Because a 5 year old and a 3 year old will understand none of this. But some day they will be 15, and teenage conflict will be the theme of our relationship and I will have set the precedent whereby my kids understand they have an ally in my sister who will tell them they are perfectly justified in hating me for grounding them over that shitty grade, or telling them they cannot go to that party at someone's older college-aged brother's apartment...
And I'm not setting that up. I'm not setting up the precedent where it's okay for my sister to manipulate my children in a way that creates a psychological separation between them and me.
asdfjkl Hugs, lady. We've cut out MIL, FIL, and BIL because they are batshitcrazy and the thing that makes me the saddest (really, the only thing) is that my kids won't ever have cousins.
I also wouldn't feel bad about your kids not meeting their cousin. For one, the baby certainly won't know, and for two your kids probably won't ever remember it either. It's just not that big of a deal. It's more to feed the ego of the parents than it is for the child.
I don't think you could pay me enough money to go down that ladder into the cave.
As soon as you stepped onto the first rung you could feel the cold air, like someone opened a giant freezer (which felt amazing since yesterday was hot and humid). Even at the end of the summer, there was ice and snow at the bottom. Nature is crazy and cool.
SBP, I'm sorry you're going through that. Family mind games are so difficult. Has she always had this kind of dramatic behavior, or do you think it could just be the hyped up emotions/hormones around being pregnant and a new mom?
Post by secretlyevil on Sept 2, 2014 12:31:48 GMT -5
Ok, this is really bugging me. Recently my group went through a restructure. I got a new supervisor. My SVP told everyone but me while I was on vacation. Ok...then I was back...two weeks went by. My new supervisor told me he was my boss. My old supervisor has been traveling but has been in the office intermittently. At some point an email, "hey I wish I could have done this in person but unfortunately timing just hasn't worked..." Today he stopped by my cube for small talk and I just wanted to scream. Not once did he say anything about the restructure. I've been his direct report for six years.
Ok, this is really bugging me. Recently my group went through a restructure. I got a new supervisor. My SVP told everyone but me while I was on vacation. Ok...then I was back...two weeks went by. My new supervisor told me he was my boss. My old supervisor has been traveling but has been in the office intermittently. At some point an email, "hey I wish I could have done this in person but unfortunately timing just hasn't worked..." Today he stopped by my cube for small talk and I just wanted to scream. Not once did he say anything about the restructure. I've been his direct report for six years.
Am I just being overly sensitive or is this rude?
It's weird. But rude is not exactly the word I'd use. Rude implies it's an intentional slight as opposed to a bunch of engineers being...uhhh...engineers. I say this because every restructure I've been through has involved people not bothering to tell anybody anything and just emailing out new org charts. I found out my entire department was being transferred to a new sub-org at my old place (as in new boss's boss AND moving to a new physical location within the building) when the facilities guys came in to inventory my furniture for the move.
Post by downtoearth on Sept 2, 2014 12:57:44 GMT -5
asdfjkl Wait, this is all pretty much over her not wanting you to disagree with her birth plan?! I was thinking it was something with way more moral/social clout?! [/p]
Yeah, with her getting so pissy about her birth plan, I wouldn't worry too much about your kids growing up and going to her to agree with their terrible teenage rants. I think it sucks and that you'll have to wait this out, but I would still send the kids and DH over to meet the baby with a card from you. Being the bigger person and saying, "I love you, want to meet my niece/nephew, and hope you'll get over this." is probably what I'd do and then just wait it out. But I am not a therapist/counselor, so it might not be the right choice. Plus being mad at your mom about having all the grandkids together is too much. She needs to stop acting like she invented childbirth and parenting. But I'd say all that to us and my friends and keep the niceness up for my sister.
Ok, this is really bugging me. Recently my group went through a restructure. I got a new supervisor. My SVP told everyone but me while I was on vacation. Ok...then I was back...two weeks went by. My new supervisor told me he was my boss. My old supervisor has been traveling but has been in the office intermittently. At some point an email, "hey I wish I could have done this in person but unfortunately timing just hasn't worked..." Today he stopped by my cube for small talk and I just wanted to scream. Not once did he say anything about the restructure. I've been his direct report for six years.
Am I just being overly sensitive or is this rude?
It's weird. But rude is not exactly the word I'd use. Rude implies it's an intentional slight as opposed to a bunch of engineers being...uhhh...engineers. I say this because every restructure I've been through has involved people not bothering to tell anybody anything and just emailing out new org charts. I found out my entire department was being transferred to a new sub-org at my old place (as in new boss's boss AND moving to a new physical location within the building) when the facilities guys came in to inventory my furniture for the move.
ugh, normally I would agree with you. But he's a surveyor and he's always said, "we're different." I want to tell him he was a jerk and move on with my life because work sucks enough without this too but apparently I'm difficult and opinionated.
ETA: Normally, he's not so...thoughtless? I guess is the word.
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Sept 2, 2014 12:59:28 GMT -5
Can I complain about my mom for a sec? I love her and she's wonderful, but I just can't with her sometimes. We were visiting them over the weekend. We stopped by for lunch before going back home. We arrived to see my mom's entire family (minus one brother) at their house. All people we'd spent multiple hours with the day before. Mom decided she wanted some family picture taken and apparently it had to be done then.
Lunch was going to be there right when we got there. Our plan was to eat lunch, feed the baby, then hit the road. Spend about an hour, tops. Mom knew this. We had 25 min maximum from arrival to baby needing to eat. Mom knew this, too. 45 minutes after we got there, company was just leaving and lunch was nowhere in sight.
Post by downtoearth on Sept 2, 2014 13:02:18 GMT -5
My random CEP is that a 34 year old woman, teacher is running for our state's Senate seat and I'm so excited. I've donated and am really hoping she can beat out the other guy (who has a lot of national repub and maybe Koch money coming in). She is doing great with grassroots efforts, but I'm not sure she'll outweigh him. He won't debate her is the word, so I'm guessing he knows he's more smoke and mirrors than authentic. Plus I'm a little jealous that I'm not running for political office.
My feet are covered in mosquito bites thanks to too many evenings spent out on the deck with a glass of wine and reading research articles. Socks are torture right now. Blerg. ALL I WANT TO DO IS SCRATCH DAMN IT.
I have chiggers. ((solidarity hugs))
My new favorite thing in the world is the spray hydrocortisone. I managed to get enough on my legs last night that they were basically numb when I went to sleep.
Have you tried the scalpicin? There are generics at Walgreens/CVS also. It's a liquid hydrocortisone and helped a ton.
Yeah, I thought it was only about this one birth plan incident so I thought you could just let it blow over. I didn't know there was a lot of backstory.
Oh and I didn't have the breech baby vaginally on purpose - I was just having a vaginal baby and as I started pushing they found out it wasn't the head coming out.
Post by mominatrix on Sept 2, 2014 15:09:40 GMT -5
I just got my new Frye boots from UPS, went to pull them on, and one of the bootstraps popped out, tearing the leather. I'm bummed, but I think it's funny that I have faulty bootstraps.
I just got my new Frye boots from UPS, went to pull them on, and one of the bootstraps popped out, tearing the leather. I'm bummed, but I think it's funny that I have faulty bootstraps.
I liked this only because of the joke. Bummer about the Fryes, though.