BFing in church

[mpc]

Long story but I just found out that my church has a policy not to allow breast feeding in the service. (I saw them ask someone else to leave and have since verified this is official policy.) They do offer multiple other places mothers can go, including a dedicated nursing room, but apparently if you try to feed your child in the service they will ask you to leave. I'm really mad about this and I'm not even nursing anymore!

WDYT? Do I let this go since they offer other accommodations? Or am I justified in being upset about this? I talked with the head of the children's ministry and got nowhere. I'm drafting an email to the pastor(s). Somehow a local FB moms group I'm part of found out about this and they're talking about doing a nurse-in, but nothing planned yet.

ETA: I'm about to get on a plane so I won't be able to reply for a while.

[h]

Well, if God wanted you to sit around nursing in church, he would have given you breasts. Oh wait...

I think you are justified in being upset. I would definitely press the issue.

[curbsideprophet]

I would be upset about this. Our church does provide a space for nursing mothers, but I don't think they would ask anyone to leave the service.

[mbcdefg]

Sept 8, 2014 12:24:50 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

Even the pope is pro-nursing in church, if I recall correctly! That is really sad. I don't know how I would feel about nursing in church but I'm generally not comfortable in a church anyway

I was just looking for the link! m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4585970

(Saw this on the app)

[mpc]

Sept 8, 2014 12:20:13 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Also, that is BS and I would switch churches over that.

When I talked to the children's minister I told her we would have to leave the church, especially since we will be having more children. She said "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Rage.

[gibbinator]

Jesus was openly breastfed according to all art ever

[Deleted]

I would certainly be upset. WTF kind of policy is that?!? The word of God is for everyone, including hungry babies. I would email the pastor(s) and include a pertinent bible verse about comforting the hungry and the needy. And if they stood firm on their ridiculous position, I would find another church and tell them why. WTF.

[brooklyn]

Um, that's ridiculous. God made our breasts to feed babies.

[jene]

Sept 8, 2014 12:28:41 GMT -5 mpc said:

Sept 8, 2014 12:20:13 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Also, that is BS and I would switch churches over that.

When I talked to the children's minister I told her we would have to leave the church, especially since we will be having more children. She said "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Rage.

WTF

[MamaMaui24]

WWMD?
What Would Mary Do?

[vmars]

Sept 8, 2014 12:25:42 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

Sept 8, 2014 12:24:50 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

Even the pope is pro-nursing in church, if I recall correctly! That is really sad. I don't know how I would feel about nursing in church but I'm generally not comfortable in a church anyway

I was just looking for the link! m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4585970

(Saw this on the app)

I don't go to church, but you should certainly be allowed. I love that quote from the pope.

[Deleted]

Sept 8, 2014 12:24:50 GMT -5 @callmefia said:

Even the pope is pro-nursing in church, if I recall correctly! That is really sad. I don't know how I would feel about nursing in church but I'm generally not comfortable in a church anyway

The pope was the first thing that came to mind. I do not think this is ok at all. I try to cover when nursing in church but I would not leave. I'm in MA and the law is on my side. I can nurse in any location that baby and I can be legally, so that includes church. I have nursed in church numerous times.

[simpsongal]

I don't think it's welcome in our church and there isn't a private place to nurse. I go out and nurse in the lobby. I just don't want to say anything or offend. Church crowds tend to skew old and for some reason, older people seem to be offended by nursing.

[Brie]

No. No, no, no. I BFed in church pretty much every week for C's first year. Everyone survived.

Nursing rooms, while a nice gesture for those who aren't comfortable NIP, are not the same as being in the service. Separate is not equal.

I would, however, bring it up with church administration first and get some sort of official response before unleashing hell. It's possible that it's an old/outdated rule and they're willing to change it.

[sh10]

Is it specific to BF or kids in the service at all? Our church is strict with not having kids in the main service but have awesome kid programs. If the policy is specific to BF, I would escalate it and likely find a new church.

[purplecow0206]

I really didn't realize how much of a "lactivist" I am until I started breastfeeding.

One of the things that made me most uncomfortable at our old church was the sense I got that from them that bfing in the service was frowned upon, but how "great" it was that that my H would take A out of the service in equal parts if she was being really loud.

