At what age do kids stop believing in Santa?

[treedimensional]

I need some perspective here because I never believed in Santa. And Disney characters (in costume) to me were always just adults wearing costumes. It still boggles my mind that kids can't see that, but I'll play along if I have to.

[demandypants]

i think it just really varies, I am pretty sure I stopped around 3rd grade and my sister may have been in Santa is Real denial until 5th or 6th. I truly believe she lived in fear that no longer believing would end Christmas. I would just straight up tell her she was wrong (sister of the year!).

DD is in first grade and does not question Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter bunny. But she also needs reminded that scary guys in movies are really just actors pretending to be scary to tell the story.

[treedimensional]

Nov 18, 2014 11:00:50 GMT -5 demandypants said:

i think it just really varies, I am pretty sure I stopped around 3rd grade and my sister may have been in Santa is Real denial until 5th or 6th. I truly believe she lived in fear that no longer believing would end Christmas. I would just straight up tell her she was wrong (sister of the year!).

DD is in first grade and does not question Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter bunny. But she also needs reminded that scary guys in movies are really just actors pretending to be scary to tell the story.

I remember telling my whole 1st grade class there was no such thing as Santa, their parents buy all the gifts, and they were all dumbasses if they thought differently.

The teacher was FURIOUS and contacted my mother.

My mother responded by basically repeating everything I'd said.

[demandypants]

Nov 18, 2014 11:06:06 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

Nov 18, 2014 11:00:50 GMT -5 demandypants said:

i think it just really varies, I am pretty sure I stopped around 3rd grade and my sister may have been in Santa is Real denial until 5th or 6th. I truly believe she lived in fear that no longer believing would end Christmas. I would just straight up tell her she was wrong (sister of the year!).

DD is in first grade and does not question Santa, the Tooth Fairy or the Easter bunny. But she also needs reminded that scary guys in movies are really just actors pretending to be scary to tell the story.

I remember telling my whole 1st grade class there was no such thing as Santa, their parents buy all the gifts, and they were all dumbasses if they thought differently.

The teacher was FURIOUS and contacted my mother.

My mother responded by basically repeating everything I'd said.

yikes!!

Along a similar thread, DD was told by a friend at after school care if she didn't believe in god that a monster would come out of the ground and steal her.  That was a fun after school conversation to have...

[thewop]

My DD believes because I tell her it's real. She's 3, and it's fun to build her imagination and see her get excited and happy about it. The way her eyes light up and seeing how excited she gets warms my heart. What age will she stop believing? I don't know. I don't remember having a revelation about Santa not being real, so I must have been pretty young. Same with the Easter Bunny and TF. If she came home from school one day and asked, I wouldn't hold back the truth, but why not have fun with it until that day comes? I know it's inevitable. As a parent, it's fun. Building/having an imagination is important IMO. I do think it's pretty asshole-ish to call kids dumbasses for believing. Just because you didn't believe doesn't mean other kids can't. That's probably the parent in me though.

[lmdbww]

Nov 18, 2014 11:23:31 GMT -5 thewop said:

My DD believes because I tell her it's real. She's 3, and it's fun to build her imagination and see her get excited and happy about it. The way her eyes light up and seeing how excited she gets warms my heart. What age will she stop believing? I don't know. I don't remember having a revelation about Santa not being real, so I must have been pretty young. Same with the Easter Bunny and TF. If she came home from school one day and asked, I wouldn't hold back the truth, but why not have fun with it until that day comes? I know it's inevitable. As a parent, it's fun. Building/having an imagination is important IMO. I do think it's pretty asshole-ish to call kids dumbasses for believing. Just because you didn't believe doesn't mean other kids can't. That's probably the parent in me though.

I agree w/this. My DD is 6 and still believes. I'll keep it going as long as she believes and when the time comes i'll let her know. 

We have so many friends and family that do Santa differently or not at all and I think she finds that confusing, but she hasn't come right out and asked me anything about it, so until then, we keep on doing what we're doing.

[jillybean222]

my kids are 7.5, 6, and 3 and still believe wholeheartedly. i don't threaten them that they are on the naughty list and santa isn't coming, it is purely about the fun and magic.

it never occurred to me not to bring santa into my kids' lives but if i have learned anything in 7+ years it is that everyone parents differently!!!!

