I know this is not the best time

[marniewin]

I know with all the talk about lurkers this isn't really the best time for me to ask for help but I need it. My name is Marnie. I have been lurking here for a long time. Started back when people were on The Nest. I know...sounds creepy. But I really love politics and reading the discussions. From that lurking, I know that most of you are pro-choice and I believe some have even made the choice to abort...I can't remember for sure. I am pregnant. It was not planned at all and I'm terrified. I am leaning towards abortion but I am overwhelmed. I don't know where to turn for help and I can't tell anyone in my life. I know this is super weird but I am just wondering if I could talk to anyone here who either had an abortion or faced an unplanned pregnancy. I wouldn't ask but everywhere else I've turned I've been called names and been berated for even considering it.
I hope you guys aren't too creeped out. Thanks.

[Kristinmo]

(((Hugs)))). I haven't been in that position but several who post here have.

[tacosforlife]

I have never been pregnant, so I'm no help on that front. But there are some wonderful ladies here who have been in the same position, and I'm sure someone will talk to you. In the meantime, I want to offer my support for whatever decision you make.

And welcome, even if this perhaps wasn't how you hoped to introduce yourself.

[gpw]

I am tagging Jermys and NewOrleans not because I have any knowledge of their personal reproductive choices, but because I know (or am pretty sure) they have volunteered at clinics.  Also, sushi.

ETA:  Oh, and I'm sorry you are going through this.  I can't imagine how difficult this must be.  Hugs from an internet stranger.

[Velvetshady]

What tacos said. Make the decision that is best for YOU, whatever that decision is.

(((hugs)))

[eclaires]

There are several of us who have had unplanned pregnancies. Your OP mentions that but I don't want to post my story unless you want to hear that side too (I went through with the pregnancy).

You'll get a lot of good info and support here! Welcome.

[Deleted]

I'm glad you felt you could post here for support. No judging at all - just support for you to make the decision best for you.

[ttt]

Welcome and I'm sorry your first post is coming from a difficult place in your life. You probably already know that weekends are kind of slow here, but I hope you can get some good support here. I'm afraid I can't offer a lot of help except that YOU are the one who has to live with whatever you choose to do and therefore it is YOUR choice, no one else's. And those people who think otherwise can go to hell.

[mrsdewinter]

((Hugs))

I had an unplanned pregnancy last year and struggled with this decision. I felt like i had no good options and it just sucked. It is a hard decision sometimes, and it's made even harder that abortion is so polarized in our culture. I read a lot online about different abortion options and posts by women who'd had abortions and what their experiences were like. Really thinking through each option helped me get in touch with what I was feeling and decide what was right for me. Think about what is best for you and what you want out of life. I hope you can make a choice for yourself that feels right.

[Brie]

Is there a Planned Parenthood near you? That is a good place to start, if there is.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this and I hope you are able to find what you need. You may also want to keep an eye on your private messages as some posters may feel more comfortable sharing their stories with you privately.

(Hugs)

[jlt19]

I had an unplanned pregnancy in 2011. DH and I were pretty firmly one and done, but then, surprise! We did talk about abortion for a minute, but decided against it. DS is now 2.5 and we're all happy. I'll admit it took a lot of time to accept the pregnancy and even bond with him because of our uncertainty. I will also say that I love him to pieces and we are lucky we had the stable marriage and finances to make it work. After he was born, we both were "fixed" to make sure it doesn't happen again. Now, if by some strange luck it does happen, I wouldn't hesitate to not go through with the pregnancy. I believe everyone should do what is right for their situation. I hope it didn't seem as I was trying to push you to keeping the baby, I'm just sharing my story. I, and most others here, will be 100% supportive of whatever decision you make. Good luck.

[Michelle]

I am glad you felt safe to ask for help here. I cannot help except to share that planned parenthood has a chat line that might help until some here responds. www.plannedparenthood.org/all-access/chat

[jln]

HUGS. The women here are incredibly supportive. I wish the best for you and hope that you can do what's right for you.

[saz]

Hugs. I haven't been in your shoes, but I hope you feel you are able to make the choice that is right for you. I'm sorry you don't have more supportive people in your life, but I know you'll find lots of support here no matter what you choose.

