whats the protocol here?

[Deleted]

I just found out that h's brother's wife's dad is in icu right now. Apparently he had surgery scheduled for yesterday or this morning?

I just texted h and apparently he knew, but forgot to tell me. I asked if we should send something or do something, but he said no.

It feels really weird for me to have someone in icu and not do anything about this. Do I defer to h since this is his brother's wife or do I do something anyway?

[Deleted]

Her dad usually comes to major holiday dinners, so I've probably seen him almost a dozen times.

I really like her, but we never call each other up and hang out. (I think this is partly due to the fact that h is way younger than his siblings.)

Hmm, ok I think you're right. I'll just ask h to call his brother tonight or something.

I still can't get used to how disconnected h's family feels as compared to my overbearing family. Our families are on two very opposite ends of the spectrum.

[Deleted]

FYI, you can't send flowers/plants to ICU, they won't allow them. However, I'm sure BIL's wife is feeling really stressed and worried right now. Where are they in relation to you? Any way you can figure out some way to arrange to take care of a meal for them or something? Because honestly, when my stepmom was in ICU, we were all so stressed and worried, having to think about food was overwhelming.

If that's not an option, then a phone call to show your concern and a "Get Well Soon/You're in our t&P" card would be excellent. Cards are allowed in ICU and if he's awake, then that's something good to look at.

[Deleted]

She flew out to be with her dad, so h's brother is here, but she's in another state right now.

Good call on the flower/balloon situation in the icu though. I always forget that. Thanks!

[WOT?*]

Yep, no flowers in ICU. My MIL has been in ICU for the past month. I've been waiting to no avail for her to be transferred to a regular room so I can send her something colorful.

Have your H call his brother and let them know you're thinking about them. Maybe you can send his FIL a card or short note to let him know you're thinking of him. But that should probably (maybe) be your H's call. It wouldn't be amiss to let them know you care though, even if your DH doesn't want to bother.

[emyinpink]

I would say, maybe ask your brother if there's a place that you could get delivery or takeout giftcards for? that and a card would be the best, I think.

[jennlin]

Jul 26, 2012 19:24:39 GMT -5 @emyinpink said:

I would say, maybe ask your brother if there's a place that you could get delivery or takeout giftcards for? that and a card would be the best, I think.

this--but also, don't forget to take care of the brother/kids. they might need help while mom is gone...so maybe a gc to food where SIL is, and help BIL watch kids for a night, or bring pizza, or something for them, too.