Guise. My kid has a rash on his

[iamali]

Penis.

Apparently from not washing it appropriately (that's my best guess).

I tried to explain, with my finger as an example, how to wash it.

HALP.

@cse1960

Sent from my defective S3.

[speckledfrog]

How old?

[Deleted]

Lol. So...was there smegma?

[iamali]

Sept 29, 2014 21:43:11 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

How old?

10

Sent from my defective S3.

[MWOS]

maybe buy him his own bottle of lotion?

[iamali]

Sept 29, 2014 21:46:29 GMT -5 MWOS said:

maybe buy him his own bottle of lotion?

::faints::

Sent from my defective S3.

[isabel]

That sounds uncomfortable for both of you.

[MWOS]

Sept 29, 2014 21:46:57 GMT -5 iamali said:

Sept 29, 2014 21:46:29 GMT -5 MWOS said:

maybe buy him his own bottle of lotion?

::faints::

Sent from my defective S3.

presumably he's  been cleaning his penis effectively for quite some time now



welp, that's something I never thought I'd type. Sorry, RIP.

[Muddled]

Sept 29, 2014 21:46:57 GMT -5 iamali said:

Sept 29, 2014 21:46:29 GMT -5 MWOS said:

maybe buy him his own bottle of lotion?

::faints::

Sent from my defective S3.

Check in his socks for evidence.

Eta- his dirty socks

[Deleted]

Sept 29, 2014 21:43:16 GMT -5 @arya said:

Lol. So...was there smegma?

I really wish I hadn't googled smegma. 

I am also not prepared for this stage of being a parent to a boy. omg. 

[iamali]

YOU GUYS MY KID IS 10, HE DOESN'T MASTURBATE YET.

::sticks fingers in ears::

Sent from my defective S3.

[Deleted]

Sept 29, 2014 21:49:29 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

AH. In this case, very matter of factly. Very briskly sympathetic. Do not look him directly in the eyes.

"Those rashes are no fun. When you wash, be sure to rinse really well; leftover soap can make your skin break out anywhere so you don't want any left on. Maybe we need to get you some hypoallergenic wash, so this won't happen anymore. Here's some hydrocortisone cream, put that on; it's good for getting rid of the itchy part of a rash."

If he's uncircumcised and it's under his foreskin, just tell him "Oh, that can get itchy in there, can't it. Be sure to pull the skin back when you wash, and don't leave a single soap bubble under there, rinse really well with clear water. If that does not help, along with the cortisone, let me know and we'll ask the dr. This happens with a lot of boys when they're growing up."

Just as though you were talking about a zit on his face.

Uhm. SueSue can I rent you out for when E starts needing these talks?? Because I am not prepared for this. lolol

[Muddled]

Sept 29, 2014 21:52:36 GMT -5 iamali said:

YOU GUYS MY KID IS 10, HE DOESN'T MASTURBATE YET.

::sticks fingers in ears::

Sent from my defective S3.

Of course he doesn't.

Heh, heh.

[speckledfrog]

Sept 29, 2014 21:59:40 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Sept 29, 2014 21:53:02 GMT -5 @utahlove13 said:

Uhm. SueSue can I rent you out for when E starts needing these talks?? Because I am not prepared for this. loll

Don't blink an eyelash. Brisk and empathetic. You have got this. 


I imagine it is MUCH easier than teaching a hormonal 13 yo girl to use a tampon. 

What?  No way.  There's a picture in the box.  Have at it, chica.

[readyin07]

Oh jeez.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

Sept 29, 2014 21:59:40 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Sept 29, 2014 21:53:02 GMT -5 @utahlove13 said:

Uhm. SueSue can I rent you out for when E starts needing these talks?? Because I am not prepared for this. loll

Don't blink an eyelash. Brisk and empathetic. You have got this. 


I imagine it is MUCH easier than teaching a hormonal 13 yo girl to use a tampon. 

My mom never taught me! I had my period for my senior prom, so I figured it out on my own. VISUAL LEARNER. ThAnks for the instructions, tampax!

[stellas]

Sept 29, 2014 21:46:29 GMT -5 MWOS said:

maybe buy him his own bottle of lotion?

I miss Sara!

[iamgrace]

Sept 29, 2014 22:10:15 GMT -5 @smace said:

Sept 29, 2014 22:03:50 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

What?  No way.  There's a picture in the box.  Have at it, chica.

