When you toddler won't be redirected...

[Deleted]

We went through that phase.
I gave a couple alternatives like you did and then ignored it.
Usually followed with something like "When you can be a good listener I will happily play X you." Repeat randomly.

If it was really bad I put her in her room and told her she could play once she calmed down.

Neither of which are positive parenting I don't think..so take that FWIW.

[Brie]

I just usually say "I know you're frustrated and I'm sorry but we can't play games now" or whatever and let him go.

Sometimes I'll go do something I know he likes in another room and he'll be curious and join me.

Sometimes he just screams for awhile. It sucks but he's fine.

[t]

I tend to ignore. Sometimes it works, but more often than not it enrages her. She will hang all over me, wanting me to pick her up. I tell her I will pick her up when she's all done crying an being sad. That works a lot of the time. Once she's calmed down, I redirect to some other activity I know she loves - bubbles outside, sidewalk chalk, taking care of her baby dolls, etc.

[speckledfrog]

In that type of situation I usually go with, "When you are ready, let me know" and then ignore. If I can tell that he has worked himself up to the point where he doesn't even know why the heck he's crying anymore I'll pick him up and sing to him to help him calm down.

[Deleted]

Oh man, I should probably start to read some discipline books...

We usually keep trying to redirect and ignore poor behavior until she's pulled herself together.

[mlt]

I ignored until and if he hit me in the middle of his tantrum (often). At that point being positive was over and he had to go in his room until he calmed down and apologized.

[zeewifeandmama]

Sept 27, 2014 8:32:18 GMT -5 @lcap said:

I just ignore those kinds of tantrums. When most of the rage has passed and she's starting to calm down, I'll pick her up, comfort her, and then redirect her attention elsewhere.

Same

[lilybug]

You did what I would do. Attempt to redirect, then ignore until the screaming stops. Sometimes if they're really flailing and hurting themselves, I will pick them up and set them on a bed/in a corner/somewhere they can flail freely. Then I just wait it out, every once in a while saying things like "When you can calm down, we can talk about what you want to play next." etc.

[Deleted]

B's younger but so far we just ignore the tantrum so long as he's not hurting himself. Occasionally I say "I'm sorry you're sad."

[leonard131]

M is impossible to redirect. I let him scream and ignore and then when he starts to come down I will give him a hug, pick him up, etc.

My biggest issue is when we are in public. I don't want to leave him to scream but then I end up holding a kicking and screaming in a football hold.

[Deleted]

The things that help the most are hardcore routines on when things like TV and tablet time happen so I can blame "the rules" (like, we watch TV after supper, so no TV between getting home and eating, or tablet is for "quiet time" after lunch).

When a kid gets ideas, though, there's not much you can do. I have used the phrase "my answer is not going to change" a lot.

[teatimefor2]

We really try to follow positive parenting. However, once the full blown tantrum starts, he gets three warnings and time out for two minutes. For my kid, they work wonders. He calms down and us typically ready to move on when his two minutes are up.

Before this, we kept trying to redirect, talk about it, hug and the tantrums would last 10 to 30 minutes and linger, now 99% of the time it's over in two minutes.

[lolo]

I think it's important to validate their feelings and help them name them. I've heard it described as 'telling their story,' which I quite like.

'I can see that you are upset. You wanted to pay games on the tablet and we can't. That's disappointing and frustrating. Do you want to do x with me or would you like a hug?' I also reassure her that I'm available if she needs help sorting through her feelings.

[gibbinator]

Usually I say something like" I'm sorry you're upset, do you want a hug. " he often says no, but ends up hugging and sobbing on my shoulder for a couple minutes.
I also frequently offer him a snack once he's calmer since bring hangry is usually the root cause of his tantrums.

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2014 9:59:23 GMT -5 lolo said:

I think it's important to validate their feelings and help them name them. I've heard it described as 'telling their story,' which I quite like.

'I can see that you are upset. You wanted to pay games on the tablet and we can't. That's disappointing and frustrating. Do you want to do x with me or would you like a hug?' I also reassure her that I'm available if she needs help sorting through her feelings.

This is important. I say things like "I know how sad you feel about not being allowed to eat cat food. It sucks to be sad." I feel like my parents didn't acknowledge my feelings a lot so I work on this.

[catbus]

Sept 27, 2014 7:42:43 GMT -5 Brie said:

I just usually say "I know you're frustrated and I'm sorry but we can't play games now" or whatever and let him go.

Sometimes I'll go do something I know he likes in another room and he'll be curious and join me.

Sometimes he just screams for awhile. It sucks but he's fine.

Basically the same. We've had similar tantrums lately and they're exhausting.

[catbus]

Sept 27, 2014 9:51:11 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

The things that help the most are hardcore routines on when things like TV and tablet time happen so I can blame "the rules" (like, we watch TV after supper, so no TV between getting home and eating, or tablet is for "quiet time" after lunch).

When a kid gets ideas, though, there's not much you can do. I have used the phrase "my answer is not going to change" a lot.

This is why I love Kindle Freetime. We set it for the amount of time we want to allow, and then it just turns off when that time is up.

And for TV, we watch everything through the Roku stick with the remote control app installed on our phones; we have clandestine control of the shows from anywhere in the house. Again, to E it appears that the TV just turned off by itself. 

[pinkpinot]

My kid is younger but I ignore. Sometimes I walk away and pick up a book or a toy and he'll come and join me. Sometimes my h comes home from work and we're both crying because sometimes toddlers suck every ounce of life out of you.

[Deleted]

Sept 27, 2014 10:19:46 GMT -5 catbus said:

Sept 27, 2014 9:51:11 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

The things that help the most are hardcore routines on when things like TV and tablet time happen so I can blame "the rules" (like, we watch TV after supper, so no TV between getting home and eating, or tablet is for "quiet time" after lunch).

When a kid gets ideas, though, there's not much you can do. I have used the phrase "my answer is not going to change" a lot.

This is why I love Kindle Freetime. We set it for the amount of time we want to allow, and then it just turns off when that time is up.

And for TV, we watch everything through the Roku stick with the remote control app installed on our phones; we have clandestine control of the shows from anywhere in the house. Again, to E it appears that the TV just turned off by itself. 

Which will work... for a while... but my kid would see through that in a hot second.

Kids are smart.