We decided pacifiers could only be used in the crib around 18 months. There was some tears, but he got it. He still has a paci in the crib at 2.5. He doesn't suck on it much anymore, he just holds it while he falls asleep. I am waiting for him to lose interest in it, I think he'll stop asking for it soon. I have no plans to take it away from him. Pacis no one sees but me are certainly not my hill to die on.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on Sept 21, 2014 8:10:00 GMT -5
DD1 never took one, but DD2 is obsessed.
I have no plans to make her give them up before age 3. I have two friends who forced the paci weaning at age 4.
I think things like that are easier when you can have a real conversation with your kid. You can talk about how it's time to give them up because she's a big girl now, you can "mail" the old pacis to a paci fairy or whatever myth you want to make up, and the kid can understand the concept of getting a new toy in exchange for giving them up.
Post by electricmayhem on Sept 21, 2014 8:15:14 GMT -5
We got lucky and DS gave up his (at 35 months) this summer b/c we switched him to a new daycare and none of the other kids in his room were using one for naptime. When he came home that first day with a report that he had slept (and I could tell the paci had not been used--I don't know if the teachers forgot or just asked him to try without it), we went cold turkey that night for sleep too. He asked for it for awhile, and once or twice I found he had swiped DD's (infant) to use, but otherwise, he gave it up without issue.
We stopped right around 2.5. We just told him that big boys don't use pacis, and he was fine. He tried to get us to give him one and make it a game, but we told him they were gone.
We stopped DD's paci when she was 26 months. I always said I'd stop by 24 months, but I kept putting it off. We only ever did it during naps and bed time. Her language has always been advanced, so while I wasn't worried about it-she had a gap between her teeth. Once we stopped it (She gave her peci's to a friends baby, and the baby "gave" her a big girl dolly) the gap went significantly down. I had always contributed the gap due to a lip tie, but it turned out to definitely be the paci.
I have actually found that (as a SLP) the kids that are most impacted by paci use past 2 are the ones that are advanced in speaking. Because they utilize their front teeth to hold it and talk around the paci, it actually starts to impact the shape more. (I can show you a picture of a friends daughter who uses the paci constantly at 3, and how when she closes the back teeth you now see the hole where the paci goes because she now has such an open bite in the front).
In the end, you have to make the decision for whatever is best for your child-there may be consequences of any decision you make and only you know what is worth it and what's not. Good luck with whatever decision you make!
Connor turned 2 last weekend and we took it away mon night. He only had it in the crib since around 6 months, so I figured if wasn't a big deal (he never walked around with one do I really didn't think much about it).
His pedi asked if he still had one at his 2 year appt, bc she thought it was affecting his bite. I felt terrible and we decided to go cold turkey that night. When you think about it, even if it's "only" in the crib, that adds up (for us at least) to more hours than when he's awake. 11 hrs at night, 3-4 hr nap during the day.
He cried/whined about 45 mins the first night and then sttn. Nap the next day had some crying but he eventually fell asleep. He skipped nap one day last week completely (unheard of for him), but has been fine everyday since.
I think cold turkey is the easiest long term. Tougher at first, but more effective.
Whoa! I'm more impressed that your 2yo sleeps 11 hours at night AND naps 3 to 4 hours a day than anything else. My 2yo sleeps about 11 hours at night but often doesn't nap and if he does its about 1 to 1.5 hrs 2 at most!
For the girls I used to nanny for, the dentist or doctor told her that they weren't good for her and that as soon as there was wear and tear around the base of the pacifier that they needed to be thrown out. So the parents let her keep it until it was worn at the base a bit and then they cut off the nipple part of the pacifier. She kept playing with the larger part for a while after but no longer sucked on it.
I sucked a paci until I was 5. I don't recommend it, but I don't think I have any lasting psychological harm. My parents tried to bribe me to get rid of it many times, but apparently I had a stash of pacis in my dresser?
So my advice is to wean your child before she becomes a conniving little asshole. Lol
Post by hopecounts on Sept 21, 2014 10:52:05 GMT -5
I would just restrict 'may-may' to her bedroom. She'll likely get bored of being in her room during the day and will naturally self restrict to sleeptimes. And yes while it is ideal to loose it around 2 you have some leeway especially if she doesn't use it at daycare. By the time she is getting close to 3 she should have the verbal skills for you to use the 'pacifairy' or some other trick to help get rid of them with minimal fuss.
