Disappointed in wedding pictures.

[ashbridemd]

Are there any plus size women out there who were totally ashamed of how they looked in their wedding pictures? UGH. Like....I look so happy in all of them. But my face has like 10 chins. And I feel embarrassed to show people. I look at them and think...What the hell does he see in me? Why would he want to marry someone like me? He is a nice looking guy, and could have any woman he wanted. I feel like he deserves so much more.

Did anyone lose weight, and then do like a 1 year anniversary shoot or something? I was thinking about doing that but am dreading the thought of dieting and working out. I love food, and the Binge Eating Disorder does not help.

Sorry...Just mostly venting I guess.

ETA: I realize my first sentence may have come across the wrong way, and as insensitive. I didn't mean that all women should be ashamed about being plus size. I was just wondering if there were any who felt that way, and if so, how they cope with important photographs like wedding pictures.

[TrickyBob]

I do and always planned on losing weight and redoing them. But, everyone in our families always commented on how truly happy I looked that I figured OTHER people saw the beauty, even if I didn't.

Does it bug me? Sure. But at the same time, in that stage of my life I was what I was and had to brace that.

[SmartyCat]

Well, two things - one, I definitely know the sting of looking at photos and thinking "wow, I'm taking THAT face/body/hair/whatever out in public?" It hurts, and sometimes I wish for a do-over when I feel more photo-worthy.

But when I look at your photo, I see young, beautiful and happy. And your DH's expression says "man, I'm a lucky guy".

[sparkythelawyer]

Focus on how happy you look. That's more important than how many chins you see anyway.

[CurlyQ284]

I've never been thin but that's not what bothered me about my wedding pictures. My hair was down and curled. It got all jacked up between the salon and pictures and no one told me. We did our pictures before the ceremony and between pictures and ceremony DHs cousin fixed it but about 1/3 of my pictures are wasted. The others are ok with the angle or whatever but I'm still pissed that out of dozens of friends and family and two photographers no one freaking said a word.

I didn't consider doing a re-do. I would always think of them as my fake wedding pictures, you know?

[flamingeaux]

Remember, you will always be your own worst critic. You will see flaws because you know "they're there". I promise you that when anyone else looks at your photos all they'll see is how happy you looked. Any time you look at your photos and feel disappointed in something about your body, find something that you do like. "Man, you can really see my double chin in this one, but wow my hair looked fabulous or wow my eyes are really sparkling in this one."

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using proboards

[kwynn]

Sept 27, 2014 23:16:39 GMT -5 CurlyQ284 said:

I've never been thin but that's not what bothered me about my wedding pictures. My hair was down and curled. It got all jacked up between the salon and pictures and no one told me. We did our pictures before the ceremony and between pictures and ceremony DHs cousin fixed it but about 1/3 of my pictures are wasted. The others are ok with the angle or whatever but I'm still pissed that out of dozens of friends and family and two photographers no one freaking said a word.

I didn't consider doing a re-do. I would always think of them as my fake wedding pictures, you know?

As a wedding photographer, I hate when this happens. I sometimes *do* notice that an all-down do is not staying in at all or is messed up, but I can't say anything - because it will only lead to hurt feeling and a very delayed day - and sometimes the issue can't be fixed at all if hair styling has already left.

Then you are left with a bride who *knows* her hair looks jacked up. And is off in the bathroom trying to fix it for 15 minutes when time is ticking away on the photos.

I'll instead just try to pose her where it doesn't look that bad (minimize) and try to do what I can as far as smoothing, etc.

[Deleted]

I have lost about 50 lbs since our wedding and have mentioned to H that I would like to redo our whole wedding but it was mostly as a joke. Do I wish I was thinner in my wedding pictures? Sure but they document a time in my life and that is what I looked like. I was happy and in love and H loved me. I wouldn't change that.

My photographer admittedly did some airbrushing on shots it looked like I had an extremely double chin or something but overall I like the pictures because they remind me of how I felt on that day. I would like to get professional pictures done of H and I but not 'redo' wedding pictures, just so I have more recent pictures of use.

[stacyb1983]

I felt this way about my wedding pictures. I was so into planning and had very specific expectations of how I wanted things to look. Don't feel bad for wanting them to look a certain way. This is really common and there are things you can do.

I bought photo editing software and was able to tweak my picture some. I know that is superficial and vain. It didn't make a huge difference but it made me feel better. Do you or someone you know have photo shop?

Could you do a couples photo shoot in your dress? You don't have to wait a year. I know people that did a re shoot shortly after their wedding because their pictures didn't turn out well. Life has a way of taking over and things like wedding photos take a back seat. Maybe if you explained your concerns to the photographer they could be more mindful of the angles they are using. There are definitely ways to take photos that are slimming and flattering.

7 years later my wedding pictures don't bother me as much. I can see past my chunky arms and my dress bunching in weird places because I gained 10 lbs right before the wedding.

