My gosh telling Logan no at that age was the worst thing I could have done. It was his third word and he repeated it while crawling towards whatever it was I had told him no to lol.
But yeah! People should definitely get some training before having kids. It's the biggest and most significant job in you life and people are terribly unprepared.
Omg wambam. I had never heard of them, I want to puke. There are truly people out there who use fear as a parenting philosophy? Like consciously? Those poor babies.
I am in an area that has a very religious culture. Most of the families around here followed James Dobson and focus on the family crap as guidance for parenting. It is very adversarial, and its goal seems to be to break the will of the child. My ILs recommended "the strong willed child" by Dobson. A few times DH has gone on autopilot and repeated crap from his childhood and said "she is either going to mind out of love or she is going to mind out of fear". It is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. He still thinks that the sign of a "good" child is one who immediately follows their parents commands. It is so hard to chip away at these long held beliefs of how children should be raised. He barely tolerates his parents. He is pissed about so much crap from his childhood, but easily defaults to it.
I think we live in the same state, IIRC. This has now become some kind of liberal/conservative divide with the evangelicals REALLY into corporal punishment for kids. Just look at the map of which states still allow corporal punishment in schools. And Kansas has been trying to pass a law that will define exactly where the line is between child abuse and acceptable parental discipline (disturbingly called the "red welt" guidelines.) I also see these comments about spanking from some of my new "friends" on Facebook.
What the heck is wrong with conservatives? I told DH that we may have to pack up and flee to a more enlightened area once our kid enters K.
Omg wambam. I had never heard of them, I want to puke. There are truly people out there who use fear as a parenting philosophy? Like consciously? Those poor babies.
Yeah, like the Duggars. You know, that wholesome family that gets thousands to be around tv.
I know that everybody has not taken human growth and development. I wish some of this stuff was more common knowledge. But! I still feel like this should be common sense. It seems that I am wrong?
Common sense is no longer common.
I once wrote a paper in high school with a very similar title, lol.
I have a family member who smack there childs hands ALL.THE.TIME. Ever since he was a baby and just exploring. Well now he bites. The father actually told everyone it was okay to " smash his face" if he bit you.
He is such a sweet little boy, but all he has ever known is aggression and abandonment ( his parents drop him at the grandparents house for overnights like ALL.THE.TIME to the point where he cries to go home and tells everyone he lives at grandma's house.*)
* To clarify I am not saying the occaisional date night or weekend away I am saying 2 weekends a month, plus random overnights at least 2 times a month, plus at least 2 week long vacations a year and dropping off with the other grandma/aunts/uncles/friends almost as much.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Sept 19, 2014 8:42:44 GMT -5
Blanket training is so fucking sick. I don't understand wanting to break children's spirits. They are so much fun when they're figuring things out.
When K was five weeks old, MIL / FIL visited. At one point he was crying and MIL jokingly said, "he's crying because he knows I'm the grandma who spanks."
I said, "Oh no, grandma. We don't spank."
They both expressed surprise and I said very firmly that our son will NOT be spanked by anyone.
FWIW, my MIL is a wonderful person and I know she was just joking around as she wouldn't have spanked at that age, but I wanted to make it clear from the very beginning that is not part of our discipline plan.
I think we will definitely need to remind all of the grandparents, though. Both H and I were spanked as kids, and although we were never beaten and I wouldn't qualify it as abuse, it's not the route we're going with K.
Post by coribelle26 on Sept 19, 2014 8:44:44 GMT -5
Does anybody remember the psychological study about learned helplessness where the dogs were given an electric shock every time they tried to jump out of the box they were in? (And eventually they just stopped trying even when the shock was removed.)
I just googled blanket training because I had never heard of it, and it's the exact same principle.