I am so sorry. I had a parent with similar issues. My mom is great with dd but was drinking so much she was not able to stand and was tippy while holding her. She would volunteer to watch her so we could go out to dinner but I couldnt leave dd like that. Finally I decided to stop tip toeing around it and set a rule that my mom couldn't drink at all around dd. I was so sad that it came to that.
My story ends differently because the same day I decided that my mom called to say she started going to AA. Truthfully AA has been great for her but comes with its own challenges. I should go to alnon but haven't. I hope you find a solution to this that works for you. It's a terrible situation to be in. Hugs.
Al-anon is a great suggestion. How's your H doing with it? Is he good at setting boundaries with her? Your post reads like you have a very level head about this - you're taking appropriate steps to protect your kids with firm rules, yet also working to preserve the good part of the relationship in a way that is safe. As long as your kids are safe and your H's response isn't completely emotionally charged and obviously harmful to anyone, I think you have to let your H take the lead in how he wants to deal with it.
I think H is just incredibly frustrated. He was always very close with his mom, but their relationship has changed a lot in the past few years because of her behavior and her drinking. At this point he is the one setting the boundaries based on our mutual feelings, and I think it's good. I'm not sure what else he'll want to do after this, or just see if it blows over.
I'm sure this is a really tough situation for him. I think it's a good sign for all of you if he's on the same level headed page that you seem to be on. Good luck.
Glad to hear the update. It is especially hard when you still love someone and want to keep them in your life. I have a feeling that SFIL said something in the heat of the moment like "And your SON doesn't trust you with your GRANDCHILD when you drink LIKE THIS." Not ideal.
Glad to hear the update. It is especially hard when you still love someone and want to keep them in your life. I have a feeling that SFIL said something in the heat of the moment like "And your SON doesn't trust you with your GRANDCHILD when you drink LIKE THIS." Not ideal.
No, definitely not ideal. Part of me wishes that H had just addressed the issue when it happened originally back in August, but it would have gone nowhere if he had done so in the heat of the moment. I hope that they can figure it out. We did talk also about the fact that she is a good grandma, and that neither of us ever had the intention of cutting her out. I think it's important that he does address that with her when they do talk eventually.