A wwnd question, very sad.

[amberlyrose]

Very sad, but I need some input.

A good friend found out her dog has bone cancer, 1-3 months to live. She's also struggling through infertility and is having to deal with losing her dog AND the IF "what ifs"
A group of us know about the dog but I only know about the IF. The group wants to do something for her, but I know she's already in an emotional place and the dog thing is just the straw that could possibly break her.

If a group was willing to do something: buy gift cards, pay vet bills, etc. what should we do?

She's an amazing person and I really wish I could buy the world for her right now.

[cuddlyevil]

You guys are good friends. I might offer to help with vet bills or to serve as a distraction after the dog is gone.

[azurely]

You're a good friend.

I think helping with vet bills is a really nice idea, and maybe some kind of memorial for her dog after he passes, like a donation to the local humane society, if she's ok with that sort of thing. Maybe you could just ask her, "what can we do?" and see what she is confortable with.

Re: the IF, I'd just be there to listen if she wants to talk. We ttc for 3.5 years and it's hell, but not always something I wanted to talk about or have someone else bring up. I liked when people who knew about our IF asked me a general "how are things going", so I could choose whether or not to talk about it. With her dog so sick, talking about her IF might be too much right now.

[tdk2]

I agree w the previous posts but also wanted to add-

Maybe she wants help doing footprints of her dog or something. I really wanted to and we did but it was like one of the saddest things ever to do. I ended up doing it the night before we euthanized and that really sucked. But I had procrastinated the few weeks we knew he had cancer before things got too bad. I didn't want to think we were really running out of time and it wasn't something I looked forward to doing but knew I wanted to have for after. She may or may not want to, but it would have been nice to have someone encourage/help me do that mentally hard task. (Physically, it also takes at least 2 ppl)

Aww. Poor friend.

Man, I miss my little buddy. And I often think about how much he helped me get through. Miscarriages were high on my thoughts of times he was there for me and helped me cope. That has to be so hard for her right now.


Eta: it was a super sad task because it was acknowledging he was dying and that he wouldn't be around soon

[flamingeaux]

Taking care of the vet bills and a little memorial are great ideas.

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[isabel]

Oh geez. The vet bills would be nice, but, frankly, there's not a lot that eases that pain. Being there for her and letting her know you're thinking of her will be huge.

We were in a similar situation with our dog last year and there just wasn't much that made it better.

Everyjuan is doing a portrait of him for me. Maybe you could have something like that done and give it to her after he's gone? Just as a reminder that you guys will remember him too.

[RoxMonster]

You guys are good friends.

I agree with the above posters that helping out with vet bills could be nice because they get so, so pricey. I also like the memorial ideas. I would take her lead on that one--find out what types of memorial(s) she wants, if any at all. I like the footprint (well, pawprint I guess) idea and plan to do that when Rox's time comes ::sob:: I know there are cemeteries where you can bury your dog, as we did that with my childhood family pet, and you could help her pay for the headstone if she went that route, etc. I would find out what her plans are for after and try to help out anyway you could with those.

[amberlyrose]

Thanks for the ideas, guys. I like the idea of us getting her a paw print memorial kit and maybe a GC to petsmart or something. I don't think she'd be down with us giving her stuff for vet bills. She's pretty prideful.

[mich1]

Contact the vet's office about the paw print. When I had to euthanize my cat, I held him while it was done and in horrible shape walking out of the office. The vet's office had a 'memorial plan' . I was on my way out of town for 3 weeks, when I got back, they gave me a bag with my cat's ashes and his paw print. I know the paw print wasn't done while he was alive.

Even after settling up the vet bill when I got home, it was awhile beforei was able to open the bag.

[kayakjenn]

I'm sure anything that you can do for her would be helpful but maybe the group can get together and see if any of you have taken pictures of her dog over the years and put those together on a flash drive for her. Many years ago after my beloved cat had died, someone who attended a party at my house house sent me prints of photos she had taken of him (before digital cameras were popular) and I cherish those. My favorite picture ever taken of him was one of those she sent me.

[Deleted]

Maybe send her some flowers and a card that says thinking of you.

[puppyluv]

Oct 12, 2014 12:04:39 GMT -5 greengardener said:

We lost our dog to osteo last fall and the best thing we did was a family photo shoot before he got really sick. Maybe offer to take photos for them or get a GC for a pet photographer.

I would also recommend sending them some kickass treats, so they can spoil him with all the yummy stuff that he probably didn't get regularly before.

This is what I was thinking. Can you set up some kind of day at a park with a photoshoot for her? Then she would have some nice photos to look back on or display.

[isabel]

Oct 12, 2014 12:04:39 GMT -5 greengardener said:

We lost our dog to osteo last fall and the best thing we did was a family photo shoot before he got really sick. Maybe offer to take photos for them or get a GC for a pet photographer.

I would also recommend sending them some kickass treats, so they can spoil him with all the yummy stuff that he probably didn't get regularly before.

Oh, I love this idea. I really cherish the photos I took of him even when he was sick.