[InBetweenDays]

My kids are 5 and 8.5 and both still believe. DD (8.5) may question a bit, but she has never really let on. Fine if others choose not to do the Santa thing, but I would not be happy if they spoiled it for my kids.

[treedimensional]

Nov 18, 2014 11:23:31 GMT -5 thewop said:

My DD believes because I tell her it's real. She's 3, and it's fun to build her imagination and see her get excited and happy about it. The way her eyes light up and seeing how excited she gets warms my heart. What age will she stop believing? I don't know. I don't remember having a revelation about Santa not being real, so I must have been pretty young. Same with the Easter Bunny and TF. If she came home from school one day and asked, I wouldn't hold back the truth, but why not have fun with it until that day comes? I know it's inevitable. As a parent, it's fun. Building/having an imagination is important IMO. I do think it's pretty asshole-ish to call kids dumbasses for believing. Just because you didn't believe doesn't mean other kids can't. That's probably the parent in me though.

You read the part where I said I was in FIRST GRADE when this happened, right?

So I was an asshole in first grade. That doesn't mean I had no imagination, or grew up to have no imagination, or that I grew up to be an asshole. You don't have to defend your belief system to me. If I was still the asshole I was in first grade, and didn't respect a parent's right to delude their children, I wouldn't have asked this question in the first place.

[lavender444]

Sometime in 4th grade my sisters and I found the santa gifts. But we made a pact to never said a word to my parents, for fear the Santa gifts wouldn't be there the next year. To this day we still get presents from "Santa" and I love it. I really hope my kids don't say a word to me about it either when they figure it out.

[TBM]

Nov 18, 2014 15:54:10 GMT -5 lavender444 said:

Sometime in 4th grade my sisters and I found the santa gifts. But we made a pact to never said a word to my parents, for fear the Santa gifts wouldn't be there the next year. To this day we still get presents from "Santa" and I love it. I really hope my kids don't say a word to me about it either when they figure it out.

My girls (in their 30s) still get Santa presents.  Actually, all of us and anyone who is with us on Christmas morning gets gifts from Santa, because we believe in the magic of Christmas. 

We believe in Disney magic too, but that's a topic for another day. ;p


I helped out at the elementary school when my kids were little.  The principal was Jewish and didn't really get the whole Santa thing, but she wanted to make the holiday season fun for all so she asked a grandpa from the school to be Santa for the school.  The kids were used to seeing him at the school, since he picked up his granddaughter each day, but many of the little ones believed that he was Santa and would call him that.   My girls knew that he was a grandpa, not Santa, but they also knew that every person in a Santa suit wasn't the real Santa (You never know if the one you are visiting is the real one though), so I didn't really think much about it. 

On the day of the Santa event, I was volunteering somewhere else on the campus and my youngest (I think she was 4 at the time)  wandered in while the principal was helping the grandpa get ready.  My daughter was chatting with them normally, but as they got closer to being finished she started calling him Santa.  The principal knew my daughter well, knew that she was acquainted with the grandpa and that she was a smart kid, so she was fascinated to see the magic of Santa in action.  She couldn't get over the unconditional love and belief that she saw in my daughter's face, and from that moment she became a believer.   A few years later she had kids of her own and had changed jobs, but every year she brought her kids to the school to see Santa.

[auntie]

Nov 18, 2014 10:46:17 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

I need some perspective here because I never believed in Santa. And Disney characters (in costume) to me were always just adults wearing costumes. It still boggles my mind that kids can't see that, but I'll play along if I have to.

It depends on the kid, the family and the community.

I have a couple friends with bright kids on spectrum whose kids figured out in utero that Santa just wasn't logically possible. I know other kids on spectrum, who because of their emotional immaturity clung onto the belief longer than their NT peers. That was DS; I finally had to tell him because I feared his friends would make fun of him. His reaction was to ask me what else I lied to him about. He also tried to trade me the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny for Santa. 

