Kind of related to you, OP, but we have a close friend that had twin boys with her first pregnancy and thought they'd add one more kid. Well, she got pregnant with spontaneous triplet girls.
OMGGGG
Ha, they are a super fun and great family!! Just large!
I'm pregnant with #3, and I'm still not sure this will be it. I've always pictured myself with 4 kids, so we'll see how 3 goes and make a decision from there. Basically I'm no help, lol.
Also I will 100% forever be sad I don't have a baby in the house. Those will always be happy memories for me. It was a wonderful time in my life despite how hard it was. The difference for me was that I couldn't see myself actually raising a third child. That difference was key for me.
I was done at 5. I didn't intend to have 5 kids but I got those thoughts and feelings for another baby after the other one was born and my husband loves getting me pregnant (lol). The last two took so much out of me I just don't think I could handle another one. I wouldn't mind more kids, I love my kids, I love kids, I just won't be giving birth. I real somewhat liberated when I my husband had his vasectomy but then I draw back and get terrified b/c 1. I am fertile 2. So is he and 3. I have heard the stories of pregnancies after a vasectomy. I am paranoid.
I think I've realized I don't necessarily want to have more kids, I just want to do my kids babyhood over and over again. This sounds a little silly but both my kids have been really big and alert from birth so I feel cheated out of the newborn stage everyone gushes about. I start out with six week olds and never have had the sleepy or cuddly newborns.
I think you know you are done when you hear someone is having a baby and your first thought is somewhere along the lines of 'sucks to be them'
I'd love another but I feel like I should stop while I am ahead.
I have 3 kids too. Within 3 1/2 years. My baby will be 3 in February. I don't think I will ever feel "done." But we are done. Thankfully, my husband is sane and talks me down from the ledge. We would need either a new house, or major renovations to the one we have. Our kids are in private school, and we would have to seriously adjust our finances to account for one more. I did not love pregnancy. We are nearly done with diapers after changing them for the past 6 1/2 years. Scheduling of activities is becoming chaotic with 3, I can't imagine what it would be like with 4.
I love our family and wouldn't change a thing, and I know many people happily have more than 3. But for us, 3 appears to be the perfect amount. But I don't think I'll ever not want another. And I don't think that would change no matter how many we did have. I'm a sucker for babies.
I know of them and actually spoke to her on the phone once. I was thinking of sending dd to the school where her kids attend and a friend gave me her number so we could chat about the school. We have a lot of mutual friends. She took my call when she was at the library with ALL of her kids.....she was so calm and easy going.
Post by breacosmom on Nov 21, 2014 13:50:55 GMT -5
Thanks for all the replies guys. I on my phone so it's difficult to quote, but multiple multiples terrifies me. I cried when I found out I was having twins the first time. I had a 16month old at the time and was terrified. I also had a pretty sucky pregnancy (PTL, 3 weeks in the hospital on bedrest, etc). I barely remember the first few months of their life bc I was so exhausted. I love them to pieces but it was so hard.
I think part of it is wanting to experience a singleton again. I'm somewhere above between I would want to gouge my eyes out if I found out I was pregnant.
I was "done" in my mind from the second my dr told me there were 2 in there to a few months ago. I liked that feeling. I wish there was some switch I could turn off hah
Kind of related to you, OP, but we have a close friend that had twin boys with her first pregnancy and thought they'd add one more kid. Well, she got pregnant with spontaneous triplet girls.
Annnnnd this is why I am done. No way in hell am I taking the chance of another set of multuplies. Some days I can't handle the ones I have and they are great kids.
Post by wanderlustmom on Nov 21, 2014 14:04:01 GMT -5
Love the PP quote, my done meter is broken too but DHs was strongly in tact. He very much only wanted to parent two kids and knew this when I got pregnant the second time. He didn't care about gender at all--he wanted two kids. For him, he didn't want to divide his emotional energy by three. So we stopped but even now, with a vasectomy and a nine year old and seven year old--the idea of a baby sounds awesome to me. But that doesn't mean I really want another logically. I hope that makes sense. My moms done meter is broken too but she still said she's glad she stopped at two.
I always thought I wanted two and I was ready to do IVF all over again. But H really wants to be one and done (because of the IF diagnosis). When he suggested that I just felt so relieved. I just rushed through our diagnosis and H's surgery and the IVF and having just one embryo and all that. It's all catching up to me now. I don't know if I want to go through it all again. I don't think I have the strength.
I didn't realize that people spoke about your next pregnancy all.the.time when you are pregnant with your first. But I hear constantly about things next time around and it stresses me out. So I guess, I'm one and done?
Post by lovelovelove on Nov 21, 2014 14:21:06 GMT -5
I feel weird about this. Like my body is not done, and emotionally I'm not done, but logically it's the best decision. Like you, op, I'm craving a normal pregnancy and newborn stage. But there's no guarantee that will happen and I'm not sure I want to raise another child. But I'm in that "I want a baby" place. My dh I'd done, done, done, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway.