WE go to court today for the emergency order to have visitation revoked. We asked that the court NOT notify XH so I know he won't be there. I'm still a little nervous about the repercussions of what he may do when he hears about it.
He Face Timed with P last night and so I got to see how he looks (I supervise the FT). He looks AWFUL. I took three pics of him because he looks so drugged out. He also had some random woman there who talked to P on FT. Ummm, wow. He also has not paid CS. He said he was en route on his motorcycle yesterday and turned around because it was raining but "will pay it today". I don't believe him. That's druggie talk.
I've decided that until we do a behavior plan for P I'm not going to have him go back to school. I kind of feel like I'd just be "sending him to the lion's den" and they're just looking to suspend again, and I also cannot even focus on work when he's there. I just am waiting for the call. I'm hopeful we can all powwow for the behavior plan on Thursday afternoon since that's when P's counselor will be available.
I'm also contemplating keeping him back one year since he's young anyways for K. Maybe he's just not ready.
I have not made ANY decisions about my job situation and am just "pushing on a few doors" as I discussed with P's counselor. I think I would be a fool not to at this point. Merrill headhunted me and that would be a local job although I'm not sure they're the right fit, after talking with my mentor who used to work for them.
I'm just trying the best I can to stay optimistic and to know that this time will pass and we'll get through it. If anyone can send good thoughts our way that would be great
Post by callunafirefly on Oct 15, 2014 8:04:42 GMT -5
Just a quick comment on holding him back a year. The summer before ds turned 5 we lived in PA and the cutoff for K was August 15 or something...over that summer we moved to VA where the cut off was Sep 30. He was to turn 5 Sep 7. I didn't end up sending him because I found out the cut off date was Sept too late, and also I didn't think he was prepared or emotionally ready. I am so glad I waited. He just turned 13 and some of his friends with Sept birthday's just turned 12. So he's older, but it doesn't matter. I think it would be wise to keep him back so he has an extra year and also because boys are less mature anyway.
Just a quick comment on holding him back a year. The summer before ds turned 5 we lived in PA and the cutoff for K was August 15 or something...over that summer we moved to VA where the cut off was Sep 30. He was to turn 5 Sep 7. I didn't end up sending him because I found out the cut off date was Sept too late, and also I didn't think he was prepared or emotionally ready. I am so glad I waited. He just turned 13 and some of his friends with Sept birthday's just turned 12. So he's older, but it doesn't matter. I think it would be wise to keep him back so he has an extra year and also because boys are less mature anyway.
This is why I'm leaning in that direction. I feel like he's just getting off on the wrong foot anyways and since he's young, why push it?
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Post by jojoandleo on Oct 15, 2014 11:30:00 GMT -5
Good vibes your way! Update us on what happens with visitation! You need to know-there are so many mom's out there who think "He is the father and deserves to see his kid" and they do NOTHING when this stuff goes on. It's not true. Providing biology to a person does NOT mean you DESERVE to see them. I am so glad you are there for P and showing him he deserves better. Keeping him out of harms way even when it is a rough and rocky path.
Post by starburst604 on Oct 15, 2014 11:34:23 GMT -5
I think keeping him out of school sounds like a great option for now, and so much less stress on you! Wishing you so much luck with everything (and secretly hoping your XH drives his motorcycle off a cliff, oh did I just say that??)
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Oct 15, 2014 11:54:01 GMT -5
GL ! I'm glad that you're documenting things. PD and LE 'know' what drug abuse looks like. there was nothing more heartbreaking (for dd, not me) than having LE tell me .. oh yeah it looks like he's been using hard, again.
if P's on the younger side of 5, it might be a good idea to take him out of school for now. dd didn't attend formal preschool and she's doing fine in kinder this year. had she been a boy w/ a July bday instead of a girl w/ a July I would have held him back in a nanosecond. my mom did just that w/ my brother and his late august bday - academically he was there, socially FAR from it so he was held back a year and started kinder at just 6. no harm done.
