R was born late friday night, we came home saturday afternoon, h picked up his sister from the airport sunday morning and she slept on our couch for 8 nights because we live(d) in a 1 bedroom apartment (we've since added a second bedroom, but it wasn't finished at that time).
on one hand, it was totally fine. she has a background in medicine so nothing postpartum was weird or uncomfortable to her. i had zero shame in letting my boobs hang out while i sorted out nursing. she cooked and cleaned and held R while we napped.
but the more overnight visitors we've had since he was born, the more we're realizing how it just doesn't work in our apartment. 600 sq/ft is not enough space for 3-4 adults and a baby. we definitely won't be in this same space when we have our next child, but my decisions on family staying over will be largely dependent on our space. if we can't comfortably accommodate guests we will likely ask them to postpone visits or stay in a hotel. i powered through this last time because i didn't know what to expect postpartum and our family isn't the type to stay in a hotel, but i'm kind of over that. i need to be willing to stick up for myself. i need my space and, selfish or not, *i* shouldn't be the one that has to power through. i just effing had a baby!
I wanted my parents there at the hospital. They stayed for a couple of weeks and their help was invaluable from day 1. They took care of us as we learned to take care of our baby.
My in laws came two days after we came home from the hospital. It was a bad idea. They were not accommodating, I was sleep deprived and dealing with a poor latch with L. If we were to do it all over again, we would have no visitors at least for the first week.
Maybe see if you can wait until the baby is here to decide depending on how you and H feel. Take all the time you need for yourself and your family and don't be afraid to say so.