Too many hugs

[ladygrey]

DD is REALLY into hugging right now. At our music/ECFE classes and library storytime, she will randomly run up to kids and throw her arms around them. On one hand, it's nice that she is being so affectionate, but I also don't want her to make other kids uncomfortable (it's about a 50/50 split on the kids who hug her back and those who squirm to get away). I also really don't want her to accidentally hurt someone, plus it's cold and flu season, so maybe such close physical contact is frowned upon by other parents.

WWYD? Stopping her from hugging at all? Give her a verbal reminder to hug gently (and quickly)? Just let her be? 

[ijack]

With randoms I would teach her that you need to ask permission before hugging.

[dancingirl21]

J has started being really affectionate too. At story time on Monday, he ran up to a little girl and tried to kiss her. Full on lips going towards her face. Thankfully she backed up and he didn't pursue. I gently reminded him that we don't kiss other kids. I'm not sure that he understands since he's only 16 months.

[ladygrey]

ijack, she is 16 months and although she is starting to talk, she really doesn't have the words to ask permission. Should I ask the other parent if she can give a hug? Usually I will say to the parents, "Oh, DD has really been into hugs lately" to explain her behavior; but that's after the hugging is already taking place (or done).

[imojoebunny]

My DD was a hugger at that age. We called her the over-hugger. She still is at 8, but has learned more age appropriate social skills. It helped that she was and is a tiny person, so it generally isn't overwhelming, since most kids are bigger and could easily push her back if it went on to long. She is also really kind and empathetic and gets along well with anyone who is not mean.

Honestly, I would not worry about it. The "don't hug me's" will learn to avoid, the other huggers will hug back as they get older. I had one mom who insisted that DD not hug her child at that age. It was virtually impossible to keep DD from doing it, and we ended up not being friends anymore. The kids were just too different.

Even at 5, DS has the twin sister of a classmate who they call "the kisser" because she will chase after the other kids to kiss them.

Embrace your little over-hugger.

[ijack]

Yes, I think that's probably what I'd do and I'd mimic the behavior with her. I kind of see it how we taught the girls to approach dogs - you can't just walk up to a dog and pet it, you need to approach it and ask if it's okay to pet the dog. So if you see her going for another child, maybe hold her shoulder and approach with her and say "DD we have to ask other people before we touch their body. Little kid is it okay if DD give you a hug? She really likes to give hugs!"

[imojoebunny]

Nov 14, 2014 17:00:02 GMT -5 ijack said:

Yes, I think that's probably what I'd do and I'd mimic the behavior with her. I kind of see it how we taught the girls to approach dogs - you can't just walk up to a dog and pet it, you need to approach it and ask if it's okay to pet the dog. So if you see her going for another child, maybe hold her shoulder and approach with her and say "DD we have to ask other people before we touch their body. Little kid is it okay if DD give you a hug? She really likes to give hugs!"

When was the last time you ask an adult, "Is it OK to hug you?"  Kids have a lot in common with dogs, but this analogy gives me pause.  Kids biting each other because they get to close do not send 800k people to the ER every year.