Post by thejen626 on Sept 21, 2014 13:37:53 GMT -5
DD1, we lost her binky around 14 months and it was no big deal at all, she was fine. However she started sucking her thumb and it's been awful trying to break her of that, she's 5.5 and still does it when she thinks I'm not looking
DD2 will be 2 in a few weeks. She's a total binky girl, and I'm nowhere near taking it away. She has a gross motor delay and a speech delay, and the binky is one of the only things that calms her down and makes her happy.
@starry did your little J already have her birthday? Crazy. It seems like they were just born, doesn't it?!
My dd was/is a HORRIBLE sleeper so she had her paci for sleeping until three. She didn't use it when she was awake so I didn't stress too much. And i was pregnant with her brother and couldn't function on any less sleep. Somehow she got the idea that pacis stopped working when you turn three. We had a few nights of fussing at bedtime but it was over pretty quickly. Now if I could get her to sleep thru the night in her own bed we'd be set. Good luck!
Post by brady2012 on Sept 21, 2014 14:42:44 GMT -5
I get it because mine was s terrible sleeper til we put her in a bed at 20 months. Then we had DS and I wasnt going to wreck her/our sleep. We took it at 2 yr 4 months. She only had it for nighttime sleep at that point and not at daycare etc.
She had 2 named pink and purple. She ripped pink so we had her put it in the trash. Two nights later we poked holes in purple. It didnt work right so she asked H to wash it and then declared it broken. We asked what we do with broken things and she got out of bed and walked to the kitchen trash and threw it out.
H ended up laying with her and rubbing her back that night for an hour. Night 2 she cried for about 30 minutes which wasnt bad considering her actual endurance during our 101 sleep training ventures. Night 3 we gave her a stuffed Minnie Mouse bc she was a big girl and she went down no problem.
She was a paci addict from the minute we gave it to her at a week old. She sleeps 1000 better without it, especially when she has a cold.
My advice is let it be her idea whether you break it and let her throw it away or tou go the paci fairy route. When she asked for it we asked her where it was and she would say in the trash. She definitely understood that. Also, when you do it, resolve to follow theough. There will be rough days but it will pass.
Post by loskadoodle on Sept 21, 2014 19:03:56 GMT -5
I know u said after 2 but.... Around 18m we made him keep it in the crib. Just after 2 we took it away cold turkey (we had moved him to a bed a couple weeks earlier so I wanted to wait til after that). Honestly, it was a pretty non issue. He woke up earlier and took shorter naps for a while (a month or so?) but rarely asked for it. Even now that ds2 is here and he sees them every day, he never puts them in his mouth. We took them away in July.
Post by ginkgoleaf on Sept 21, 2014 19:50:31 GMT -5
We had to go cold turkey because he started chewing through them in like 10 minutes and it wasn't safe. It really wasn't bad, I was pleasantly surprised.
I've heard of the binky fairy concept working well too.
I Think it's a good idea to start ramping it down by limiting to crib time, then naps/bedtime, then take one of those away. But don't be scared of cold turkey, sometimes it's better to just rip the bandaid off.
Post by asoctoberfalls on Sept 21, 2014 20:00:41 GMT -5
DS was 2.5 when we took it away, only because the dentist told us we had to LOL. He was a SERIOUS paci addict... we had like 12 pacifiers scattered in his crib so he could find one whenever he woke up at night. He even had preferences about which ones he liked the best. I was definitely scared of what would happen with his sleep and overall happiness when we took it away. But, it was seriously NBD. We told him one day that he had to throw the pacis away because the dentist said he was a big boy and couldn't use them any more. It never affected his sleep, and although he asked for them for about a week, he never got upset... I just reminded him that the dentist said we had to give them up, and he was fine.
Post by leonard131 on Sept 21, 2014 20:18:27 GMT -5
M turned 2 on Sat and still uses it to sleep. For a awhile a couple months ago he was getting it a lot because he was melting down so much and it soothed him. Now when he throws a fit it does nothing so it is only in his crib and sometimes on long car drives. At daycare they say he sleeps without it but they also say he never melts down so I don't really think he is the same child. We are going to try and wean soon.
Post by llamamama on Sept 21, 2014 20:27:54 GMT -5
When dd was around 3, we told her she couldn't have it anymore. She had lost her last one and we didn't buy her anymore. She cried a bit at first but was over it in about two days. She has a gap in her teeth but I think it is genetic. I had one and so does my dad.