[secretlyevil]

All I can say is I wish you strength and peace as you make this decision. Lots of hugs. I'm sorry I don't have real information for you.

[ajj]

Just want to offer my support and peace of mind in any decision you make.

[NewOrleans]

::waves hi::

I volunteer outside a Planned Parenthood facility and in the recovery room. One great thing about PP is the presence of counselor a and social workers on site. Not all clinics have this. If you're uncomfortable going got a PP at this time, can you start with your regular gynecologist? Or call the National Abortion Federation. Small steps on your way to health.

I also know a lot about pregnancy termination.

Please reach out if you have questions or need a sounding board. Feel free to message me privately.

Be gentle with yourself while you weigh your choices.

[josieposy]

((Hugs)) I can only somewhat relate, as we planned for one and got two.

In the end you gotta do what is best for you. Lots of good vibes and well wishes!

[greeneggs]

Hugs. My only pregnancy was planned like the D Day invasion but if my IUD failed and I got pregnant again I would strongly consider not continuing the pregnancy. I had crippling PPD with DS and it's been suggested to me by my doctor that I think long and hard about the mental health issues with having a second.

I'm so sorry that you are not able to get the support you badly need in person and I hope the advice and support that you are getting here helps you to make your choice. Just remember that any choice you make will be the right one because you are making it based on your own unique needs and feelings and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

[katietornado]

I'm sorry that this is what brought you out of lurkerdom.

I had an abortion almost 10 years ago. I have had literally not one single regret in the years since. Not one. I consider it the best decision of my life. I don't ever want to have to do it again (it was expensive and painful), but I absolutely would if necessary.

I'm happy to chat about it if you'd like.

[Deleted]

I had an abortion almost 2 years ago. I am happy to talk about it and answer any questions.

I would not try to convince someone either way on this decision, but I will say it was a great choice for me and I have never regretted it for even a moment. I regret getting pregnant but not what I did after that.

[tiramisu]

I haven't had to face this situation but wanted to offer support. I'm sorry you're facing this and that you can't turn to anyone IRL. None of my friends or the people I've met through my work who've had abortions have said they regretted it. It's not an easy decision and it's best to make the choice that is right for you and your situation.

I picked a client up from PP following her abortion. She was tired/groggy but okay and just needed to take it easy for a few days.

[stealthmom]

When I faced an unplanned pg and wasn't sure what I wanted to do I visualized each scenario and what it would likely feel/look like, trying to consider all the impacts- emotional, financial, logistical, etc. It was very helpful to me in sorting out my feelings. Good luck. know we support you no matter what.

[Deleted]

Dec 6, 2014 13:50:37 GMT -5 @majorwife said:

hello and im sorry this brings you out of lurkerdom. i hope you can find peace in whatever decision you make.

i will share that both of my kids were oops, #2 moreso than #1 and if i were faced with a #3 i would strongly consider abortion, for my sanity, for my marriage, for my health and for my bank account.

I have three, two were completely unplanned. The third was well, if we get pregnant, fine but @majorwife and I hang out on the same couch all of the time lately it seems. If I were to become pregnant right now and discovered it early enough for my personal beliefs, I'd get an abortion too.

[Jermys]

I have volunteered at a clinic for years, and recently took my son's birthmom to Planned Parenthood for an abortion. If you need to talk or ask questions, feel free to PM me any time.

[NewOrleans]

Also, if you're in my state, I could go with you for consult or as your guest to an appointment if you feel you can't bring someone IRL.

[Velar Fricative]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I support whatever decision you choose to make. I wish you the best.

[Black Lavender]

Just wanted to offer my support as well. I did choose to terminate when faced with a similar situation. Please feel free to PM me anytime...

Sent from my SCH-I545 using proboards

[WOT?*]

I have had to make the choice as well. Please know there is support in whatever decision you decide to make. If you don't have support at home, please find a support group outside of it if you ever need one.

[gpw]

Dec 6, 2014 21:02:47 GMT -5 asdfjkl said:

Dec 6, 2014 20:17:42 GMT -5 NewOrleans said:

Also, if you're in my state, I could go with you for consult or as your guest to an appointment if you feel you can't bring someone IRL.

If she's in a different state, are there people who could do this for her there.

I'm just going to ASSume we cover a good portion of the US, and I imagine that we could make that happen.  I'm down for my state.