I dread this. My kid (5.5) is a baby about playing sports - she cried all the way through every soccer practice. I keep pushing her to do it, because I know that when she's 7 or 8, if she hasn't played, she won't be able to play then and she'll be left out.
That said, specializing in a sport at 7 is ridiculous. My nephews (10 and 8) play soccer every day and all weekend, all year round. It's insane.
This is probably an asshole question, but can she just not play soccer? I have always hated soccer and I am endlessly grateful that my parents never pushed me to play a sport I hate because it would be "too late" if I changed my mind later.
She could. Trust, I'm not raising a soccer star This has been her reaction to every activity (dance, soccer, music) that she's wanted to try. I just want her to play a team sport so she could keep playing as a teenager.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I dread this. My kid (5.5) is a baby about playing sports - she cried all the way through every soccer practice. I keep pushing her to do it, because I know that when she's 7 or 8, if she hasn't played, she won't be able to play then and she'll be left out.
What you are doing is part of the problem. You are forcing her to play a sport that she clearly doesn't enjoy on the off chance that she might want to play it later and then you call her names for not liking it?
Wow.
Not every child is going to like organized sports. Forcing them is only going to push them further away and make them resentful for being forced. Knock it off.
Thanks for your helpful input. Clearly, I'm not calling her a baby to her face. She's 5. I'm a pretty nice person. No one's forcing anything - I made her finish the season because she started it, she didn't want to play the next one so she's not. I ask her periodically if she wants to try again, but she doesn't so she's not.
But again, continue to make your judgment on this. As her mom, I think it's my job to encourage her when I know something is harder for her to branch out into.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Post by mrsukyankee on Oct 27, 2014 15:48:59 GMT -5
I played D1 field hockey and I NEVER specialised. I hate the fact that parents feel they have to do this and that if you don't start at 5 you'll never make it onto the high school team. Ridiculous. Stupid. And sad. I've seen the results in high school of kids burning out, getting major injuries and eventually hating all sport by the time they are heading to university. It's time to back off. A LOT.
I dread this. My kid (5.5) is a baby about playing sports - she cried all the way through every soccer practice. I keep pushing her to do it, because I know that when she's 7 or 8, if she hasn't played, she won't be able to play then and she'll be left out.
That said, specializing in a sport at 7 is ridiculous. My nephews (10 and 8) play soccer every day and all weekend, all year round. It's insane.
Can I ask you what evidence you have to suggest that if your child doesn't start doing sports now at 5.5 they will be left out later?
What you are doing is part of the problem. You are forcing her to play a sport that she clearly doesn't enjoy on the off chance that she might want to play it later and then you call her names for not liking it?
Wow.
Not every child is going to like organized sports. Forcing them is only going to push them further away and make them resentful for being forced. Knock it off.
Thanks for your helpful input. Clearly, I'm not calling her a baby to her face. She's 5. I'm a pretty nice person. No one's forcing anything - I made her finish the season because she started it, she didn't want to play the next one so she's not. I ask her periodically if she wants to try again, but she doesn't so she's not.
But again, continue to make your judgment on this. As her mom, I think it's my job to encourage her when I know something is harder for her to branch out into.
Making her finish the season because she asked to start it is 100% different than what you described. You said you are making her do it because you don't want her to feel left out later, which is absurd.
How would she be left out for not choosing to play soccer? There is more to life than soccer. Again, you are contributing to the problem by making her inclusion be all about a sport. That's not being encouraging by continuing to try to push her to keep doing something that she has clearly stated that she has no interest in. Asking her multiple times if she wants to try again is pushing when she has been so clearly against it.
We had kids on my teams with moms like you. I've seen how it feels from the kids' side. You seriously need to stop trying to shove your square peg in a round hole.
I dread this. My kid (5.5) is a baby about playing sports - she cried all the way through every soccer practice. I keep pushing her to do it, because I know that when she's 7 or 8, if she hasn't played, she won't be able to play then and she'll be left out.
That said, specializing in a sport at 7 is ridiculous. My nephews (10 and 8) play soccer every day and all weekend, all year round. It's insane.
Can I ask you what evidence you have to suggest that if your child doesn't start doing sports now at 5.5 they will be left out later?
Lol. No evidence. I just look at the kids I teach (8th grade) and there are some who really want to play sports now because it's a social thing and they have trouble breaking in so to speak, because they don't really know how to play. And it's frustrating for them.
like I said, I'm not going all Bela Karoyli on my kids but I am encouraging them to play as kids. I think specializing in a sport as a kid is stupid, but I don't think encouraging a shy kid to try new things and get involved is a bad thing. If it is and I'm a bad mom, so be it.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Can I ask you what evidence you have to suggest that if your child doesn't start doing sports now at 5.5 they will be left out later?
Lol. No evidence. I just look at the kids I teach (8th grade) and there are some who really want to play sports now because it's a social thing and they have trouble breaking in so to speak, because they don't really know how to play. And it's frustrating for them.
like I said, I'm not going all Bela Karoyli on my kids but I am encouraging them to play as kids. I think specializing in a sport as a kid is stupid, but I don't think encouraging a shy kid to try new things and get involved is a bad thing. If it is and I'm a bad mom, so be it.
