Is this true?!

[thecatinthehat]

So DH and I are on the fence on #2. We want DS to have a sibling and while we like kids, we've realized after DS that they are way more work than we thought. LOL We previously planned a 2.5-3yr age gap and definitely stopping at #2. Now that gap has since been postponed to 3.5-4 with 40% chance we may change our minds and be OAD. Anyway a few moms have told me that the second baby has always been easier than the first. They tend to be more independent, not as clingy and less "annoying"! LOL

So is this true? 

[pinkdutchtulips]

was NOT the case w my sister .. i (the firstborn) was the easy baby .. she was the royal pain in the ass. my mom jokes she would have stopped at 2 had she NOT found herself pg w/ my brother when my hell on wheels sis was 6 months old.

[IrishBelle]

It wasn't true in my case. DD2 (3) was way busier than DD1 and always kept me on my toes. Now that DD2 is older, they do play well together and will keep each other busy but it wasn't always that way.

[zarapipe]

So far....9 weeks in

[ECB]

Of course a blanket statement like this isn't true. While we're OAD, I have a few friends who if their 2nd had been their first - they probably would have stopped at one because the 2nd is a HANDFUL. And DS is SOOOOO easygoing and has a mild temprament- I suspect had we had a 2nd, that would have ended up being us. A wild child for #2.

[Deleted]

My second is much easier than my first. This tends to vary depending how hard the first was.

[ilikedonuts]

Both my kids have been overall mostly easy babies. But DD1 was easier then DD2.

[mlt]

True for us.

[pierogigirl]

DS2 was an easier baby (slept better, nursed less often, STTN just before 1 year), but he's a much harder toddler. He has epic tantrums and can be a huge pain in the ass. He's wicked cute, though, and he is also sweet.

[thecatinthehat]

Ha! I had a feeling they just had fairly easy second babies. They think it may be due to the parents having more focus/time on the first so that they get used to this much attention. The second kid just have to deal with a more divided attention and therefore learns to be more independent. While the logic makes sense I was skeptical that this was really true at least 85% of the time. Ok crossing this off pros list

[fortmyersbride]

Nope, but DD had health issues that led to her being a constant clinging, crying, non-sleeping mess.

I'm holding out for #3 being my magical low maintenance baby

[kershnic]

I have twins and one is harder than the other. I vote it's just human temperament and not much role for birth order. Some parents might perceive their 2nd to be easier because they know what they're doing more often.

[Deleted]

I'm the oldest, and I was perfect. Then my brother the hellion came along.

We're probably going to be OAD since dd is so easy and we don't want to fuck it up.

[jeaniebueller]

With us, yes. But part of it is that I am way more easy breezy this time around.

[thecatinthehat]

Nov 30, 2014 20:38:57 GMT -5 @roseyposey said:

I'm the oldest, and I was perfect. Then my brother the hellion came along.

We're probably going to be OAD since dd is so easy and we don't want to fuck it up.

I was also the oldest and have always been the easier child. LOL

DS is actually an easy baby and part of the reason we are hesitant is if the second is going to be hellion But then 2 easy babies still seems to be more work than one.  

[carolinagirl831]

I bet a lot of these comments just stem from parents knowing what to expect and relaxing a bit with number 2

[bunch]

This was true until dd2 was mobile. Since then, NOPE.

[anna7602]

I don't think there can be any universal truths about how someone's personality will turn out based on birth order. I am the youngest of four and apparently was the most "high maintenance."

Our second child IS pretty chill while our first was a colicky mess, but I had a second because I felt ready to deal with whatever may have come along. It has been a happy surprise that he is so chill, but I don't take any credit for his being that way and I might have died a slow death if I'd ended up with another colicky kid when DD was any younger than she is now. 

[Teachermama]

First born here... mom wanted 5 after me and tied her tubes after my sister.

[lilac05]

Both of my kids have been relatively easy. If I had to choose, I'd say DS1 was "easier." He was a better sleeper and was an early talker, so he was able to easily communicate what he wanted/needed. DS2 is more of an introvert already, likes to be held much more often, and does not have many words yet at 16 months, so I'm anticipating more tantrums with him. (I can count the number of tantrums over 10 seconds long that DS1 ever had...on one hand.)

[h]

I had a much easier time of it when my second and third were infants than with my first, but I am sure part of that was because my perspective was different (I.e., I knew I had not actually ruined my life, that he would sleep eventually, etc.). My second has been a much tougher 3 and 4 yo than my first was, and DS3 has definitely been my wildest toddler.

[zeewifeandmama]

This is not the case in my house. Not the case.
I did not get an "easy recovery, dream of a baby" second child. I love him and he's amazeballs, but not easy or low maintenance

[MadamePresident]

My second is a much easier baby. But I think it's because he takes after me and I was an easy baby.

[atarianna]

My second has been a breeze. He has reflux/GI issues and is still exponentially easier than my daughter.

[matildasun]

My second is different, but not easier than his sister.

[Deleted]

I mean.... every kid is different. DD2 was a way easier newborn/infant than DD1, but she is a significantly more difficult toddler so even with the same kid, it can vary by age. My neighbors had a colic baby the second time around after an angelic first baby.

What I can say is pretty much universally true is there is less of a learning curve with the second kid. All the stuff you had to learn the first time just comes back to you naturally and general day-to-day care and feeding feels pretty much automatic. It is also awesome to have an older kid around to help (and to remind you of the good parts of having a newborn... they don't require elaborate interactions with you to keep them happy and entertained; they don't talk back; they stay wherever you put them down...). I felt like I hit the lottery when DD2 was born and all I had to do was sit in the glider and nurse her a zillion times a day while DD1 ran my husband around ragged.

ETA my kids are 3 years apart.

[lostlenore]

I have 3 boys. For the most part, they have been exactly the same. They were all horrible sleepers, but by #2 & #3 I didn't worry so much about it b/c I knew that i would get through it & how & when sleep training would work. I actually only planned on having two kids, but when DS2 was still a tiny baby, I decided I wanted to have a third. I guess I just realized that it is easier when you kinda know what you are doing.

My mom only had two kids, my older sister & I. I almost didn't happen b/c my sister was so colicky, etc. But I was super easy, so my mom was glad she had a second. Me too! Lol.

[stealthmom]

This is true for us but in a way almost any kid would have been easier since I now know much better what the heck I'm doing.

[anaps28]

I'm only 7ish weeks in but yes he is easier than #1. He just goes with the flow and actually sleeps instead of crying alllll day long like his brother did.

[whitepicketfence]

Definitely not the case in my house. DD2 is....difficult. She was born adorable for a reason. We may have sold her on the black market otherwise