So, if he is having trouble falling asleep, I would ditch the crib and let him look at books as long as he stays in his bed until he falls asleep. My DS has done this since he was 2 and he is almost 7. He is good at self regulating and a great sleeper. Napped until age 6. I think my son has some sensory issues and they have trouble calming themselves down. Please look into conscious discipline.
So, if he is having trouble falling asleep, I would ditch the crib and let him look at books as long as he stays in his bed until he falls asleep. My DS has done this since he was 2 and he is almost 7. He is good at self regulating and a great sleeper. Napped until age 6. I think my son has some sensory issues and they have trouble calming themselves down. Please look into conscious discipline.
I don't mind if he looks at books. He actually used to do this before he fell asleep, and I encourage it! The problem is that he won't stay in bed. I have never heard of conscious discipline - I'll look into it.
Post by asoctoberfalls on Oct 29, 2014 7:32:07 GMT -5
Last night was hell. I typed up all the details, but then realized they're irrelevant. The short story is that I decided to try the super nanny technique, and proceeded in this fashion for 3.5 hours. When H got home, he stayed downstairs a while, then I went to the bathroom only to find DH had gone in DR'S room and was rocking him. He fell asleep in 5 minutes.
I was (and am) furious with H for ruining my hours of work. When I confronted him, he said he did undermine me, and he would do it again because I was acting in a manner that was cold, uncaring, and borderline abusive. He told me I should act like a mother and comfort my son.
We are at an impasse. He called this morning to apologize, but I'm not ready to accept at this point. He said he feels my methods are too harsh and is just protecting our son. I agree that locking DS in his room was not right, which is why I didn't do it again. But the super nanny method is not harsh.
Last night was hell. I typed up all the details, but then realized they're irrelevant. The short story is that I decided to try the super nanny technique, and proceeded in this fashion for 3.5 hours. When H got home, he stayed downstairs a while, then I went to the bathroom only to find DH had gone in DR'S room and was rocking him. He fell asleep in 5 minutes.
I was (and am) furious with H for ruining my hours of work. When I confronted him, he said he did undermine me, and he would do it again because I was acting in a manner that was cold, uncaring, and borderline abusive. He told me I should act like a mother and comfort my son.
We are at an impasse. He called this morning to apologize, but I'm not ready to accept at this point. He said he feels my methods are too harsh and is just protecting our son. I agree that locking DS in his room was not right, which is why I didn't do it again. But the super nanny method is not harsh. Who knew sleep issues could be so polarizing?
Um... I guess you didn't read any other posts on sleep issues before you had them? It's a very polarizing issue, both on the internet and in marriages. You definitely need to get on the same page and decide what you're comfortable with. Consistency is important, but it's also important to tailor the answer to your child and your husband.
I had a really rough night, too (up 2 or 3 times with DD and once with DS). It's hard to be tired. It's hard to be strategic when you're tired. It's hard to deal with the adult issue while trying to deal with the kid issue. Hang in there, and try to have a coherent talk with your DH before tonight. We've done the everything with DS, and I wish I could pull a magic solution out of the air for you. Sleep issues are not easy to solve.
I have read a lot about sleep issues... it's just never been a polarizing issue in my own marriage. This kind of came out of left field for me. DS was a TERRIBLE sleeper as an infant. We did extinction CIO when he was 9 months old (tried Ferber but the checks just upset him more), and it instantaneously transformed him into a WONDERFUL sleeper, until last week. DH and I had talked about sleep training and I thought we were in agreement that it needed to be done, so his comments took me completely by shock.
Sorry you've dealt with this with your DS. I can't imagine dealing with it for 3+ years!
Last night was hell. I typed up all the details, but then realized they're irrelevant. The short story is that I decided to try the super nanny technique, and proceeded in this fashion for 3.5 hours. When H got home, he stayed downstairs a while, then I went to the bathroom only to find DH had gone in DR'S room and was rocking him. He fell asleep in 5 minutes.
I was (and am) furious with H for ruining my hours of work. When I confronted him, he said he did undermine me, and he would do it again because I was acting in a manner that was cold, uncaring, and borderline abusive. He told me I should act like a mother and comfort my son.
We are at an impasse. He called this morning to apologize, but I'm not ready to accept at this point. He said he feels my methods are too harsh and is just protecting our son. I agree that locking DS in his room was not right, which is why I didn't do it again. But the super nanny method is not harsh.
Who knew sleep issues could be so polarizing?
I would have done exactly what your Dh did. The point is to get him to sleep and he got him to sleep within 5 minutes. Problem solved. I do think you are too harsh. Doing super nanny for 3.5 hours and locking him in his room for 4 hours isn't working for you. Have you taken all of the toys out of his room? Tried melatonin? I would not be looking at this as a discipline issue.
You sound like my H! He was like, "I was able to accomplish in 5 minutes what you couldn't in 4 hours. That means my method is right." I actually disagree with that - his method was giving in to DS and wasn't teaching him to sleep on his own. Rather, it taught him that if he resists long enough, dad will come in and help him get to sleep. This is where our impasse lies.
I have not taken the toys out of his room, but he's not playing with them. I actually wouldn't mind if he played with his toys until he was ready to fall asleep. The issue is that he's not staying in his room. I have not tried melatonin, but I am willing to try.
I looked up the conscious discipline that you mentioned in an earlier post, and the book is one that I ordered but haven't had a chance to read yet. I'm interested to see how this ties into the sleep issue. Thanks for the recommendation.