Would you say something to daycare?

[stretchad]

DS is on an appetite stimulant that's administered 3x a day for 3 weeks at a time, then 1 week off. The unfortunate side effect is that it makes him tired. He also just started in the toddler room a couple weeks ago, and for him that meant also dropping from 2 naps a day to 1. This week, we re-started his appetite stimulant, with 1 dose administered at school. Needless to say, the kid is sleepy.

Before starting in the room, I had informed the teachers that he was on this medicine, that the side effect was that it made him tired, and that he was also dropping from 2 naps a day to 1....

Two mornings ago, his teacher told me that she would need a list of what exactly the medicine is for, and the possible side effects of the medicine that he's on...because he's "unable to participate" with the other kids. When I asked what she meant by that, she said that he was just really tired around 9:30/10am, was only consoled by being held, etc. I reminded her that he is not used to taking 1 nap a day, and that previously his morning naptime was 9:30 so I wasn't surprised about the fussiness. Top it off, he can't walk yet, and the other kids can, and I think that's an issue. Anyway, it was almost like she was questioning me giving him the medicine, or insinuating that he shouldn't be at school because he can't participate as well as the other kids. (i.e., he's harder for her)

Yesterday, his teacher mentioned that he was very tired again in the afternoon and crying a lot. She said that the guy who administers the medicine gave him the dose at 3pm. The dose should have been given at noon, right before naptime. When I asked him abut it he said he "got pulled into a meeting" and couldn't give the dose until 3pm. I told him that it's important to give it at noon so that it doesn't interfere with dosing time in the evening, and so he can sleep through the initial sleepy hit it gives him. 


Would I be out of line for saying something to the center director about these two things? I'm pretty annoyed about the second one, but the more I think about the teacher's comments a couple mornings ago the more frustrated I'm getting. But at the same time I don't know if I"m overreacting, because I'm just having a hard time with drop offs lately, and I am starting to worry he's not happy.

[Ashley&Scott]

You're not overreacting. I would be pissed, she doesn't sound like she's being understanding about the naps & meds.  I would be very upset that she was so casual about his meds being administered 3 hours late. Talk to the director.

ETA: we always have to fill out forms about meds, I wouldn't be upset about that part. Just her attitude & the "not able to participate" stuff. 

[Brie]

I think the first request is pretty reasonable. If there are subs or floaters in the room, a written explanation would be helpful to them. Also, when we send meds to daycare, we have to list what they're for, just for recordkeeping purposes.

I would be pretty upset about the delayed dose and would say something.

[speckledfrog]

Go directly to the director. The missing of his medicine is absolutely unacceptable and they need to address how they are going to prevent it from happening again.

Don't tell her a damn thing about why he needs that medicine. It's not of her GD business. My answer might be different if she wasn't being such a snatch about it.

I'd start the conversation with the director with something like, "I'm concerned about something that happened yesterday" and talk about the medicine. Then you can say you are also concerned that the teacher does not seem willing to help ease his transition into the toddler room and talk about what she said.

[stretchad]

Sept 26, 2014 15:41:08 GMT -5 Brie said:

I think the first request is pretty reasonable. If there are subs or floaters in the room, a written explanation would be helpful to them. Also, when we send meds to daycare, we have to list what they're for, just for recordkeeping purposes.

I would be pretty upset about the delayed dose and would say something.

Yes I should have clarified that we didn't start his mid-day dose until yesterday. So she was asking me about a list of the medicine side effects, what it's for, even when they weren't administering it. 

FWIW, the center does have a form that states name of the medicine, reason for giving it, dose amount, side effects signed by the doc before they'll administer it.

[speckledfrog]

Sept 26, 2014 15:41:08 GMT -5 Brie said:

I think the first request is pretty reasonable. If there are subs or floaters in the room, a written explanation would be helpful to them. Also, when we send meds to daycare, we have to list what they're for, just for recordkeeping purposes.

I would be pretty upset about the delayed dose and would say something.

It's not reasonable because she's only asking so she, a non-medical professional, can assess whether or not the medicine is necessary.  Even if there was an actual reason to know, the office should handle that information, not the teacher.  Anything beyond "appetite stimulant" is not necessary.   

[Brie]

Sept 26, 2014 15:46:08 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

Sept 26, 2014 15:41:08 GMT -5 Brie said:

I think the first request is pretty reasonable. If there are subs or floaters in the room, a written explanation would be helpful to them. Also, when we send meds to daycare, we have to list what they're for, just for recordkeeping purposes.

I would be pretty upset about the delayed dose and would say something.

