Abortion update.

[Jermys]

B-mom has an appointment on Monday morning.  Her mom (Nana) gave her $300 and I told her sister to tell her to keep what she has saved and "my friend" would take care of the rest.  I'm pretty sure Aunt A knows it's really us, but she won't say anything to her sister.  

I talked to H yesterday, and after a hellish day of being lost somewhere outside of London until almost midnight with a flat tire and a non-working GPS, he said "Absolutely we'll help.  Put it on the blue card."  Then I told him about how much it was going to cost, and he goes "That's IT??  I thought it was going to be a couple grand!"  

I married the best one.  God, I love that man.  

[Deleted]

So glad that there are people able to help.

You guys are such good people!

[falada45]

You and your H are great people.

[joenali]

You guys are awesome! And I feel super special that I've actually met you IRL.

[aussiecrush]

I really love your family.

[mrsbro]

You are amazing people.

[gretchenindisguise]

I love you and your husband.

[Deleted]

Mr jermys is the best.

[rex]

you and your h are wonderful people.

[captainobvious]

You guys are so awesome!

[Deleted]

If I wasn't already an adult, I would want you to adopt me. You guys are great people.

[ginandjucie24]

You guys are wonderfully good people.

[isabel]

I just knew your H would react like that with everything you've posted about him. I'm so glad you guys were able to get her the help she needs.

I hope when they're older, E and F recognize how awesome their parents are.

[jlt19]

You all are amazing. E and F are so lucky to have you.

[autumnfire]

<3

[appleaday]

Having a supportive partner is the best! Cheers to you both!

[vicky]

Can I come live with you guys? Because you're all perfect and I love you.

[Bad Dingo]

<3 <3 You are the best!

[Muddled]

Did you look for outside assistance at all? There are organizations set up to help in these situations.

pinksquirrel might know of an org in your area.

[kneepads]

Your family is wonderful!

[WOT?*]

You did marry a winner. Congratulations on winning the prize (both of you.)

[MixedBerryJam]

You guys deserve each other!

[sharknado]

As amazing as you two are I'm sad your H had a horrible day.

[Deleted]

That's awesome. Your family is just the best.

[Bonita]

I love you both! <3

I'm so happy that she has "someone" there to help her

[cbwm1]

I love you guys tons.

[Deleted]

I think you are amazingly kind, as is your husband, but this does raise a further issue . . . I would be so, so afraid to pay for this because you could be setting yourself up for it every year. Hell, maybe more than once/year. I don't think it is that helpful that a "friend" is paying, because based on what you've said about her capacity, she may just look to you as a problem solver whether or not she thinks it is your own money or money that flows through you.

Of course abortion is the best option here (even if someone is ordinarily against second term abortions, this is a unique circumstance) but . . . I dunno. Have you consulted an attorney about whether she can be declared incapacitated so her sister and mother can make decisions about her birth control? I doubt a court would allow them to force her into a permanent procedure, but I bet they could get a long term option in place -- and a court actually might allow something permanent given the number of pregnancies and threat to her health getting pregnant this frequently raises. I am a championship enabler, so I am not one to talk, and it is not really enabling because she is mentally compromised, but I would be careful about giving her the money without a long term solution. Of course she is not your responsibility, but unless you think you could say no next time, I would try to push hard to have her made a ward.

[Eagles]

I have a tiny crush on Mr Jermys.

[jodinia]

You both are so awesome!

[Jermys]

Oct 24, 2014 13:50:44 GMT -5 elle said:

I think you are amazingly kind, as is your husband, but this does raise a further issue . . . I would be so, so afraid to pay for this because you could be setting yourself up for it every year. Hell, maybe more than once/year. I don't think it is that helpful that a "friend" is paying, because based on what you've said about her capacity, she may just look to you as a problem solver whether or not she thinks it is your own money or money that flows through you.

Of course abortion is the best option here (even if someone is ordinarily against second term abortions, this is a unique circumstance) but . . . I dunno. Have you consulted an attorney about whether she can be declared incapacitated so her sister and mother can make decisions about her birth control? I doubt a court would allow them to force her into a permanent procedure, but I bet they could get a long term option in place -- and a court actually might allow something permanent given the number of pregnancies and threat to her health getting pregnant this frequently raises. I am a championship enabler, so I am not one to talk, and it is not really enabling because she is mentally compromised, but I would be careful about giving her the money without a long term solution. Of course she is not your responsibility, but unless you think you could say no next time, I would try to push hard to have her made a ward.

Her sister, mom, and I have talked about a more permanent solution like the IUD.  Unfortunately, I don't think her impairment is severe enough to warrant her becoming a ward.  It's incredibly frustrating.  I think this situation may have her scared enough that she would be more accepting of an IUD or a tubal.  I'm crossing all of my crossables.  

As for saying no a second time, I could definitely do that.  I think she's finally realized that everyone is done after this.