Advice: I rear ended someone :(

[noodleoo]

Ugh, I feel like an idiot. I rear ended someone at a stop light last night. I had fully stopped, but was looking for something in the back seat and I guess my foot came off the brake. I didn’t realize until I hit him. Sigh.

The damage was really minimal to his car, just a few small scratches.  There was no damage to my car.  His car is a lease, so he said he was going to take it to the dealership. I told him that I’d prefer not to go through insurance (since the points will be worse for me than just paying for the repair). So I asked him to get a quote for the repair and email it to me and I would just write him a check. I was hoping this would be easy.

He emailed me today that he contacted insurance and they are sending out an appraiser. I don’t know what this means! Is there any way for me to avoid going through insurance and pay myself if he already contacted them?

I’d appreciate any other advice on how to handle this. I have a perfect driving record and I really don’t want this to ruin it.

[audette]

No clue. Could you ask him to get you in contact with his insurer? That might be a way to go around having your insurance involved.


Also, some insurance has accident forgiveness for a first accident. You might find that having this reported to your insurance won't negatively impact your insurance.

[leeba25]

First of all, that guy is a douchebag. That completely suck that he called his insurance anyway.

I did that once, in my brand new car, because I wasn't used to the springiness of the brake pedal. I was changing the radio station. Ugh.

Anyway, good luck. I hope it's easy for you.

[starlily]

You asked him to not go through insurance, but he called them anyways. No, I don't think you have any chance now of handling this independently.

[lemon]

Sept 19, 2014 10:24:41 GMT -5 leeba25 said:

First of all, that guy is a douchebag. 

(huh)

Uh, no he's not.  He has every right to go through his insurance after someone else hits him.

OP, it sucks that you hit someone, but you will have to take your licks on this one if the guy has already contacted his insurance.  I would have done the same thing if I were in his shoes, it's the reason I pay for insurance after all.

[krisandgrace]

I had this happen a couple of years ago but my car was the one that got hit. The guy was really nice and wanted to not get insurance involved but what even looks like minor damage often involves replacing the whole bumper. I can't remember how much the repair was but he ended up using his insurance in the end. Don't be too hard on yourself I think almost everyone has done this at some point in their lives, or a lot of people.

[aurora]

I would ask him if you can talk to his insurance agent and then ask them about their policy for contacting your insurance. I don't know the answer to your question, but I hope it works out OK.

(FWIW, if I were him I would have waited at least a couple of days before contacting my insurance for something so small - giving the opportunity for you to pay up.)

[crashgizmo]

I agree with lemon. My DH has a company car, and they are absolutely required to go through insurance. He had someone hit him that really wanted to settle it outside of insurance but he told them no.

Depending on your insurance company, it will likely not be a big deal since it's your first accident and there was minimal damage. That happened to me a few years ago and my premiums didn't go up at all.

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2014 10:24:41 GMT -5 leeba25 said:

First of all, that guy is a douchebag. That completely suck that he called his insurance anyway.

I did that once, in my brand new car, because I wasn't used to the springiness of the brake pedal. I was changing the radio station. Ugh.

Anyway, good luck. I hope it's easy for you.

Why is the guy a douche bag?

I've always learned that you should go through insurance if you're not at fault.

I can be pretty trusting, but I would not trust someone to write me a check. 

I got rear ended and the kid begged me not to call the cops and his insurance, but I was like screw that, I don't want to deal with anything sketchy. 

[Norticprincess]

It happens. I know for ours (taking out the first accident part) doesn't increase rates for minor stuff under $x amount. Try not to stress out about it.

I'd go through the insurance, it protects both of you. I tried to be nice in a prior accident, the arguing over it wasn't that bad, why does that part need replaced was a PITA. Ended up contacting the insurance companies after getting a few estimates because the at fault person didn't think it was very much damage.

The costs for bumper repairs on the plastic bumpers add up quickly with all the little internal padding things that need to be replaced.

[noodleoo]

Sept 19, 2014 10:22:47 GMT -5 audette said:

No clue. Could you ask him to get you in contact with his insurer? That might be a way to go around having your insurance involved.


Also, some insurance has accident forgiveness for a first accident. You might find that having this reported to your insurance won't negatively impact your insurance.

Ugh.  I hope this is true.  We have Commerce Insurance and have been with them forever, but I don't remember anything about accident forgiveness.  Should I call my insurance agent to find out?

This just sucks.  I was rear ended a few years ago, almost the exact same situation. The guy  asked not to go through insurance.  I got a quote to have it fixed and it was only $350 and he just paid me.  It was easy, I got it fixed and he didn't have to take the hit on his record.  I guess I'm nicer than most people.    

[Deleted]

Hmm. The only time this happened to me we were equally at fault (parking lot) and my car was bad and hers was untouched.

She called her insurance (no idea why). I just told them I wasn't interested in dealing with them and went and paid myself--the repair was about $40 more than my deductible.

You might be able to have him get the quote then just right him a check and he will drop it. I'm sure he's concerned he won't be paid.

[Deleted]

I think you're getting good advice from everybody else. It sounds like insurance will definitely handle this since he has contacted them already. I'm so sorry this happened. Believe me, I know how you feel.

Signed,
Someone who totaled her car (and was at fault in the accident) in June.

[sjh722]

Try not to let it get to you. It happens to everyone at some point. I have both been rear-ended and rear-ended someone. I didn't get a ticket when I rear-ended someone, because the other driver cut me off going through an intersection. Fortunately a police officer was there and saw it happen. It was still over $4K in damage to my car from a fender bender, though. You may have ended going through insurance anyway.

