Anyone else not bed share?

[ktw]

Yeah, this is us. The only time I seriously considered it when she was little was probably just about a year ago. She was 4 months old, waking up every 45 minutes, and I knew we were going to have to sleep train but wanted to wait until after Christmas. DH had strep throat so he was sleeping in the guest room, I had been up with her all night, and I just said to myself, screw it, I'm going to let her sleep with me. Hahaha, as soon as I tried to lay her down next to me, or even on top of me she just screamed. And we've had pretty much the same result any other time we've tried to cuddle with her in our bed.

[spk926]

We never did. I tried napping with her once and that was a joke. Even now at nearly 24 months I can't lay in bed with her without her either thinking it's play time or wanting to nurse.

[rupertpenny]

B also thinks it is play time.

I actually did bring her to bed the other morning after I had gotten her 100% back to sleep (she had puked in her crib so I couldn't put her back there) and she lasted like 30 minutes. Then she popped up, saw H and started screaming "hi!" and waving enthusiastically right in front of his face.

I wish she was better about it because sometimes I might enjoy it, but it just isn't going to happen.

[osulori]

We never have.

[kdubs923]

DH was completely against bringing a tiny baby into our bed after going on a really bad call at work, where things ended badly for the baby.

Now that DS is older, DH is more OK with the possibility of DS in our bed. So we tried it one particularly bad night. He totally thought it was party time. Clapping and talking.

Instead we spend a lot of time in the recliner when he's sick.

[Brie]

I only did it a couple of times when it was really dire, like during the 4MW when he wanted to nurse every 15 minutes or when he would not nap any other way.

It's just not my thing. I could never sleep well, I need the space at night, and once he was mobile he just thought it was a jungle gym to play on.

[bazinga]

We don't either. I was too scared of her being smothered when she was small. And now if we are anywhere near her, it is play time. She will only sleep if she is in her room by herself.

[cincodemayo]

I did when he was little - like through 6 months. But never now. He's a nut.

[mlt]

It doesn't work at all for DS1 and hasn't since he started STTN around a year. He just kicks us and tosses and turns and whines and no one sleeps.

[carolinagirl831]

We have only done it once, when we were on vacation and she refused to sleep in the pack n play. Otherwise it's the same experience as you. Even if we brought her in at 5 am, she wouldn't lay down. She does not get that our bed = sleep.

[Deleted]

DS never ever would sleep in our bed. When he was tiny he MIGHT sleep on my shoulder or lap for a nap, but usually he wanted to be in the RnP or Swing. Now, he thinks my bed is THE BEST jumpy house on earth.

Sometimes he will get in the bed, and say " Look at me I sleepy like DADDY" and then pretend to snore and fart. It's awesome.

[jeaniebueller]

No, but I never BF'ed, so maybe that was why. And I know this may be a controversial topic to bring up, but I am very actively involved in a group that promotes infant safe sleep, so I would not be comfortable having my baby in bed with me.

[Deleted]

It really differs based on the baby more than parenting philosophy.

Sleeping with DS got me loads more sleep, so I did it. DD had zero interest in sleeping with me, so I didn't.

These posts always kind of make me side-eye a bit. It's like "did anyone use disposable diapers?" or "did anyone feed store-bought food?" Yes, a lot of people do the usual stuff.

[Odonata]

Nope. She's been sleeping in her own room since she came home. There were times where I laid down with her in my bed because I was tired and she just stared at the ceiling and cooed. I was too afraid to fall asleep, though. It was just to rest for a moment before I put her down for a nap in her room.

[ECB]

Nope. Never ever. I had no desire for it, plus as he got older - as you said, being in our bed was FUN!!!!!! Weeee!!!! let's play!

He has napped in our bed. But that's it.

Now, if we had ever had a case where he was just sick... really sick ... I would have been willing to have him sleep with me if it comforted him. But - knock on wood - in 6 years, this hasn't ever come up.

[purplecow0206]

H has a delusion that once A's "old enough" they'll nap together in our bed. HA

We only bring her into our bed on weekend mornings sometimes when H and I don't want to get out of bed yet. She's particularly monkey-like and probably goes with it for 15-20 minutes TOPS, and that's because we're there to entertain her. It's fun, but it's not bedsharing, and I really don't think she'll ever sleep in our bed, especially if one of us was in there with her.

[carolinagirl831]

DD does not like bed sharing. She is definitely a kid that wants her own space at night. Fine by me!

[Deleted]

Dec 17, 2014 9:08:37 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

It really differs based on the baby more than parenting philosophy.

Sleeping with DS got me loads more sleep, so I did it. DD had zero interest in sleeping with me, so I didn't.

