Sleep Training - Is this normal?

[Pilsy]

We started last weekend. Went surprisingly well for a couple days (sat, sun). Less than 30 min of crying after being out down fed and drowsy but awake. One night, she STTN, minimal wake ups the other with not enough crying for checks.

Got tougher beginning Monday bc she sleeps so poorly at daycare. She falls asleep on the way home, screams while I get her ready for bed, I struggle to keep her awake long enough to feed her, she cries as I out her in the crib, etc. but I didn't give up bc I felt it would be bad to have two days on, five days off, two in, etc. Got progressively better at bedtime throughout the week: getting ready for bed is tough, but zero crying once in the crib now.

The problem is MOTN. Just now, she's been awake and whiny-crying off and on for an hour. I feel so bad that this is happening. We're watching her on the monitor and she's fine, and it's not a hungry cry. But this poor baby isn't sleeping.

I don't know what to do about weeknights. I can't get us home any earlier.

When will it get better? I'm kind of losing it from a combo of feeling bad from her and needing more sleep myself. I feel cruel right now.

Kudus if you read that whole thing.

[teatimefor2]

Firstly, hugs! Sleep training is hard. I'm on the app, how old again is your DD?

She actually sounds overtired to me, due to not napping at daycare. Can you move her bedtime up until she starts napping again? That may have a positive impact.

It can take a little longer for some babies, but don't feel guilty. I know, easier said than done, but think of it this way, you are trying to teach her to self sooth and the gift of sleep. Everyone, children included, due better with continuous sleep, but that can be hard to master for a variety of reasons. I've always viewed sleep training as trying to teach them the skill of sleeping.

Good luck!

[Pilsy]

Hi, and thanks.

She's 7 months soon. And yes, I know she's overtired but like I said, I can't get us home any earlier on weeknights. I already put her to bed immediately upon getting home. I mean, we get home, pajamas, nurse, crib.

[teatimefor2]

Nov 22, 2014 2:44:34 GMT -5 Pilsy said:

Hi, and thanks.

She's 7 months soon. And yes, I know she's overtired but like I said, I can't get us home any earlier on weeknights. I already put her to bed immediately upon getting home. I mean, we get home, pajamas, nurse, crib.

Oh, I thought maybe you had a longer bedtime routine. My only other suggestion would be could you do something before leaving daycare to make bedtime easier for a couple days? Maybe put her in her PJs so all you have to do is feed her and put her to bed? Are you doing solids at dinner yet? At that age, I wasn't as I added dinner last. If you are, could you skip a solids dinner?

Sorry I don't have any other ideas.

[Pilsy]

She's finally quiet so I'm going back to bed. Thanks for your thoughts and support.

This is so tough. I had a meltdown at the daycare at pickup two nights ago, explaining to them how much this lack of napping is impacting things. Work sucks and I'm running on empty.

Good night.

[Pilsy]

Yes, maybe I can have them put her in jammies, good idea. No solids at night yet. Just boob.

[lilac05]

It wasn't all or nothing for us. With DS2, we would go in during the middle of the night & quickly nurse, rock, or find his pacifier for him. It allowed all of us to get more/better sleep. I knew if he woke up, I could go in there for less than 5 minutes and we'd all be back in our beds and asleep in no time. If I tried to let him cry, we'd all be awake for much longer. I knew he knew how to put himself back to sleep on his own because he did it at nap time & he went to sleep on his own, so I wasn't worried about it. In the middle of the night, I just did whatever it took to get us all back to sleep ASAP. It worked for us. Most nights, he slept through the night & the others were painless (& only once). At 15 mo, he goes back to sleep in less than a minute 99% of the time. (Occasionally needs help if it's getting close to time to wake up, but I know he's not awake for the day yet.)

I agree that she sounds overtired. I think you might have good results if you try what we did. (I usually sent H in if he needed to be rocked & I didn't want to nurse. They get bonus snuggles & I get to sleep!)

Good luck!

[teatimefor2]

Nov 22, 2014 2:54:30 GMT -5 lilac05 said:

I agree that she sounds overtired. I think you might have good results if you try what we did. (I usually sent H in if he needed to be rocked & I didn't want to nurse. They get bonus snuggles & I get to sleep!)

Good luck!

I also sent DH in when he wasn't time to nurse. I think it helped separate wake ups with food.

Okay, I'm done nursing now and back to bed.

[Pilsy]

lilac05, I like that idea and was doing it but my pedi told me to stop.

She hasn't eaten overnight since 4.5 months, so no issues there. It's not hunger. If ever given a pacifier, she's out almost immediately.

Thank you both!

[arebee]

DD is about the same age as yours and sometimes STTN and sometimes not. If not, I can sneak in and give her her paci and she goes right back to sleep.

If I am understanding you correctly, your pedi told you not to do this? Maybe this flammable but I would ignore them on this. It's easy for them to sit in their office and say that you shouldn't do it but they aren't the ones getting up in the MOTN.

[lilac05]

Your pedi isn't the one trying to juggle life with a baby and a stressful job without sleep. Do whatever is best for your family!

[timorousbeastie]

I agree with others. If she or you aren't ready to sleep train MOTN, don't. When we ST'd DD at 6 months, we only did going to bed. She's 9.5 months now, and I still get her if she wakes up MOTN (she does some nights, not all). I just don't have it in me yet to ST overnight - I'd rather go for the quickest way to get me back to sleep, which is to go in there and shove a boob in her mouth for 5 minutes.

[Deleted]

Nov 22, 2014 9:22:31 GMT -5 lilac05 said:

Your pedi isn't the one trying to juggle life with a baby and a stressful job without sleep. Do whatever is best for your family!

This.
Although it could just be an extinction burst. I'm so glad my pedi understands that not all babies respond well to sleep training.

[Pilsy]

Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate the feedback.

It’s going well at bedtime, so I’m happy about that, but I may return to replacing the paci. I sleep so much better then.

[kershnic]

I can give you no advice but I can commiserate that it sucks. I am sitting on the couch listening to my wife sing to a baby who is screaming because she wants milk. night weaning blows. But we all need to sleep more than four hour stretches so onward we march.

Baby Pilsy can do this and so can you.