NCEP Ethical Question - Possible Trigger (Baby related)

[jln]

So I'm dealing with an issue and I'm not sure what to do.  

Here's the situation:  My next door neighbors have a 4 month old.   Since she was born they've driven several times (that we've seen) with her not in her carseat.  They have the carseat installed in the car, but drove with her on mom's lap in the front seat.  I hadn't seen her on lap for a while so I was hoping they learned better.  Well, I was wrong.  I just watched mom pull up, walk to the back seat where the carseat is, and pull baby out of the car without undoing the buckles because she obviously wasn't buckled in.  

I'm literally shaking and have a huge knot in my stomach thinking about that poor baby.  These people are not teenagers and are not immigrants.  They should know better.  They also drive like fucking maniacs through the neighborhood so that especially concerns me. 

Do I call CPS?  What do I do?  I am concerned that if I call there will be repercussions.  I've been outside when they've left their driveway with baby on the lap, so they'll know it's me as the neighbor on the other side can't see their driveway from their house.  

[iammalcolmx]

I would call somebody. I have a seatbelt for my dog after seeing crash videos, I can't imagine a baby.

[heyjude]

You have to do something. Leave literature on their doorstep regarding safe car travels with a baby? if they still choose to behave like idiots, call CPS.

[jln]

Sept 14, 2014 14:34:59 GMT -5 heyjude said:

You have to do something. Leave literature on their doorstep regarding safe car travels with a baby? if they still choose to behave like idiots, call CPS.

That's a good idea.  I'll find a pamphlet to leave them.  It makes me ill.  I'm a nut about car seat safety and it makes me ill how callous these people are with the safety of their baby.

[simplyinpenguin]

If they're driving around with a baby in the front seat, then someone else, other than you, has also seen them. I could call CPS the next time you see the baby in the lap or even if you see the baby not strapped in. Like I said, someone else will have also seen this. They can be suspicious of you but they can't prove that it's you.

If anything, the parents will be schooled by authority of how and why a carseat works and why a baby goes in one. They can be good parents other than the carseat thing...or they could be doing more neglectful things behind closed doors. It really depends on how strong your alarmed feeling is and if you truly believe that baby is in great danger.

[jln]

Luckily the parents live in the garage of her parent's house (real winners, I know). So her parents do take care of the baby a lot. So I am hoping that any neglect or abuse in the home would be stopped by the grandparents. However, I'm not so sure as they're obviously not seeing or saying anything about the car seat issue.

[StrawberryBlondie]

I'd call someone.

I accidentally forgot to buckle H in once when going to Target (6 blocks away) when she was about 3 weeks. I was so sick and upset with myself.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2014 14:39:05 GMT -5 jln said:

Sept 14, 2014 14:34:59 GMT -5 heyjude said:

You have to do something. Leave literature on their doorstep regarding safe car travels with a baby? if they still choose to behave like idiots, call CPS.

That's a good idea.  I'll find a pamphlet to leave them.  It makes me ill.  I'm a nut about car seat safety and it makes me ill how callous these people are with the safety of their baby.

But they have a car seat, so I'm assuming they obviously were able to afford one and know that a car seat should be used. I probably wouldn't waste time with a pamphlet and I'd call the non emergency police number to ask them how to proceed. 

[jln]

Yes, TWO car seats. They have a Graco Snugride installed and a Britax sitting in their garage. And a newer car. It's not a money thing. I think they're lazy POS's.

[Deleted]

Who cares if they're mad at you? If the baby dies you will never be able to live with yourself. Call CPS.

[penguingrrl]

Given that they have the seats it does sound like they're blatantly disregarding the law, not uninformed. I would call the police non emergency number and ask how to proceed. This isn't something I would be worried about alienating neighbors over since it's blatantly illegal and positively dangerous for the baby. They don't even need to be in an accident for this baby to be hurt; slamming on the brakes quickly would be enough.

[statlerwaldorf]

I wouldn't bother with a pamphlet. I would call. I don't think they would automatically know it's you. Anyone could see them driving down the road and report their license plate number.

