To try to have a relationship with my mom. She is just so condescending and treats me like I'm a 2 year old and can't take care of my own son. She watches me feed him and interact with him and just tells me that I can't do this and I shouldn't do that. My grandma most of the time agrees with her but she doesn't treat me like a child.
And when they both start insulting my H to his face it pisses me off even more. I'm ready to just stop talking to and visiting them if they can't treat us with some amount of respect.
I haven't. I'm too much of a push over to say anything to them. H sees my blood boil a little more each time we see them and he thinks I'm just a ticking bomb that will go off on them eventually.
We agreed that we didn't want to sway E's opinion on them, since family is important us, and let him make his own decisions about them. But I'm not sure how much more of their beating I can take.
I wish my sister understood where I come from. She refuses to get in the middle of this because she thinks I over react about things when it comes to our mom. I've tried saying things in the past but she just brushes it off and doesn't listen to me. She's still mad at me that I got married at such a young age and then brought a child into the world, instead of aborting him, that needed lots of medical attention when I should have been getting a degree and not wasting my life.
Back in December 2010 when they told us we should abort and not go on with the pregnancy I had this long letter written to both my mom and my grandma about how disappointed i was with how they were handling the situation and how that was not what I needed at that time. I mentioned in it that if they couldn't support us in our decision I didn't want them to be apart of our life. I never got around to sending it although I wish I had. It may come down to that because it is just so hard to be confrontational about anything with them. If I try they turn it around and make me the bad guy and not them.
It is ok to protect him against people you feel are bad, in fact its your job as a parent. I would not feel bad telling your mom that until she treats you better that you don't want her around your son. She should not be shadowing that its ok to treat his mom like poop. You deserve more and its important that you set limits for yourself AND your son.
THIS.
I also can't imagine EVER telling someone they should abort, ever. That is totally crossing the line. I have grandparents who are mostly ok, but definitely my mom's mom is emotionally abusive. My mom tried to not bias my sister and I, but we figured it out eventually. For his sake, you need to stand up for yourself and your family, even if it's not the easy thing to do.
Hugs to you Sounders! I've had my issues with my mom, but my MIL is especially condescending and manipulative. They always find a way to try to make it your fault, but it is not. You are a great mom. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
It is ok to protect him against people you feel are bad, in fact its your job as a parent. I would not feel bad telling your mom that until she treats you better that you don't want her around your son. She should not be shadowing that its ok to treat his mom like poop. You deserve more and its important that you set limits for yourself AND your son.
I just need to bite the bullet and tell her. It's just sometimes easier to avoid it and put it off until next time. One of these times I will just have to come out and say it and stop avoiding the problem.
It is ok to protect him against people you feel are bad, in fact its your job as a parent. I would not feel bad telling your mom that until she treats you better that you don't want her around your son. She should not be shadowing that its ok to treat his mom like poop. You deserve more and its important that you set limits for yourself AND your son.