It didn't sound like you are being over the top to me . The only real thought I had was that at 5.5 your daughter might be just a bit too young to really "get" sports. She probably won't be too far behind if she started at 7-9.
It seemed like your first post really described exactly what the article was getting at--that parents fear that if they don't start competitive and start early, then the consequences are lasting and severe, and that's just not really true. But maybe I misread your post. I definitely think you have a point that at 13-15, a kid could be left behind from certain skill based sports...
Lol. No evidence. I just look at the kids I teach (8th grade) and there are some who really want to play sports now because it's a social thing and they have trouble breaking in so to speak, because they don't really know how to play. And it's frustrating for them.
like I said, I'm not going all Bela Karoyli on my kids but I am encouraging them to play as kids. I think specializing in a sport as a kid is stupid, but I don't think encouraging a shy kid to try new things and get involved is a bad thing. If it is and I'm a bad mom, so be it.
It didn't sound like you are being over the top to me . The only real thought I had was that at 5.5 your daughter might be just a bit too young to really "get" sports. She probably won't be too far behind if she started at 7-9.
It seemed like your first post really described exactly what the article was getting at--that parents fear that if they don't start competitive and start early, then the consequences are lasting and severe, and that's just not really true. But maybe I misread your post. I definitely think you have a point that at 13-15, a kid could be left behind from certain skill based sports...
You're right. And honestly, I'm about the least competitive person you'll ever meet. I played sports as a kid and I loved them because they were fun (and I didn't specialize - I played three sports in high school and two in college), and I want my kids to have the experience of playing on a team. So yes, I do want them to play sports, and I'll offer it up as an option every season. But if they're not interested, (like they're not right now), great, we'll do other stuff. I don't give any shits about them being good or getting scholarships or winning awards. I care that they know that they can be healthy and have fun and teamwork and all that jazz that goes along with sports (or band, or academic bowl, or art, most of which they are too young for at 3 and 5
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I dread this. My kid (5.5) is a baby about playing sports - she cried all the way through every soccer practice. I keep pushing her to do it, because I know that when she's 7 or 8, if she hasn't played, she won't be able to play then and she'll be left out.
That said, specializing in a sport at 7 is ridiculous. My nephews (10 and 8) play soccer every day and all weekend, all year round. It's insane.
Can I ask you what evidence you have to suggest that if your child doesn't start doing sports now at 5.5 they will be left out later?
Just from my experience, once you hit seven or so, some of the kids are really good. Last winter was Ben's second year of basketball and he wasn't a complete spaz like the year before. But got really frustrated when no one would pass him the ball, even when he was wide open. The same three kids always got the ball because they were good. We practiced with him and he was better by the end. He did a basketball camp over the summer and he's excited to play again this year.
But yeah, I can see how a kid starting his first sport at seven or eight will be left out and not enjoy playing, even in my non-competitive league.
Can I ask you what evidence you have to suggest that if your child doesn't start doing sports now at 5.5 they will be left out later?
Just from my experience, once you hit seven or so, some of the kids are really good. Last winter was Ben's second year of basketball and he wasn't a complete spaz like the year before. But got really frustrated when no one would pass him the ball, even when he was wide open. The same three kids always got the ball because they were good. We practiced with him and he was better by the end. He did a basketball camp over the summer and he's excited to play again this year.
But yeah, I can see how a kid starting his first sport at seven or eight will be left out and not enjoy playing, even in my non-competitive league.
That is a coaching issue. That needed to be addressed and if they did not start including others, then all 3 should not be on the court at the same time.
Just from my experience, once you hit seven or so, some of the kids are really good. Last winter was Ben's second year of basketball and he wasn't a complete spaz like the year before. But got really frustrated when no one would pass him the ball, even when he was wide open. The same three kids always got the ball because they were good. We practiced with him and he was better by the end. He did a basketball camp over the summer and he's excited to play again this year.
But yeah, I can see how a kid starting his first sport at seven or eight will be left out and not enjoy playing, even in my non-competitive league.
That is a coaching issue. That needed to be addressed and if they did not start including others, then all 3 should not be on the court at the same time.
Yes and no. All of our coaches are parent volunteers, with varying degrees of skill (don't get me started on the coach for 'coach-pitch' baseball who couldn't pitch for shit and hit the kids more often than not). Usually, the coach is a parent with experience playing, and his kid is usually among the best. This is the type of league where a kid will skip out for a birthday party. There were 8 kids on the basketball team at least one was absent each week. The coaches were very good about equal playing time, but once you're on the court, whether or not your teammates pass you the ball depends on your skill. Kids know who's good and who sucks.
That is a coaching issue. That needed to be addressed and if they did not start including others, then all 3 should not be on the court at the same time.
And how do you propose getting a proper, qualified coach for every sport and league out there in the US? I think you need to accept reality rather than berate people for not living up to an ideal.
LOL that pointing out that the issue she described was a coaching issue is berating someone. You don't have to be a certified coach to see that kids are being ball hogs and not including others and pulling one off the court. Don't have the balls to do that? Don't coach. And preferably don't parent either because clearly you can't handle children.
What reality am I not accepting? I'd love to know.