I know, it came up on my Facebook feed and I lost it. I was adopted young but had a horrible childhood. The part about no one loving you, not even my birth mom was something I cried about often as a child. After reading this, I have to be somewhat grateful for the safe, albeit dysfunctional home I grew up in. I guess it could have been worse.
The most frustrating thing is that all the comments are about how expensive adoption is. But adoption of older kids through foster care isn't expensive at all. I wonder if people were more informed if it would make a difference.
My heart breaks for the older children who are waiting to be adopted. Now I'm teary, so here is a good story.
My mom worked with a man. This man was never married. When he was in his early 40's he began to foster a 12 year old boy. I'm sure the boy thought it was just another foster parent. Someone to care for him for now. One day they were on the way home from a family party. In the car the man asked the boy if he would like it if he adopted him, and they would always be a family. He adopted him, and it was the 2 of them. When the son got married he took the dad for a holiday with his wife.
The most frustrating thing is that all the comments are about how expensive adoption is. But adoption of older kids through foster care isn't expensive at all. I wonder if people were more informed if it would make a difference.
I was actually just wondering about this after reading that. I've thought a good bit about adoption. We want a second kid, but I'm not sure I want to go through pregnancy again. But the cost has always been a deterrent. I could definitely see looking into adoption of an older child one day.
It actually reminds me of my dad. He was orphaned at 4 and his grandparents packed up all his stuff and took him to a boarding home for orphaned boys. He had no idea they were leaving him there. He thought they were going on a trip or something.
The thought of him watching them drive away after just losing his mom, dad, and sister absolutely breaks my heart.
Man. At some point while reading this I was trying to convince myself that this was a somewhat exaggerated account, which is shameful and sad because we all know it's not. Even the thread about parents not being proud of you was tough for me. This level of hurt in a child is almost too much to process.
My xH went through the system. It was terrible for him but then someone kept him. He didn't adopt him, but he did keep him throughout his high school years, put him in treatment for addiction, saw him through arrests and lots of other stuff for which he could have given up on him. He's the reason my xH persevered, went from an F student to an A student, and eventually got his PhD from Berkeley.
That man was amazing and I will never forget him. He was the best man at our wedding.
I can't even read it. I have just read what is here.
We cannot have our own kids and have been thinking more and more about adoption. I do want to adopt a baby but I have been thinking more and more about adopting an older child via foster or what not at some point too. I hope we are able to.
My heart is broken for this child and many others. H and I know that we want to adopt. It is a terrifying feeling. I've never said this to anyone but H.
I've known too many kids like this. I know the sweetest girl who has been through over ninety homes in ten years. Three different families adopted her and returned her, including the family who also adopted (and kept) her two biological sisters. Unfortunately Stephen's story is very common. I wish our society was more capable of giving the love and support every child needs.
Post by Miss Phryne Fisher on Oct 21, 2014 7:43:14 GMT -5
Just the thought of my own little boy clutching his report card in hopes that it would make someone love him is breaking my heart. This is an awful and likely all too common story.
How awful. Like 05heel said, I was upset at the posters who didn't know if their parents were proud of them. This is beyond horrible.
I sometimes look through the MD website for older children who are free to be adopted, but it's scary, you know? I don't know that I would be able to provide the right environment for many of the children who have seen things I can't begin to imagine. I wish there was information on the site about some of the support and help that might be available to families.
This reminds me of a Mitch Albom quote that has (and will) always stay with me:
“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.”
I've known too many kids like this. I know the sweetest girl who has been through over ninety homes in ten years. Three different families adopted her and returned her, including the family who also adopted (and kept) her two biological sisters. Unfortunately Stephen's story is very common. I wish our society was more capable of giving the love and support every child needs.
Adopted and returned 3 times? That poor little girl. How does that happen? Damn, I can't even imagine.
My brother and I are both adopted (as infants) and I know that "returning us" was never an option for my parents (even with the all the tears and heartbreak and stress and pain my brother put them through).
I'm single. Almost 40. And in a position to help one of these children, but I'm too scared that I'm not up to the challenge. So now I feel like a selfish heartless person.