I am sad for a friend and want to help.

[caramia17]

A person I know pretty well confided in me today that her H is demeaning and (IMO) verbally/emotionally abusive. She said something like, "when my kids are grown, I am not putting up with it anymore". I don't think that she should have to put up with it now. No one should be called nasty names and belittled in front of his/her kids. No one should be made to feel less than by their partner. I am so mad and sad and heartbroken.

I am going to write her a note to tell her I think she's awesome and I am thinking of her and here for her if she needs anything. What else should I say? TBH, it is really weird for me because two other friends were commiserating that their husbands are also nasty and someone said, "There is no such thing as an easy marriage." WTF?!?!? There is a difference between uneven sex drives or a PS3 powerpoint and name calling abuse. 

WWYD?

[ssmjlm]

I think whatever you write will be appreciated. I would just offer support and let her know she's a great person who deserves to be happy.

[caramia17]

Oct 24, 2014 13:19:26 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

I think whatever you write will be appreciated. I would just offer support and let her know she's a great person who deserves to be happy.

Thank you. I am just at a loss. I don't want to be an ass or make her feel worse, but--damn--what a gut punch, you know? I teared up in the car on my drive home thinking about what that must be like. I cannot really imagine and I am sorry that she does not have to.

[hermione]

You're a very good friend.

I would probably include something about not waiting to get out because of the kids. In general, little boys grow up to become their dads and little grow up to marry them. This is not the example she wants, I'm sure.