Post by broccolisgirl on Oct 30, 2014 12:03:27 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your family and this little boy. I would be reporting it to cps immediately. They'll have to investigate not only the boy's family situation, but also the way the school handled it. If they suspect abuse, they're obligated to report it, and that didn't happen here. I would also speak with a counselor and ask his recommendations on finding a new school.
I am so so sorry. She definitely needs to talk to someone about what happened. It's not her fault, and she didn't do anything wrong. I would be pissed at the school in general, but what would make me rage is the fact that she was so hysterical (for what was probably the whole day), rightly so, and the teacher was clueless and gave some other excuse. Poor thing. It will be hard to explain why she doesn't get to go back to school if she is innocent here. I have no advice there. Best of luck, I am sorry this happened.
Post by mamaalysson on Oct 30, 2014 12:26:20 GMT -5
I am so so sorry this happened to your family. I agree with pp's. You are NOT overreacting, at all. I don't think I could send my child back to that school either, even if the other student was no longer there. The lack of supervision would concern me, but I also wouldn't want my child to have to return to where this happened. Fresh start. I agree with contacting your pedi and looking into counseling. It may be different where you are, but I know in our area these services are often free or heavily subsidized for children who have undergone a trauma. You may need to file a police report or involve social services to make that happen, but consider it. I am just heartsick that this has happened to your child and to you. You have such a strong little girl to have known that what was happening was wrong and to then tell you about it. Hugs to all of you.
I am so, so sorry you guys are dealing with this; my heart seriously sunk just reading it. I have absolutely no clue how I would react in that situation but it doesn't sound to me like you're overreacting at all. I'm glad your DD was able to open up to you what happened and I think it sounds like a good idea to contact her pedi to see what's the best next step.
Post by Scout Numbers on Oct 30, 2014 14:31:12 GMT -5
I am so terribly sorry, OP, for all of you. Your reaction and wishes are totally understandable and appropriate. I really hope someone at the school takes this seriously and does everything they can to get help for this child.
(I'm sorry to be a lurker chiming in, but I felt like reading and then not commenting was shitty).
As someone who has gone through sexual abuse, my heart breaks for both kids in this situation. It's heartbreaking that the little boy had gone through that at such a young age, but at the same time, the other kids need to be protected. The fact that the teachers did not catch this and they were unaware for that length of time is enough to not trust those in charge there any more. I would probably be done with the school in that scenario.
I would also contact someone (not sure who) about the little boy. If the parents are sexually abusing him, then he needs to be taken away or if they're allowing him to be in situations where he gets abused then he needs to be taken away or at the very least they need to be made aware of that.
I would take her to her doctor and ask for resources for finding her a therapist who specializes in helping children that have been sexually abused. I strongly urge you to get her some counseling. Potentially since she was under the schools care, you could sue to make them pay for continued treatment. All around, I think the school failed and I can't even imagine how a teacher AND a director didn't notice two kids not in their seats. What else have they missed if they missed this.
Sorry, it posted before I was ready. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that that happened to your daughter and that you guys are having to deal with this. It's heartbreaking all around.
I don't have anything useful to add, but I am so sorry. I can't even imagine. I think you've gotten some good advice & you definitely aren't overreacting.
I just wanted to say thank you for everyone's support, suggestions & thoughts. I greatly appreciate it.
I have left a message to speak directly to DD's pedi. He was out of the office today & didn't I want to speak to a nurse then have to retell the story to the doctor. I let them know that it is a sensitive situation & I really need him to call me as soon as possible. He has been her pedi since she was born & is really good about returning calls so I am expecting a call first thing in the morning. I will see what he recommends as far as what type of therapist she needs to see & get a few names from him. I think the school is waiting until Monday for 2 reasons, 1. The Director went home yesterday afternoon sick with a bad stomach bug and 2. I think they are unsure of how to handle this situation & wanted time to speak to possibly their attorney or someone else that could give them guidance on the correct action for this situation.
I agree with all the PP that are wondering how on earth the director & teacher did not miss 2 kids at a table of 4 missing? That worries me as well. I am going to put a call into CPS as soon as I can figure out this child's last name. I agree with all of you that he needs help to deal with this & if his parents were aware of him being previously sexually abused & are concerned of a "possible" current situation then this must be a family member. I just can't fathom "thinking" sexual abuse was going on & not doing every.single.thing in my power as a parent do stop this, expose the abuser so he/she can be dealt with according to the law & get him/her help for their problem. I believe your first job as a parent is to protect your child.
Post by broccolisgirl on Oct 30, 2014 22:07:49 GMT -5
Hugs to you. This isn't something any parent should have to deal with. I think cps could investigate even if you don't know his last name. They can figure that out from the school.
God I'm so sorry your poor DD went through that. And you. And that little boy. I think you're doing all the right things. I have no advice but wanted to offer my support. Sending hugs and support your way.
God I'm so sorry your poor DD went through that. And you. And that little boy. I think you're doing all the right things. I have no advice but wanted to offer my support. Sending hugs and support your way.
This....I can't even imagine. Tons of hugs to you!
It's actually quite common, especially for younger kids, that parents don't believe their kids. Most people don't want to rock the boat because a lot of time it's a relative and no one wants to go down that road. It's sad that the boy that has to live with this. Hopefully this is a wake up call for the parents Again, I'm so sorry that huh guys have to go through this.
Post by cabbagecabbage on Nov 1, 2014 7:35:01 GMT -5
I have almost nothing I can add except that I'm horrified and saddened on your behalf. Whatever you do next, please guard your daughter's safety and her emotions. Please also follow through on reporting this to state authorities. That poor boy's life! This is truly my biggest hot button issue in parenting. I am so sorry your family is facing this.