[tacosforlife]

Have you notified your insurance company? You should do that ASAP and let them handle it.

And no, the guy is not a douchebag for going through his insurance company (I know you didn't say that, OP). Plenty of people get screwed when they opt to not go through insurance.

[StJess80]

Something similar happened to me last year. A student hit my car in the parking lot at work and left a note. Her dad wanted to pay out of pocket so an appraiser from the auto body shop came out and assessed it (it was drivable, but the shop offered, so why not?). It ended up being more than he wanted to pay OOP (it was like $3000) so we did go through insurance. Honestly, it was super easy to do.

[ddi741]

I have to be honest, I always go through insurance. I'd be afraid to take a chance that I would somehow have to pay for something that wasn't mu fault.

[Deleted]

It may be different where I live. But here I believe you can deal directly with the other insurance co. It doesn't need to go through yours to go through his. Not sure if that is possible.

[mrshandy]

I don't think you can get around it. I had rear ended someone a year and a half ago. It was my fault and it did damage to both cars. We paid the deductible and our rates went up the next cycle. It kind of sucked.

But last cycle our rates went way down, so I'm just trying to give you some hope that the impact probably won't be that bad.

It happens to everyone. Don't feel bad.

[dexteroni]

I'm a nice person and I wouldn't have agreed to not go through insurance. I wouldn't be willing to forgo that protection just because the person that hit me is concerned about their rates. Sorry!

The good news is that the damage should be minimal since you were barely moving, and hopefully a minor first-time accident won't affect your rates. Good luck!

[Deleted]

If he told you okay, he wouldn't go thru insurance then he is a douchebag.

On the other hand, he has no idea that you are an honest person and you may leave him high and dry. HE is covering his butt.

If someone hit me, I'd go thru insurance.

[dexteroni]

Sept 19, 2014 12:21:46 GMT -5 @susan3589 said:

If he told you okay, he wouldn't go thru insurance then he is a douchebag.

On the other hand, he has no idea that you are an honest person and you may leave him high and dry. HE is covering his butt.

If someone hit me, I'd go thru insurance.

He might have said yes on the spot (although the OP doesn't say he agreed to it) but then later thought better of it. It still doesn't make him a douche.

If someone posted here that someone hit them and they had agreed not to go through insurance, 90% of the comments here would be "protect yourself, call anyway."

[asoctoberfalls]

Sept 19, 2014 12:19:30 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

I'm a nice person and I wouldn't have agreed to not go through insurance. I wouldn't be willing to forgo that protection just because the person that hit me is concerned about their rates. Sorry!

The good news is that the damage should be minimal since you were barely moving, and hopefully a minor first-time accident won't affect your rates. Good luck!

This, exactly. I always contact my insurance company when I'm in an accident, no matter who is at fault. That's why we pay them! And I am a very nice person.

[genet313]

Huge noodleoo.  There's now way to prevent him from going through insurance - just call your insurer, ask them for process details, and they'll get you through it.

Also, now is probably a good time to mention that I rear-ended my own mother when I was in high school.  No joke.  No major damage to her massive, indestructible mini-van, but my air bags blue and my poor little car was pretty screwed up. My parents had to claim against themselves to cover the damage...

That was not a good day.  Hope your process is smoother.

[thatgirl2478]

Something similar happened to me. I'm still not sure why the girl I bumped called my insurance to report it. We were on 294 during rush hour, which if you're familiar with Chicago means we were sitting at a dead stop, my foot let up a tiny bit on the break and oops I bumped her - there was NO damage to either car.

It's annoying, but I'm not sure there's much you can do about it now.

[scoot]

I've been on the opposite side of this situation - someone asked me not to call my insurance company after hitting my car. I did anyway which turned out to be a good thing in the end because the repairs were a lot more expensive than they expected and they ended up fighting my insurance company because they thought the repairs were unnecessary.

What I learned from that is I believe you can call his insurance company and ask if you can pay for the repairs directly, rather than having them get payment through your insurance company. If that doesn't work, then you can probably call your insurance company and see if you can reimburse them for any repairs in order to avoid points. I believe that's what the person who hit me did. Just call him and get any insurance information you need and talk to his insurance.

Good luck - I hope everything works out in your favor!

[liveintheville]

Nothing to add but I'm sorry and hope it doesn't cause issues with your insurance company.

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2014 12:26:39 GMT -5 asoctoberfalls said:

Sept 19, 2014 12:19:30 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

I'm a nice person and I wouldn't have agreed to not go through insurance. I wouldn't be willing to forgo that protection just because the person that hit me is concerned about their rates. Sorry!

The good news is that the damage should be minimal since you were barely moving, and hopefully a minor first-time accident won't affect your rates. Good luck!

This, exactly. I always contact my insurance company when I'm in an accident, no matter who is at fault. That's why we pay them! And I am a very nice person.

Word.

I don't put much faith in random people I meet in traffic.

My mom had a guy offer to pay out of pocket if she didn't file a report with the police or insurance. So after she got a quote he was all "I don't know you are, I've never hit a car! You must have the wrong guy!" Yeah, no.

[FishChicks]

DH hit someone last year. The other driver is suing for her injuries. (DH rear ended her. Our bumper had to be replaced. I am somewhat suspicious of how injured she is, but that's for the attorneys to handle.) Despite this, our rates are the same and he didn't get ticketed, so no points as far as I know. You may be ok.

[everafter07]

It's annoying for you, yes, but he's absolutely right to go through insurance. He has no idea if you're a deadbeat that's trying to skip out on paying or have had numerous accidents before, or are driving without a license. It is what it is, take it as a lesson to put the ebrake on if you have to look in the back for something.