My nieces in Indiana who were surrounded by other Christian kids believed well into 3rd or 4th grade; my nieces in PA who had friends of different faiths and cultures pretty much stopped by 2nd grade. I know younger sibs whose old sibs spilled the beans and others who actively worked to prepetuate the legend of Santa.

[cjeanette]

My 9 year old has questioned for a couple years but I think he wants Santa to be real so he doesn't push it too much.

[Marmee]

Normally they find out/figure out between 5-10yrs old. My pet peeve is your scenerio. Parents who don't tell their kids to keep this knowledge to themselves & thereby ruin it for all the kids.

[sierramist03]

I'm 30 and while I know Santa doesn't "exist" I still get Santa gifts sometimes and while yes I know it's my parents that bought it. it's kinda fun to have a special gift you didn't expect.
I think I actually believe until 7 or 8

[devonpow]

DS1 is 7.5 and fully believes. We are big into Santa so I certainly help him along Most of his friends don't celebrate Christmas ( 90% of his friends are jewish) so he is very comfortable with the idea that not everyone believes in Santa. We just tell him that Santa visits those who celebrate Christmas and believe in Santa. If you don't believe he won't come. He is very comfortable with that explanation.

[Marmee]

FTR: I don't want other kids telling my young kid what intercourse is either even if their parents choose to tell them at 3, 4, 5 or whatever. That's the parents perogative just don't impose it on other people's children.

[treedimensional]

Nov 18, 2014 17:34:49 GMT -5 Marmee said:

FTR: I don't want other kids telling my young kid what intercourse is either even if their parents choose to tell them at 3, 4, 5 or whatever. That's the parents perogative just don't impose it on other people's children.

I'm scratching my head over how off-topic this is, but I agree that there are lots of adult things that small children shouldn't be burdened with. That would be one of them.

[Marmee]

Nov 18, 2014 18:51:06 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

Nov 18, 2014 17:34:49 GMT -5 Marmee said:

FTR: I don't want other kids telling my young kid what intercourse is either even if their parents choose to tell them at 3, 4, 5 or whatever. That's the parents perogative just don't impose it on other people's children.

I'm scratching my head over how off-topic this is, but I agree that there are lots of adult things that small children shouldn't be burdened with. That would be one of them.

Not saying this was your parents...but some friends of mine who don't do Santa also proclaim to always tell their kids the truth, including the birds & bees at very early ages. Like when they ask "Where do babies come from?". Like I say, that's their perogative but I think to not stress to your kid to put a lid on it is not cool. It should be individual parent's right to decide when & how kids learn things as trivial as Santa & as serious as procreation...not the first kid in class that "knows" gets to tell everyone. I have a nine year span in my 4 kids. I'd be furious if my older kids told anyone including their sisters, so keeping your mouth shut is part II of the talk.

[thewop]

Nov 18, 2014 19:15:39 GMT -5 Marmee said:

Nov 18, 2014 18:51:06 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

I'm scratching my head over how off-topic this is, but I agree that there are lots of adult things that small children shouldn't be burdened with. That would be one of them.

Not saying this was your parents...but some friends of mine who don't do Santa also proclaim to always tell their kids the truth, including the birds & bees at very early ages. Like when they ask "Where do babies come from?". Like I say, that's their perogative but I think to not stress to your kid to put a lid on it is not cool. It should be individual parent's right to decide when & how kids learn things as trivial as Santa & as serious as procreation...not the first kid in class that "knows" gets to tell everyone.

yes.

[treedimensional]

Nov 18, 2014 19:15:39 GMT -5 Marmee said:

Not saying this was your parents...but   It should be individual parent's right to decide when & how kids learn things ...not the first kid in class that "knows" gets to tell everyone.   I'd be furious so keeping your mouth shit is part II of the talk.

I agree. I never got this talk. So, I can blame my mother?