The pastor at our current church actually stopped giving a sermon one week to say that you should never feel the need to take your child out of the service, even if they're being "distruptive". The most attention I've gotten at this church from bfing was a toddler, who I later found out was recently weaned, watched me when I was bfing A during the service one time.

[zarapipe]

Sept 8, 2014 12:28:41 GMT -5 mpc said:

Sept 8, 2014 12:20:13 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Also, that is BS and I would switch churches over that.

When I talked to the children's minister I told her we would have to leave the church, especially since we will be having more children. She said "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Rage.

That's f'ed up. Majorly.

[Brie]

This just kills me. Yet how many churches complain about their membership getting too old and dying out? Wonder why.

[sunshineluv]

Can you bottle feed during church? Not you in particular, but is bottle feeding allowed? Is it a no food in the sanctuary policy?

Each time I have needed to nurse during church, I go to the nursery and sit in a glider while listening to the sermon (by my choice). It doesn't bother me, but I have no clue if I am "allowed" to nurse in the church. I would be pretty shocked if they kicked me out for something like that.

[vmars]

When I was pg I heard someone complain that a woman was BFing during a baptism. She said she wore a cover which she called an apron and she could still hear the baby eating and it was gross. You literally can not win.

[Deleted]

I would leave, and I would likely throw them to the media dogs on the way out. The news would eat that shit up.

[halfpint]

I would, without question, leave that church. After I invited my crunchy breastfeeding support FB group to one last service with me. JESUS LOVED BOOBS!

[halfpint]

Sept 8, 2014 12:45:01 GMT -5 vmars said:

When I was pg I heard someone complain that a woman was BFing during a baptism. She said she wore a cover which she called an apron and she could still hear the baby eating and it was gross. You literally can not win.

"Gross"?  I'm so filled with rage over that. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO RE-DAMN-DICULOUS?!?!

[h]

Sept 8, 2014 12:37:59 GMT -5 sh10 said:

Is it specific to BF or kids in the service at all? Our church is strict with not having kids in the main service but have awesome kid programs. If the policy is specific to BF, I would escalate it and likely find a new church.

The church service is kid-free?  I have never heard of this--I wonder if it's common.  How old do kids have to be to attend the service?

[teatimefor2]

I nursed in church and no one minded. If they did, they kept their opinions quiet.

Personally, I would address it with the church leaders and see if they are willing to change their position. If not, I would leave and let everyone know exactly why I was leaving.

If the Pope is okay with BF, a church should be too.

[redpenmama]

If you are in a state that protects BFing in public, the church is breaking the law, and you can inform them of that. I would raise hell on my way out of that church if they pushed back and continued to uphold this ridiculous and possibly illegal rule. Totally unacceptable.

[turtlegirl]

I would definitely be really upset about that.

One of the reasons I love our church and our new pastor so much is that he encourages young families to bring their kids to the service and doesn't care if they are crying or shrieking with joy. We are a small church that skews older as well - but I've heard from many of the "olds" in church that they love seeing kids in church.

Just this past week I sat right next to a mom who breasfed her 2 month old and then wrapped her up in a crazy wrap and wore her the rest of the service. I leaned over the remarked to my husband how quiet and easy is seemed for her, but it's also her third kid, so she's a pro!

[Willis Jackson]

I don't think the Pope's opinions of breastfeeding are going to have an effect on the leaders of a protestant church, if that's what op's is.

That said, this is some bullshit. I definitely think you should leave the church and alert the media.

[nonsenseabound]

Ha, I nursed my DD during service right after she was baptized. I used a blanket and covered up because we were in the front row. I'd rather have a breastfed kid than a crying baby!

[sh10]

Sept 8, 2014 13:02:15 GMT -5 h said:

Sept 8, 2014 12:37:59 GMT -5 sh10 said:

Is it specific to BF or kids in the service at all? Our church is strict with not having kids in the main service but have awesome kid programs. If the policy is specific to BF, I would escalate it and likely find a new church.

The church service is kid-free?  I have never heard of this--I wonder if it's common.  How old do kids have to be to attend the service?

I think they recommend high school and up to attend the service. They have covered topics where they have reminded people that they recommend high school and up. That sermon was on sex.

I think they take the no kids in service a little too far, when DS was four weeks we went to church, he was too young to go to the nursery and the usher very strongly encouraged me to sit in another room with a live feed to the service. That kind of made me mad, but I guess if it's a restriction on all kids they don't have to deal with one off issues.