I have realized - I am awesome.

[Deleted]

I'm so glad you liked my prediction! This is one of the reasons I'm not actively attempting to date. If I meet someone along the way then cool, but I don't want to waste my energy on a bunch of dates with mediocre dates. That's why I have Netflix. Hahah.

[jigsy]

Eh, I see your point, but I think I'm pretty awesome, but I don't know what I want to do with life, I may not be able to pay my bills soon/be working at Starbucks, and so on.
But that doesn't mean I never want to grow or change, some people just take longer to figure what that means for them.

But if you don't want to have to wait for that, there is nothing wrong passing on those of us still trying to figure it out.
You'll find someone who has their shit together, or someone do awesome that you don't care if they do or don't.

[Deleted]

mp I get what you're saying. I'm at a point where I don't want to date someone who doesn't have a career and things together. I see no problem with people who don't but they aren't for me to be in a relationship.

[Emerald1486]

I understand what you are saying and I agree. I want to be with someone who will be a partner, not someone I have to support. I've been there. It's stressful.

[jojoandleo]

I see nothing wrong with wanting the man you are with having a career or at least a clear career path. I don't wantto date a 30 year old who is unwilling to at least pay his dues to make his dreams come true.

[lookingup]

Dec 6, 2014 17:22:17 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

mp I get what you're saying. I'm at a point where I don't want to date someone who doesn't have a career and things together. I see no problem with people who don't but they aren't for me to be in a relationship.

This is me for the most part. With regards to a career, I just need to be with someone who is passionate about what they do. I don't even care what it is- I would date a guy who was a barista if it payed the bills and he was happy (like for real happy). Regardless of a dude's career path, I would not be willing to be in a relationship with someone who was miserable at their job unless he was actively working to change it. 

[lookingup]

Dec 6, 2014 19:31:15 GMT -5 mp said:

Dec 6, 2014 19:20:53 GMT -5 lookingup said:

This is me for the most part. With regards to a career, I just need to be with someone who is passionate about what they do. I don't even care what it is- I would date a guy who was a barista if it payed the bills and he was happy (like for real happy). Regardless of a dude's career path, I would not be willing to be in a relationship with someone who was miserable at their job unless he was actively working to change it. 

I deleted my OP, lol.

But - I am halfway here, with your post. Like - could I date a guy who was 100% happy at being a barista? Honestly, I don't think so. I don't care how much money someone makes, but they have to be striving for personal growth. If they're happy being a barista - what are they working towards? A new career? Education? Learning something new? Are they volunteering? If they go home at the end of the day, just play video games - but they're happy with their life? - that's not enough for me.

I dated the barista. He was going back to college. I was married the man that made more than me but hated his job and did NOTHING to change it unless I pressed. Divorced and 2.5 years later, he's still doing that job he hated. I would take the barista dude over my exH any day of the week.

BUT... I am realizing, I don't have to choose one or the other. Unless barista dude knocks me off of my socks and is also working on curing world hunger, I can hold out for the guy that both knows what he wants, and is actively engaged in it.

ETA - and again, I wouldn't rule out a guy for having roommates, or his income, etc - it's a lot more than that. But the vast majority of men that I've met recently have all the issues - they don't know what they want, they don't make a decent wage, they don't know where they want to be, nor how to get there... nor are they actually trying to figure it out. lol. 

I agree with this 100%. I just didn't put the time or effort into completing my thoughts.

[Deleted]

I'm at the point where I have no interested in waiting around until someone figured out what they want. I'm just not patient enough for that. I don't want to support someone through that. I want someone who is on their way. Not to say there is anything wrong with not knowing what you want, but that person wouldn't be a good match for me. I'm also really attracted to workaholics in powerful positions which probably isn't that healthy either haha.

[seabitch]

Do not settle mp or any other of you fine ladies.

Me, I like a toolbelt. They are a different kind of career guy. I see the genuine love for what H is doing when he talks about his day. Other than the workboots, hardhat, and already mentioned toolbelt, I need ambition, drive, and passion. MP mentions some of that above.

I settled for a long, long, time prior to finally walking away and then finding H.

[liubot]

Dec 6, 2014 20:26:36 GMT -5 seabitch said:

Do not settle mp or any other of you fine ladies.

Me, I like a toolbelt. They are a different kind of career guy. I see the genuine love for what H is doing when he talks about his day. Other than the workboots, hardhat, and already mentioned toolbelt, I need ambition, drive, and passion. MP mentions some of that above.

I settled for a long, long, time prior to finally walking away and then finding H.

This. To everyone on SO, ML, TIP, wherever. 

I have a tendency of settling because the guy is "nice" but he has bad dental issues, a minimum wage job, and no car. Because he doesn't hit me. NO.

I also have a tendency of going toward the predator when I feel down. Rich man, older man where I'm the other woman and a secret. Great sex doesn't mean anything.

We need to respect ourselves. I'm not saying that we don't, but at times I don't think we give ourselves credit for what we deserve. I want more. WE NEED MORE.

We deserve so much more.

[BioNerd]

mp I read your post before you deleted it. I am so happy you've found this power in yourself

[calle28]

I missed the OP, but I agree. You're pretty awesome mp!

[jenstar]

I missed the OP but I agree that you're awesome mp. I have been lurking on this board since it's inception and I mean that in the uncreepiest way possible! I have seen you change and grow over the last few years and I was just thinking yesterday that you are probably my favourite poster on SO if I had to pick!

It's great that you recognize your own worth and what you want out of life and a relationship. That will hopefully mean you're well prepared for that equally awesome guy when he comes along!