[rightawaynow]

I was extremely overweight on my wedding day and I thought I hated the pictures, but the reality was I hated me. I married my best friend, a man who was amazing, but that I didn't really love. Notin the way a wife needs to love a husband. Four years later, I had gastric bypass surgery and lost over 200 lbs. The first time I zipped into a size 8 I thought I would finally feel beautiful. I didn't. The problem was not the number on the scale, or how many chins I thought I had in photos, it was me. I never gave myself permission to love me as I was. I went to therapy and started going to OA meetings. I also started working out, not to lose weight, but to feel strong, it took a long time, but today the number on the scale is not what determines whether I feel beautiful. I honestly love a picture of me at nine months pregnant, huge and swollen, because I can look in my eyes and see happiness and peace. Today I can appreciate my body because it is healthy and strong and it doesn't matter if my skinny jeans fit that day or not. I say all of this, not to reflect on your marriage, but to say, give yourself permission to love the way you look and to be happy. I spent way to many years avoiding pictures because I never liked what I saw, it was like I was erasing myself from my life. I thought I was doing it because I didn't want to see how big I was, but really what I didn't want to see was my unhappiness. You just got married, you clearly love your husband, look at those pictures and see them s others do, full of beauty and joy.

[Saint Monica]

Congrats on your wedding.

Look at yourself through the same eyes you view your DH with.

[Saint Monica]

I also wish you haven't been such an unrepentant bitch here in the past bc I want to say many other nice things.

[blondemoment123]

I don't particularly care for my wedding pics, but I'm bigger now than I was 3 years ago. ::sigh::

[vicky]

Sept 28, 2014 9:11:12 GMT -5 Saint Monica said:

I also wish you haven't been such an unrepentant bitch here in the past bc I want to say many other nice things.

You are really the best.

[joshlyman]

For a long time I hates how I looked in my wedding pics. HATED. But as time as passed and I learned to really love ME I love the pics too. I am not a size 2, but I look happy. And so does everyone around me. And despite not being skinny per societies definition, I think I look really pretty.

It's been 8 years and taken a lot of personal growth to get there, and I am not going to lie and say I never see a pic of myself and think "ugh", but learning to love me for me has made a huge difference.

[Deleted]

Work on being attractive on the inside and that will show in how you look at yourself and others.

[Deleted]

Can't they airbrush them?

[TC]

I will admit that I do not enjoy the idea of people outside of family seeing our elopement pictures that show my whole body, and luckily we had a lot to choose from that didn't. But ultimately, a lot of our pictures are flat out hysterical because the entire day was a disaster that we just tried to roll with, and in the rest we both look so content. That's what matters. I didn't get many comments on how beautiful I looked, but I get endless comments on how peaceful we look and I'm SO glad that is what was captured.

Also, please take note at how awesome ML is for being kind and sharing with you. Because really.

[cheeseandcrackers]

i'm shocked people are responding to this and being so nice, lol.

[flex]

I think people are being nice because a continually bitchy person is someone who is an unhappy person inside. She's admitting she's unhappy with herself, and to me, that explains a lot about her behavior. I feel sorry for her.

[Deleted]

You are a gorgeous bride, & since I have the memory of a goldfish I can't remember the bitchy things you have said ( your post count is sorta low though so you must have a high bitchy to post ratio)

[ashbridemd]

Thanks for the relies, guys. Really..Thank you. I also wish I had done and said things differently in the past. But I'm working on myself now. I can never take back anything that hurt anyone in the past, but I can definitely do my best to be better in the future.

Thanks again, I feel better =)

[mcc]

Sept 28, 2014 18:10:29 GMT -5 ashbridemd said:

Thanks for the relies, guys. Really..Thank you. I also wish I had done and said things differently in the past. But I'm working on myself now. I can never take back anything that hurt anyone in the past, but I can definitely do my best to be better in the future.

Thanks again, I feel better =)

Your picture is really nice but don't lie to yourself about trying to be nicer. You were spewing venom on SO just last week and got called out on it accordingly. Using another poster with a less than perfect backstory as the your punching bag doesn't justify being rude when you're apparently trying to work on yourself.

[ashbridemd]

Some people like Liu, some people don't. I happen to think she is utterly ridiculous and infuriating. She had a thread on ML a few months back where people said nothing different than what I was saying. So I don't even want to hear it. She reminds me so much of my ex-best friend and it is so grating.

Just because I am trying to work on myself doesn't mean I am going to sugarcoat what I really feel about someone who is making crazy decisions like Liu.

[ashbridemd]

Maybe I should, but then I would just feel like I am being fake. And that is one thing I am not. Why lie to someone? I suppose I could follow the golden rule, but like I said....She reminds me of my Ex-best friend and it really is infuriating.

Don't want to hijack this thread and make it about something that it's not. Just wanted to say thank again for those of you who shared your personal stories!

[jinkies]

You can state your opinion while still being kind.

Phrasing things gently does not mean you are being fake.

It means you are an adult capable of taking other peoples' feelings into account.

I actually have no idea what you said or to whom. But usually when someone is saying they aren't going to be fake, it's because they want a blank check to be a snatch.

[tictac]

I'd care ... but I've seen enough to know that you REALLY suck as a human being. So I don't.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7ArSfCTvMA

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

Ash, FFS you may not like Liu, and yes she frustrates me too. And a lot of people. But 1. you wandered into SO LITERALLY ONLY TO BITCH AT HER, and 2. You pointed out some flaw of hers in a thread that had nothing to do with what you were calling her out for. Goddamn it. Nobody will ever believe you about wanting to be better and do better because you refuse to see where you were totally out of line and a raging assface.
If you want to call someone out, do it when it is warranted. Do not creep on someone else's home board just because you dislike her and attack her with your random hate tourettes. You're so full of shit your eyes are brown.

[karmasabiotch]

I was much heavier in my pictures. It's been almost 10 years now and the way I feel now is that it was who I was back then and not who I am now. I'm okay with it, pictures are a snap shot of life at that moment. No regrets. I s forward with no regrets.