It's not reasonable because she's only asking so she, a non-medical professional, can assess whether or not the medicine is necessary.  Even if there was an actual reason to know, the office should handle that information, not the teacher.  Anything beyond "appetite stimulant" is not necessary.   

FWIW, I didn't get that from the post.  Obviously, I think it depends on how it's conveyed, but I do think extra information would be helpful. 

Does she NEED to know more than "appetite stimulant"?  No.  But it might help her, and any other teachers in the room, deal with the side effects better if she does, especially if this is a regular thing.

I'm not saying the teacher is right and mom is wrong, but I get why they'd want more info.  Then again, I have a really good rapport with C's teachers and would probably talk their ear off about any medicine he's on anyway.

[undecidedowl]

I think it's reasonable for the teacher to have more information about the medicine and it's side effects so she can better care for him. Everything else would piss me off. Especially not giving the medicine on time. I think you should absolutely talk to the director to make sure they are handling this appropriately and not singling out his normal transition behavior as being a problem.

[stretchad]

Sept 26, 2014 15:57:52 GMT -5 @dontcallmeshirley1 said:

Definitely say something about the timing of the dose. At the risk of saying something flameful--given that he can't walk yet in a room full of walkers and is taking something that necessitates the need for an additional nap, would maybe holding off on the transition to the toddler room be an option?

I've been thinking about that, but it was now or never at this center and others that I looked into. I think he'll adapt, I just need the teachers to at least help the transition a bit more I think.

[lolo]

I would address the missed dose with the director.

Eta: If you feel brave enough, I would have asked the teacher (politely) why she was asking so many questions. 'This is my first time dealing with this, so pardon me if this is obvious, but can you help me understand why you are asking these questions?'

[karinothing]

Medication issue re timing needs to be addressed asap. We need forms and doctors notes for medication, so not sure that was out of line. At our center when kids transition to one nap, teachers try to keep them awake but let them nap on a mat if the kid can not handle it. Maybe they can do something like that

[cricketwife]

Okay, this required me to grab the laptop, lol.

You should definitely talk to the director.  Issue number 1 is that meds MUST be administered on time.  For comparison sake, I wanted my DCP to give Motrin to DS on Monday b/c he seemed to be having teething pain.  He was a bit out of sorts and I wanted to give them the discretion to administer it or not and she replied, "This is a legal document.  We have to do exactly what you write on it."  And we're talking about some Motrin here.  Your DCP should treat all drugs with the same seriousness.

The other issue is him "not being able to participate."  I would recommend you double check your parent handbook, just so that you go in fully informed.  For example, our handbook says, at the very end of the health policies:
"Out-of-sorts" Children
A Child will be sent home for a change in behavior that severely limits the attention that other children could and should be receiving, i.e., requires constant holding and attention, inconsolable crying for a long period of time, etc. Child should feel well enough to participate in all classroom activities, including outdoor play.

I don't think the teacher should have given you that attitude, but I'm wondering if you have a similar policy and that's where she's coming from.  I can understand the need for a blanket policy like this that gives them some wriggle room b/c you can't devote one caretaker solely to one child.  That said, I think an "out-of-sorts" child is an occasional thing, not the way that they should classify your child who is on medication.  They need to work out a solution for your son and that needs to be communicated to the teacher, of course.  Our center requires that you move up on your birthday, so it's also a "now or never" situation. While I think it would be in the best interest of the child to use developmental markers, from a business standpoint I understand why this is necessary.  They have a long waitlist and knowing exactly when a space will be available is helpful to everyone.  I wonder if you DS could nap with the infants in the morning?  That decision could be made day-by-day if there's space in the infant room. I've noticed that we've had a lot of absences lately, some are health related for sure, I don't know about them all.  But depending on the size of your center, I think it's fairly likely that one child would be out on any given day, and then itwouldn't violate their ratios to have your DS go nap with the younger kids when needed.

Also, I've worked as a teacher for years and I can say that you don't have to share the details of your sons condition/medication with her, but I think it would be in your benefit to.  First of all, the more information she has, the better she can serve him.  And if you can share it in a way that elicits some sympathy for your son, even better.  To be honest, when you get the list of your students and you've got three kids with an epi pen and 2 with peanut allergies, etc. in your class, it can feel like one more thing.  (I may get flamed, but I'm just being real.  Teachers are often overwhelmed.)  It can be helpful to take a step back and remember that this is a really little person and he needs to be treated with respect and compassion.  If you can help her see that -without making it obvious that's what you're doing - I think it will go a long way for all of you. 

Good luck!  Please give us an update.