I have HORRIBLE memories of this. AND THOSE PICTURES ARE MISLEADING. I remember not knowing to push the plunger and walked around with the plastic applicator up my vagina thinking "this is not comfortable. this cannot be right".  My mom had to show me. 

I am---glad I get to bypass this part. lol.

OMG I did this too. It was...not comfortable.

[Saint Monica]

Sept 29, 2014 21:49:29 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

 Do not look him directly in the eyes.

d.e.a.d.

[whitemerlot]

@cse1960 I'm going to need a commitment that you're still going to be posting for the next 20 years or so because my kids are toddlers and I will need some advice.

[Deleted]

Sept 30, 2014 7:37:32 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Sept 29, 2014 21:59:40 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Don't blink an eyelash. Brisk and empathetic. You have got this. 


I imagine it is MUCH easier than teaching a hormonal 13 yo girl to use a tampon. 

My mom never taught me! I had my period for my senior prom, so I figured it out on my own. VISUAL LEARNER. ThAnks for the instructions, tampax!

I wore a pad until I was 22. 

I still prefer them. 

My Mom never used a tampon. 

[Deleted]

This thread is killing me and my worst nightmare all wrapped up in one. I hope we are still here in 5 years so I can search for @cse1960's manuscript on penis washing.

[cereal K]

Sept 30, 2014 8:20:27 GMT -5 whitemerlot said:

@cse1960 I'm going to need a commitment that you're still going to be posting for the next 20 years or so because my kids are toddlers and I will need some advice.

DITTO! I am not prepared for boys!!

[papie]

Sept 30, 2014 7:37:32 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

Sept 29, 2014 21:59:40 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Don't blink an eyelash. Brisk and empathetic. You have got this. 


I imagine it is MUCH easier than teaching a hormonal 13 yo girl to use a tampon. 

My mom never taught me! I had my period for my senior prom, so I figured it out on my own. VISUAL LEARNER. ThAnks for the instructions, tampax!

Neither did mine. She said "don't use tampons or you won't be a virgin anymore". Wtf mom?
My friend and I coached each other at the pool through the bathroom stall. "How deep do you think it needs to go?" "Omg what if it falls out?"

[speckledfrog]

I taught my college roommate to use a tampon. We went over the pictures, discussed appropriate angle, and then I sent her in with two with the instructions that if it hurt it was definitely not in right and to try again. Success. Go, Lisa!

[macmars45]

Sept 30, 2014 8:26:49 GMT -5 @savestheday said:

Sept 30, 2014 7:37:32 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

My mom never taught me! I had my period for my senior prom, so I figured it out on my own. VISUAL LEARNER. ThAnks for the instructions, tampax!

I wore a pad until I was 22. 

I still prefer them. 

My Mom never used a tampon. 

Me too. My mom never taught me how to use a tampon so I figured it out on my own. I tried them a few times in high school/college but they were super uncomfortable until after I had sex for the first time. *shrug*

[cc]

I had to live the tampon nightmare when my teenager got her 2nd period during a dance competition. It was traumatizing for both of us and is an experience I will not forget.

She is adamant about not wanting anything "in there, so I guess I don't have to worry about her going out and having sex? lol

I also have an 11 year old son and there is no way he masturbates, right?! Nooooooo

[iamgrace]

Sept 30, 2014 8:40:46 GMT -5 papie said:

Sept 30, 2014 7:37:32 GMT -5 ProfessorArtNerd said:

My mom never taught me! I had my period for my senior prom, so I figured it out on my own. VISUAL LEARNER. ThAnks for the instructions, tampax!

Neither did mine. She said "don't use tampons or you won't be a virgin anymore". Wtf mom?
My friend and I coached each other at the pool through the bathroom stall. "How deep do you think it needs to go?" "Omg what if it falls out?"

my mom told me I could use tampons "after I had babies". This led me to sneaking them, and the above mentioned situation.

And my mom's a nurse! I don't get it.

[papie]

Sept 30, 2014 8:57:01 GMT -5 iamgrace said:

Sept 30, 2014 8:40:46 GMT -5 papie said:

Neither did mine. She said "don't use tampons or you won't be a virgin anymore". Wtf mom?
My friend and I coached each other at the pool through the bathroom stall. "How deep do you think it needs to go?" "Omg what if it falls out?"

my mom told me I could use tampons "after I had babies". This led me to sneaking them, and the above mentioned situation.

And my mom's a nurse! I don't get it.

Sometimes I think we really have the same mom, lol

[Deleted]

I love this thread.