[MixedBerryJam]

I haven't read all the responses yet, but while I realize calls are supposed to be anonymous, instead of calling and saying "My neighbor is doing xyz" maybe you could call and say, "I just saw a car leave xyz location and the baby wasn't buckled/front seat/lap/whatever." I realize it's a bit of a fib, but it might put just that bit of distance between you and the reporter, and certainly if CPS got involved (I hope they would!) then a reference to their neighbor wouldn't slip out by mistake.

[jln]

Sept 14, 2014 16:04:33 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

I haven't read all the responses yet, but while I realize calls are supposed to be anonymous, instead of calling and saying "My neighbor is doing xyz" maybe you could call and say, "I just saw a car leave xyz location and the baby wasn't buckled/front seat/lap/whatever." I realize it's a bit of a fib, but it might put just that bit of distance between you and the reporter, and certainly if CPS got involved (I hope they would!) then a reference to their neighbor wouldn't slip out by mistake.

If I did this should I give the license plate and car description instead of address?

[chedifuen]

Yes, call CPS or the police. My husband called on a neighbor once and CPS told us to call 911 of we ever saw it again.

[emilyj]

I would call the nonemergency number for the police and ask what to do. I wouldn't worry about them knowing it was you who called. If they are driving with a baby on their lap, any driver on the road could have seen them and called.

[MixedBerryJam]

Sept 14, 2014 16:39:16 GMT -5 jln said:

Sept 14, 2014 16:04:33 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

I haven't read all the responses yet, but while I realize calls are supposed to be anonymous, instead of calling and saying "My neighbor is doing xyz" maybe you could call and say, "I just saw a car leave xyz location and the baby wasn't buckled/front seat/lap/whatever." I realize it's a bit of a fib, but it might put just that bit of distance between you and the reporter, and certainly if CPS got involved (I hope they would!) then a reference to their neighbor wouldn't slip out by mistake.

If I did this should I give the license plate and car description instead of address?

That's what I'd do. Whether you call CPS or the police, they will surely be able to get the car's address from the DMV. ETA: I'd probably also give a description of the people.

[jln]

Apparently non-emergency isn't open on the weekend. So first thing tomorrow morning I'll call them and CPS.

[kwynn]

Why has no one mentioned just talking to the neighbors? Leaving a note?

I'm old-fashioned, but I think I'd just say, mom to mom "Sally, your daughter is so adorable! I'm not sure if you know...but you can get a ticket for not having your kid in a car seat and they are really strict around here - it's so awkward to bring this up, but one day, I think you forgot to put her in. My friend was in a bad accident and the car seat totally saved her kids! I'm expecting my second baby and wanted to know if you have a good infant seat recommendation?"

[jln]

Sept 14, 2014 21:29:23 GMT -5 kwynn said:

Why has no one mentioned just talking to the neighbors? Leaving a note?

I'm old-fashioned, but I think I'd just say, mom to mom "Sally, your daughter is so adorable! I'm not sure if you know...but you can get a ticket for not having your kid in a car seat and they are really strict around here - it's so awkward to bring this up, but one day, I think you forgot to put her in. My friend was in a bad accident and the car seat totally saved her kids! I'm expecting my second baby and wanted to know if you have a good infant seat recommendation?"

Well, they're not the friendliest of neighbors and I've never talked to them before.  And this makes me so angry and uncomfortable that I don't think I could have that discussion.  

[felicia]

Like someone else said - if you've seen them with her unbuckled, someone else has. There's no way they'd know it was definitely you. I'd call with a license plate and description of the car when you see them drive off. I forgot to buckle in DD once and I also felt sick about it for days.

[downtoearth]

I probably wouldn't call without trying to reach out to them first, but that is just me. I'd approach it from an area of concern if I knew them and wanted to stay neighbors. If I didn't know them, I'd probably leave a note with a pamphlet on safety and then look up the number for my phone so I could call the next time I saw it.