Post by noodleskooze on Nov 8, 2014 15:52:17 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. My mom has made one bad dating decision after another since my parents' divorce. I still say something every time. I know she won't listen, but I do it for myself--to say I tried. I get it.
Oh no, I'm sorry. There are red flags flying all over the place. I hope you can at least convince your mother to protect herself financially. Did she get a life insurance payout? I'd be very worried that he's a swindler.
I'm so, so sorry. Something is really wrong here. The fact that your mom isn't being totally open about the whole thing is proof of that. I hope you're able to get through to her, to at very least get more information about this guy and his situation. *hugs and more hugs*
Oh my! I sure hope your mom changes her mind, LGW. I'm sorry for the loss of your dad. I know "they" say not to make any major decisions in the first year after such a loss. It sounds like maybe your mom isn't really thinking straight. ((((LGW)))) I'm so sorry.
I went thru something very similar with my mom. My step dad passed two years ago and she had been talking to men online and even was swindled out of some money. She told me she invited some guy she had been talking to online to come stay with her in her timeshare for a week. When she told me I flipped and then she flipped. We had a nasty fight and didn't speak for a month. She cancelled his visit and finally agreed that it was not the smartest thing to do. All I can tell you is to tread carefully. She is obviously still deep in grief and not thinking clearly. If it were me I would express some gentle concern and then let the chips fall where they may. She has obviously made it clear that this is what she wants to do. All you can do is love her and expressing concern is doing that.
No advice, as I have never been in the situation. Your fears are so valid, and my heart goes out to you and hope that you can figure this out with her. Good luck, and I wish you well.
I'm so sorry. I can totally sympathize, as my mom is not making smart choices right now and it's really starting to change our relationship. My mom only sent money to a con artist (she will not admit she was conned, claiming he is still going to pay her back;) I cannot even imagine my level of concern/freak out if she were to move someone in after a week. I'm sorry.
Post by Bree Van de Kamp on Nov 9, 2014 1:59:23 GMT -5
You are totally justified in freqking out here. I sure as hell would be. I wouldn't trust the motives of someone willing to freeload off a person they've been speaking to (over the internet) for only a week. I would expect a normal person to have more pride than that, and I wonder if he's the one who suggested it, given how out of character this is for your mom.
Fingers crossed that he's a catfish that just drops off the face of the earth before he's allowed further access into her life.
I'm so sorry, it's insanely hard to see grieving people make bad choices (my sister's husband died 4 years ago and she's made some doozies.) All you can do is let her know that you think she's making a HUGE mistake but you will always be there for her and that you've got her back. Sometimes when I remind my sister of that she steps back and thinks about what she's doing.Other times she tells me to go mind my fucking business.
She'll always know you care and want what's best for her.
Do you think an intervention with all of your siblings and maybe some of her closest friends/family? This has scam written all over it. Odds are that this freeloader is a swindler.
Been Verified is a great app that gives you one free background check a month. All you need is full name and city. If it's a common name you'll need approximate age to pull up the right one.