When kids make you wish the earth could swallow you whole:

[datass]

[livinitup]

I'm guessing that tonight wasn't this guys first loud whisper about his teeth.

I mean, he works around a lot of kids, all the time, right ?

[Deleted]

We were walking into a restaurant the other day and there was a group of old men walking in front of us. One of the men were walking much slower with a limp. T said loudly, "Mom! Look at that slow man! He is so slow!" The men chuckled and I wanted to die right there.

[readyin07]

Oh God. This could be ds2. He just blurts whatever comes to mind.

[nancybotwin]

I completely understand.

DD and I were in a store the other day when a man with long hair and man-boobs walked past us. "Look! Look at that woman, mommy! Why does she have a beard?"

[appleaday]

When I was 3 or 4 I was guilty of announcing to an entire gathering of family/friends hosted by my grandmother, "Why are that man's ears so big? Why does he have big ears?!". The said man was one of my grandparents' friends but my mom swears she still died on the spot.

[Deleted]

Embarrassing kid proclamations are never fun. Ugh.

I ran into some old colleagues waiting for a dinner table one night. DD was playing with their kids while we were all waiting on our respective tables. She crashed into our adult circle and said, "HEY MOM! I TOTALLY JUST TOOTED INTO MY PRIVATES! THEN IT CAME OUT LIKE A PRIVATES TOOT!" I wanted to melt right into the floor. I gave her the "that's-cute-now-run-along" pat on the back and had to laugh it off. 

[bex1973]

Oct 21, 2014 20:13:57 GMT -5 @smace said:

livinitup, I assume he's been there a while b/c he was talking about book fairs of years past. But WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE MY KID!? Shh, child. zip it!

He's also hurt my mom's feelings with "grandma, why are your teeth yellow". dude. Sttttoooooooooop. lol.

Well he's big on teeth - maybe he'll become a dentist & make lots of money to make up for the mortification?

[roxysoxy]

I can completely relate. DS does this too and has embarrassed me many times. We have had many conversations about this and he has gotten a little better about not blurting out his every thought. 

[papie]

I am sure it wasn't the first time. SIL lost all her hair (alopecia) and people usually think she has cancer. But with little kids it's "why do you have no hair??". I swear Sophia mentions it every single time she sees her. She doesn't ask why anymore but says "I wish you had hair, it's so sad you lost your hair". Omg. Kill me.

[CurlyQ284]

Oct 21, 2014 20:31:52 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Embarrassing kid proclamations are never fun. Ugh.

I ran into some old colleagues waiting for a dinner table one night. DD was playing with their kids while we were all waiting on our respective tables. She crashed into our adult circle and said, "HEY MOM! I TOTALLY JUST TOOTED INTO MY PRIVATES! THEN IT CAME OUT LIKE A PRIVATES TOOT!" I wanted to melt right into the floor. I gave her the "that's-cute-now-run-along" pat on the back and had to laugh it off. 

LMAO

[kirra]

Oct 21, 2014 21:07:16 GMT -5 @aliciaroset said:

Looking directly at the woman in the wheelchair (who is at a perfect 3 year old height) "why don't you walk well?"
The woman was so kind and patiently answered her, but I'm still mortified. I have seen her before and if I do again j have to thank her for answering and not being offended, and apologize for my DD. Eeesh

I can only speak for myself, but I would feel awkward if I saw you again and you apologized for your daughter out of the blue.

I'm not in a wheelchair, but I use forearm crutches most of the time, which leads to lots of little kid questions (what are those things, what's wrong with your legs, why don't you just walk, will I need them, etc). Kids ask awkward questions. It's part of being a kid. I have standard answers for little kid questions. Parents apologize, I say it's fine, and life goes on.

[wildfloweragain]

We used to see the same bearded man every Sunday at wall mart. DD would alternate asking loudly if he was Santa or if he was a monster like Elmo.

...sent from my Jedi Mind.

[RoxMonster]

When I was probably 5 or 6, I was in the mall bathroom with my grandma. She had spilled something on herself and was looking for a napkin or something to wipe it off. I'm sure you know where this was going.

I loudly informed her they were selling napkins for 25 cents out of the machine on the wall and that I would go get her one. I remember a few other ladies being nearby and laughing hysterically, while my grandma told me those weren't the napkins we needed lol.

[gogreengowhite]

Oct 21, 2014 20:31:52 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Embarrassing kid proclamations are never fun. Ugh.

I ran into some old colleagues waiting for a dinner table one night. DD was playing with their kids while we were all waiting on our respective tables. She crashed into our adult circle and said, "HEY MOM! I TOTALLY JUST TOOTED INTO MY PRIVATES! THEN IT CAME OUT LIKE A PRIVATES TOOT!" I wanted to melt right into the floor. I gave her the "that's-cute-now-run-along" pat on the back and had to laugh it off. 

This just made my day.

[lurkerlou]

When I was about 5 we visited my mother's super conservative grandfather, a Southern Baptist preacher at that. At the dinner table I announced that my parents don't wear clothes when they sleep. I vividly remember the look on my poor mom's face. I also chose this dinner to shake the ice in my glass as a non-verbal request for more to drink. I knew better and was probably just testing something out but I'm sure my mother wanted to send me out for adoption after that meal.

[BlackCanary]

When I was really little, my dad got pulled over driving and got a ticket. As soon as we got back home, I immediately told my mom that he had gotten a ticket.