Fucking hell

[Deleted]

Its a high school friend's birthday today, so I just went to post a happy birthday message on his Facebook wall. As I'm scrolling down his page, I see to the left side of the page a "note" in which this friend was mentioned.  

It was from 2 years ago, and it was by another mutual friend; my good friend who died last year at the age of 28 from cancer. I clicked on the note which was about her cancer returning, then I clicked over to her Facebook page. Her mom and friends post things occasionally, and so have I; little reminders of her, memories, thoughts and "we miss you" messages. 

And now I sit here with tears streaming down my face and my throat so tight I can barely breathe. 


I turn 30 next month. Her birthday was the week before mine. She was too young and smart and kind and funny and loved.



Fuck cancer. 

[hisno1girl]

Fuck cancer, indeed.

Im sorry about your friend.

Let yourself cry and then have a glass of wine.q

(hugs n hair pats)

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry

[mcmel]

I'm really sorry. Cancer is so awful.

[Deleted]

She's the first close friend of mine to pass away.

I remember I was at work when I found out and I had to leave because it was such a punch in the gut.

I'm mad at myself for sometimes intentionally avoiding looking at her page because it hurts too much. She wouldn't want that. She wanted people to be happy and celebrate her life, but it just makes me cry every time I think of her.

[nadasteph]

(((Fuckstick)))
I know exactly what you're talking about. A high school friend of mine was killed in Afghanistan and sometimes I get sucked into reading all the messages on the page dedicated to him and just sobbing.

[mrsrumfkin]

Fuck cancer. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[renna]

I'm so sorry about your friend, FS. I lost my Aunt to cancer last week. It really does not discriminate, does it? (((FS))) So sorry for your loss.

[nannersp]

I'm sorry.

[So_Fetch]

Im so sorry. Fuck cancer indeed.

We lost a friend this morning who put up the most amazing fight. Cancer fucking sucks.

[Deleted]

Cancer does not discriminate with age or how healthy you live. I'm sorry FS. It's always a kick in the gut when someone who is your age that you knew well passes away. ((hugs))

[jlt19]

I'm so sorry, sometimes the pain comes shooting back when you least expect it.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. Fuck cancer

[underwaterrhymes]

I'm so sorry, fuckstick. Big hugs to you.

[nahoku]

I'm sorry ((fuckstick)) I know some people don't get posting on a deceased friend's fb wall or "to" them. But it's cathartic sometimes to look at a page and remember and know that you're not the only one hurting and missing them.

[Muddled]

It's ok to cry.

[revolution]

I'm sorry. Fuck cancer, indeed. Hugs to you.

[blueshirt2003]

Sept 16, 2014 0:40:11 GMT -5 So_Fetch said:

Im so sorry. Fuck cancer indeed.

We lost a friend this morning who put up the most amazing fight. Cancer fucking sucks.

I am so sorry.  

Ugh. 

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. Cancer can fuck right off. I lost a good high school friend to brain cancer at 28. She had two small toddlers. Every year it is waterworks on her birthday and anniversary of her death. Her kids are old enough to post on Facebook and post in her wall all the time. It's very sweet and hard to read all at once but I am thankful they have some way to still connect with their mom.

[Deleted]

Thank you everyone, I appreciate the thoughts. Yesterday was an emotional day all around and that just capped it off. I miss my friend dearly. Hugs to you guys as well.

[lilafowler]

:-(