[Marmee]

Also that part when you say that your Mom basically repeated your 1st grade comments to the teacher rubs people wrong....I see above, and yes. Lol. It's always moms fault anyway

[thewop]

Nov 18, 2014 14:44:34 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

Nov 18, 2014 11:23:31 GMT -5 thewop said:

My DD believes because I tell her it's real. She's 3, and it's fun to build her imagination and see her get excited and happy about it. The way her eyes light up and seeing how excited she gets warms my heart. What age will she stop believing? I don't know. I don't remember having a revelation about Santa not being real, so I must have been pretty young. Same with the Easter Bunny and TF. If she came home from school one day and asked, I wouldn't hold back the truth, but why not have fun with it until that day comes? I know it's inevitable. As a parent, it's fun. Building/having an imagination is important IMO. I do think it's pretty asshole-ish to call kids dumbasses for believing. Just because you didn't believe doesn't mean other kids can't. That's probably the parent in me though.

You read the part where I said I was in FIRST GRADE when this happened, right?

So I was an asshole in first grade. That doesn't mean I had no imagination, or grew up to have no imagination, or that I grew up to be an asshole. You don't have to defend your belief system to me. If I was still the asshole I was in first grade, and didn't respect a parent's right to delude their children, I wouldn't have asked this question in the first place.

I don't have to defend a thing. I was giving some perspective on how it can work for others. And the situation isn't any less shitty the way it went down. I second everything @louisa May said.

[treedimensional]

Nov 18, 2014 19:34:09 GMT -5 thewop said:

Nov 18, 2014 14:44:34 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

You read the part where I said I was in FIRST GRADE when this happened, right?

So I was an asshole in first grade. That doesn't mean I had no imagination, or grew up to have no imagination, or that I grew up to be an asshole. You don't have to defend your belief system to me. If I was still the asshole I was in first grade, and didn't respect a parent's right to delude their children, I wouldn't have asked this question in the first place.

I don't have to defend a thing. I was giving some perspective on how it can work for others. And the situation isn't any less shitty the way it went down. I second everything @louisa May said.

Okay, my first grade self was not just an asshole, my first grade self was a shitty asshole. Are you angry at me?

[adhdfashion]

7 or 8 years old.

[thewop]

Nov 18, 2014 19:39:18 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

Nov 18, 2014 19:34:09 GMT -5 thewop said:

I don't have to defend a thing. I was giving some perspective on how it can work for others. And the situation isn't any less shitty the way it went down. I second everything @louisa May said.

Okay, my first grade self was not just an asshole, my first grade self was a shitty asshole. Are you angry at me?

angry no. You seem to be reading too much into this and getting defensive. I gave my answer as a parent on how we do things. To give some background and say that I dont know when it will happen when she finds out. Will I be happy when some other kid tells her? I'd be lying if I said yes. But I won't lie to her if she asks if it's true what she heard. And dude.....My 3 year old daughter can be a shitty asshole. All kids have their moments.

[treedimensional]

Nov 18, 2014 19:56:15 GMT -5 thewop said:

Nov 18, 2014 19:39:18 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

Okay, my first grade self was not just an asshole, my first grade self was a shitty asshole. Are you angry at me?

angry no. You seem to be reading too much into this and getting defensive. I gave my answer as a parent on how we do things. To give some background and say that I dont know when it will happen when she finds out. Will I be happy when some other kid tells her? I'd be lying if I said yes. But I won't lie to her if she asks if it's true what she heard. And dude.....My 3 year old daughter can be a shitty asshole. All kids have their moments.

Not at all. I agreed with you. It's just hard to tell with text-only replies.

I try to be sensitive to this practice if I'm around groups of mixed age kids this time of year, which is why I asked.  

[jillybean222]

Nov 18, 2014 20:17:19 GMT -5 treedimensional said:

Nov 18, 2014 19:56:15 GMT -5 thewop said:

angry no. You seem to be reading too much into this and getting defensive. I gave my answer as a parent on how we do things. To give some background and say that I dont know when it will happen when she finds out. Will I be happy when some other kid tells her? I'd be lying if I said yes. But I won't lie to her if she asks if it's true what she heard. And dude.....My 3 year old daughter can be a shitty asshole. All kids have their moments.

Not at all. I agreed with you. It's just hard to tell with text-only replies.

I try to be sensitive to this practice if I'm around groups of mixed age kids this time of year, which is why I asked.  

I would just assume every kid you come across believes in Santa until they tell you otherwise.  It seems risky trying to guess.