Professional vs. Married name

[Deleted]

I know I've complained about this for years, but my first and hyphenated last name is too long. With visas and everything it's too complicated and too much money to go back just to my maiden name. 

Is it super terrible to go back just to my maiden name professionally, but legally be hyphenated last name? 

I don't really know a ton of people here, so I don't think that it's going to be a problem networking wise. 

HR folks, do you have an opinion? Anyone go by 1 name professionally and another name personally? 

fiddles 

[sarack]

sometimes i wish i would have made my maiden name my middle, instead of keeping my two middle names, and then adding my longer last name. it's a pita.

[MrsPotatohead]

Professionally I go by both last names (no hyphen though just Maiden Hislastname) and legally/personally go by Mrs. Histlastname

Kelly Rippa and Demi Moore inspired me, true story

ETA: it's not that hard to pull off though because I did move my maiden name to my middle name and now have 4 names total

[Tiff]

I don't think anything is wrong with going with going by your maiden name professionally.

I changed my name to his lastname and still have (formerly maidenlastname) in my email signature, it has been over a year and I'm not ready to get rid of it on my emails yet.

[MrsPotatohead]

So basically IMO it's not a big deal and you can do whatever you want!

[Deleted]

Sept 30, 2014 10:19:48 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

So basically IMO it's not a big deal and you can do whatever you want!

Like this?  

[MrsPotatohead]

just like that

[toratoratori]

This is why I never bothered to change my name. People can call me Mrs. Dan's-last-name all they want, but legally and professionally, I'm still the same as I've always been.

[alias]

A lot of ppl do that it's fine.

I did my maiden as my middle, so I can use it or not. Now I have to figure out what to do...

[Deleted]

Sept 30, 2014 9:54:04 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

ETA: it's not that hard to pull off though because I did move my maiden name to my middle name and now have 4 names total

I did this and geez American systems have a hard time with two middle names! I'm always having to choose which initial they're going to use and such, like on my DL. On my DL I went with Original middle initial + maiden name (technically second middle name) and it helped with a lot of things, especially transitioning other accounts later.

[Deleted]

In hindsight, I shouldn't have changed my name. I'm attached to it. I thought hyphenating was going to be the best of both worlds, but it turns out it's a bigger PITA.

I think I'll go back to my maiden name, but legally (and maybe socially) keep it hyphenated.

Thanks for confirming I can do whatever I want with my name

[fiddles]

Not a problem at all. The only issue would be they need your legal name for your employment documents. At my previous employer we had a lot of people that had "known as" names. This was updated in the system. Their tax documents, pay statements, etc said their legal name. Their email address said the name they go by.

[toratoratori]

Sept 30, 2014 15:01:37 GMT -5 @ksta said:

Sept 30, 2014 9:54:04 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

ETA: it's not that hard to pull off though because I did move my maiden name to my middle name and now have 4 names total

I did this and geez American systems have a hard time with two middle names! I'm always having to choose which initial they're going to use and such, like on my DL. On my DL I went with Original middle initial + maiden name (technically second middle name) and it helped with a lot of things, especially transitioning other accounts later.

We gave C my last name as a second middle name and now everyone thinks she has a hyphenated last name. It's ridiculous.

[ilovebed]

I kept my middle name and then added a second middle name, my maiden name. I also gave Blb by middle name, which is a family name...Shaw. I feel good about my decision. I like the way my name reads and professionally I go by First. A. B. Last.

[joenali]

I just didn't change my name.

[Deleted]

Sept 30, 2014 23:26:54 GMT -5 joenali said:

I just didn't change my name.

If I had known H was going to change his mind (after 5 years) about having children, I wouldn't have either. That was the deciding factor for me adopting his last name. Its too much hassle to change BACK but honestly, its a sore spot for me.

[Deleted]

Oct 1, 2014 14:17:26 GMT -5 @ksta said:

Sept 30, 2014 23:26:54 GMT -5 joenali said:

I just didn't change my name.

If I had known H was going to change his mind (after 5 years) about having children, I wouldn't have either. That was the deciding factor for me adopting his last name. Its too much hassle to change BACK but honestly, its a sore spot for me.

I'm sorry about all of this. I know you and h have been struggling with this for a while. *hugs*

[alias]

Oct 1, 2014 14:19:41 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

Oct 1, 2014 14:17:26 GMT -5 @ksta said:

If I had known H was going to change his mind (after 5 years) about having children, I wouldn't have either. That was the deciding factor for me adopting his last name. Its too much hassle to change BACK but honestly, its a sore spot for me.

I'm sorry about all of this. I know you and h have been struggling with this for a while. *hugs*

This.

And I wouldn't have changed my name if I didn't plan to have kids. Now I'll probably keep it b/c of the kid.