Good vibes your way! Update us on what happens with visitation! You need to know-there are so many mom's out there who think "He is the father and deserves to see his kid" and they do NOTHING when this stuff goes on. It's not true. Providing biology to a person does NOT mean you DESERVE to see them. I am so glad you are there for P and showing him he deserves better. Keeping him out of harms way even when it is a rough and rocky path.
Yes. It's the best thing for him to not be in Ps life right now. He's had his chance and he "blew it". He's had every opportunity and he seems to never learn. Time for the school of hard knocks.
Good vibes your way! Update us on what happens with visitation! You need to know-there are so many mom's out there who think "He is the father and deserves to see his kid" and they do NOTHING when this stuff goes on. It's not true. Providing biology to a person does NOT mean you DESERVE to see them. I am so glad you are there for P and showing him he deserves better. Keeping him out of harms way even when it is a rough and rocky path.
this I'm sure pisses off xh more than anything. he think he has a right to see dd ... mmmm no, as long as you choose to do XYZ no I won't let you see/talk to her. I was once told my CPS, no less that they had reservations about my ability to protect dd from her dad -- ever since then her protection from xh has been my top priority since his post rehab relapse.
Good vibes your way! Update us on what happens with visitation! You need to know-there are so many mom's out there who think "He is the father and deserves to see his kid" and they do NOTHING when this stuff goes on. It's not true. Providing biology to a person does NOT mean you DESERVE to see them. I am so glad you are there for P and showing him he deserves better. Keeping him out of harms way even when it is a rough and rocky path.
this I'm sure pisses off xh more than anything. he think he has a right to see dd ... mmmm no, as long as you choose to do XYZ no I won't let you see/talk to her. I was once told my CPS, no less that they had reservations about my ability to protect dd from her dad -- ever since then her protection from xh has been my top priority since his post rehab relapse.
This is my ultimate driving force. I would never want my integrity as a mother questioned.
Thinking positive thoughts for you, achase!!! I'm sorry you're in a rough patch. I think you're being very proactive with the situation and doing everything you can to help your son!
So just got done with court. The judge hasn't looked at the paperwork because of it being in my previous county. We explained how we were filing everything at once because of the severity of it so now he'll look at everything tonight and make a ruling tomorrow. Worst case scenario is well have to file the same paperwork in my previous county.
WE go to court today for the emergency order to have visitation revoked. We asked that the court NOT notify XH so I know he won't be there. I'm still a little nervous about the repercussions of what he may do when he hears about it.
He Face Timed with P last night and so I got to see how he looks (I supervise the FT). He looks AWFUL. I took three pics of him because he looks so drugged out. He also had some random woman there who talked to P on FT. Ummm, wow. He also has not paid CS. He said he was en route on his motorcycle yesterday and turned around because it was raining but "will pay it today". I don't believe him. That's druggie talk.
I've decided that until we do a behavior plan for P I'm not going to have him go back to school. I kind of feel like I'd just be "sending him to the lion's den" and they're just looking to suspend again, and I also cannot even focus on work when he's there. I just am waiting for the call. I'm hopeful we can all powwow for the behavior plan on Thursday afternoon since that's when P's counselor will be available.
I'm also contemplating keeping him back one year since he's young anyways for K. Maybe he's just not ready.
I have not made ANY decisions about my job situation and am just "pushing on a few doors" as I discussed with P's counselor. I think I would be a fool not to at this point. Merrill headhunted me and that would be a local job although I'm not sure they're the right fit, after talking with my mentor who used to work for them.
I'm just trying the best I can to stay optimistic and to know that this time will pass and we'll get through it. If anyone can send good thoughts our way that would be great
You may have already done this, but talk with the school about this one and maybe ask for an independent study option in the interim. I say this because like me, you send your kids to a public school in our state and there are some regulations regarding how many "truant" days a kid can miss and those are basically defined as anything that is not sick unless arrangements have been made with the school. Truant days above the max can result in fining the parents. You don't want that both for financial reasons and for custody battle reasons. Currently in the custody battle you have zero strikes against you, and I have a feeling if a truant situation occurred ex and his lawyer would totally latch right on to that. Let me see if I can find the exact definition of truancy, per the state, in the online parent handbook and I will cut and paste.