Special Friends vs. Emotional Affair

[livinitup]

I'm watching The Roosevelts on PBS and we've gotten to the part about Daisy. Lots of letters, sharing and planning. She's known as an 'intimate friend' who planned to build a cottage on their shared favorite hill.

So, an older friend at work was all about how it's okay to have "special friends" outside a marriage. 

Or is this just an emotional affair?

[Deleted]

Maybe Daisy was a back in the day unicorn.

[Deleted]

To me an emotional affair suggests that there is mutual romantic feelings that haven't been acted on...yet.

I have male friends that I get along great with, make jokes with etc and am generally just treated like one of the guys. There is no sexual attraction what so ever.

[compassrose]

Is the older friend also a lesbian like Eleanor?

[EmilieMadison]

What is a "special friend"? Why is it in quotes? 

[livinitup]

A few of us were talking about Daisy and he chimed-in in saying Special Friends were okay, over and over. So, it seemed appropriate to put it in quotes.

And the older friend is a gay man.

[EmilieMadison]

Sept 18, 2014 20:44:04 GMT -5 livinitup said:

A few of us were talking about Daisy and he chimed-in in saying Special Friends were okay, over and over. So, it seemed appropriate to put it in quotes.

And the older friend is a gay man.

So what are you asking?

[gozf]

Wut?

[BaliHai]

Are we talking in code?

[mellymel]

I am confused

[sequins]

If it's a special friend you want to bump nasties with, it's an EA. Or if you stop caring about your partner and your "friend" has replaced your relationship with your spouse, then it's an EA. IMO.

[SwimDeep]

Growing up as a Baptist fundamentalist, my first "courtship" type interaction thingy was called "special friends" by my parents (and his parents).

I still feel weird about it.

That's all I have to add.

[sapphireblue]

I have a lot of guy friends. I think they find me attractive, and I find them attractive, but objectively, not personally, if that makes sense. The idea of making out with one of them would be so weird, sort of like doing it with my brother.

We talk about sex and stuff but it isn't flirtatious. More like it's so helpful to be able to ask a guy questions about sex, how other women are in certain ways, etc.

So I'd say we are good or special friends but there is NO emotional affair. One of my very best friends is a guy. He happens to be extremely handsome and 6'4", the kind of guy all women notice. But we really are just friends.

Was your coworker just referring to opposite sex friends as "special"?

[EmilieMadison]

So we can replace "special friend" with "closest friend/bff"? The difference between that and an EA is that you dont have something more or imagine something more, either acknowledged or not, with a close friend/bff.

[livinitup]

I think he meant that intense, personal friendship were a-okay (I think it still had to be non-sex). But that seems to tread on emotional affair territory to me. I think Daisy was a huge affair even if they didn't have the sex.