I'm afraid of remarrying from more of a financial perspective. I want a prenup that says anything that is mine coming into the marriage stays mine if there is a divorce. My exH got away with having to do very little financially and I lost all the money and equity I put into many things. I honestly cannot forsee myself putting my name with anyone else's when it comes to house, cars, and any major purchases. I plan to maintain my own checking accounts, savings accounts, whatever else accounts. If future fiance has an issue with that, I don't see myself marrying that person. I am still struggling to regain footing after my divorce and I won't put myself in a position to let something like this happen again.
My late H was weird about money, he said that it was equally ours. But he also insisted we have separate accounts, and pay certain bills separately. He made me "repay" him for a computer he bought me, and a few other odd things. When he died I almost lost the money from the sale of our business because he had moved the money to his personal account. Asshole. Anyway, I have weird money issues around men now, and never did before. In spite of that, I believe that jointly handled money is important in a relationship.
We can have some joint accounts, but I'm not giving up my personal accounts or putting my name on stuff that I couldn't afford alone. My exH stole $3000 from our joint savings account without my knowledge and I have no idea what he used it on. The majority of that was money that I had saved. I have no issue helping out a loved one/spouse, but no longer will I give someone full access to all financial areas of my life. Like I said, my exH financially destroyed me, largely in part because everything was joint. I had nothing in my own name leaving the marriage and it was difficult to financially reestablish myself (I'm still struggling to).
I think I am a bit scared of remarrying, mostly because I never expected to have one marriage end, so the thought of it happening again is not something I want to think about really.. That said, I think I am a lot better at judging character (or lack thereof) now than I was 6 years ago when I met my H and I know better now what I want out of life. As it turns out, I knew all of that before I married but I wasn't strong enough in my self to realise that certain things were non-negotiable so I looked at his different life view as not being a bad thing. Now I think it's pretty important to share values etc with a partner and I wish I hadn't been so naive the first time around. I also was focused on getting married before 30 and starting a family so I think that made me overlook things. I will only be with someone now who can demonstrate they can put me first, I was about 5th on the list for stbx (behind himself, his business, his friends and his drinking) and I won't settle for that again. Weeding out narcissists is hard though I think!
What gives me more confidence is that even though I desperately wanted another baby after DS I kept putting it off as I felt like the relationship wasn't going to last and I didn't want to bring another child into that. So that makes me think I am getting wiser in my old age and more discerning I still would really like to meet someone and hopefully marry and have more children but I decided recently that if that doesn't happen, I am also happy being a single mum to my little boy for the foreseeable future too.