These posts always kind of make me side-eye a bit. It's like "did anyone use disposable diapers?" or "did anyone feed store-bought food?" Yes, a lot of people do the usual stuff.

I think that cosleeping is actually the norm for most parents at some point. I think it is rare to get through the first 2-3 years with more than 1 kid who never cosleeps. I think it actually feels strange to have a child who will never snuggle in bed with you. 

Says the girl who coslept until 7! OMG my poor parents. 

[Deleted]

Dec 17, 2014 9:05:37 GMT -5 @this said:

We never have. DD has actually only been in our bedroom at all a handful of times. I don't want her to feel like that's her space or that she's welcome there. lol

Actually DS was like NEVER in my bedroom until he was like 2. Then he was all like " Ooooh what is in this room, this is COOL" and that was the end of that. LOL! 

[Deleted]

Dec 17, 2014 9:13:32 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

Dec 17, 2014 9:08:37 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

It really differs based on the baby more than parenting philosophy.

Sleeping with DS got me loads more sleep, so I did it. DD had zero interest in sleeping with me, so I didn't.

These posts always kind of make me side-eye a bit. It's like "did anyone use disposable diapers?" or "did anyone feed store-bought food?" Yes, a lot of people do the usual stuff.

You're over thinking it.  I always read about it and wonder how people actually do it based on my experience and baby.  It was more meant to be a funny thread I guess.

It always brings out the "I don't bedshare because it's dangerous" and "I don't bedshare because babies sleep better in their cribs" people.

Which is lovely for them, but just makes me feel like a slightly shittier parent. Probably on me, and I really don't feel it as hard since having one of each. Seeing DD not like bedsharing at all drove home the point that I did exactly the right thing in sleeping with DS the way I did.

[Emerald1486]

I did bed share a few times. Mostly when DS was just not settling back to sleep in his crib. Since he is sleeping in a big boy bed now, he doesn't come to my room at all.

[kategm]

DH would let DD sleep on his chest occasionally when she was itty bitty newborn when she woke MOTN. I am pretty firm with not wanting to bed share. It's not something I'm interested in at all. Plus we have one of those it's play tiiiiime! babies on the rare occasions I've been desperate enough to try

[VillainV]

We've bedshared a few times, for a few hours each. Usually it's when he's woken up at like 3-4am and not wanted to go back to sleep, so we bring him into bed with us. The first 10 minutes are like playtime ("Look at me, I'm in the BIG BED!!!"), but then if we try to go to sleep, he will go to sleep as well. We haven't had to do this in a while.

Really it has EVERYTHING to do with you and with your child. We both prefer to have our own bed, and C generally prefers to have his own space as well. It works great for some people, and doesn't work at all for others. If you do it, just read up on how to do it safely.

[cinco]

We only have on vacations and it is the worst. The little shits take up the whole bed.

[bowies]

We have never bedshared and never plan to. It's not a good choice for our family.

[Velar Fricative]

We tried a few times during her poor sleep phase (3.5 months to 5.5 months). It was terrible. DH and I were so afraid of smothering her (we are big people and had a queen-sized bed at the time), I could never get side-lying nursing right, and it didn't really help her sleep anyway.

Since then, we did it once when she woke up at around 4:00ish randomly one night at around 11 months. We brought her in with us and she ended up sleeping well until official wake-up time but of course DH and I didn't get much sleep (though we felt slightly more comfortable that time since she was bigger than before).

Now that we have a king-sized bed we'd feel more comfortable bedsharing if we had to but would prefer to avoid it for fear of creating a bad habit (IMO) now that she's a toddler. But if she has another weird night where nothing else will work to get her to sleep, we'd do it again with no regrets (if she'd actually sleep!).

[Deleted]

Dec 17, 2014 9:15:42 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

Dec 17, 2014 9:13:32 GMT -5 gravytrain225 said:

You're over thinking it.  I always read about it and wonder how people actually do it based on my experience and baby.  It was more meant to be a funny thread I guess.

It always brings out the "I don't bedshare because it's dangerous" and "I don't bedshare because babies sleep better in their cribs" people.

Which is lovely for them, but just makes me feel like a slightly shittier parent. Probably on me, and I really don't feel it as hard since having one of each. Seeing DD not like bedsharing at all drove home the point that I did exactly the right thing in sleeping with DS the way I did.

I get what you are saying but don't feel bad about it. I bed shared with J and now do with the girls. Its the only way I get any sleep. With J he refused a paci and was just an all around horrible sleeper. With the girls it's because there are two of them and I got tired of running down the hall all the time for all of their feedings, teething, sick related wake ups. You do what you have to do.

[CloudBee]

Only a few times. We all slept better with him in his own bed.

He slept with us several times during our first vacation. He nursed, and I slept. But at home, it just never worked well for us.

[Deleted]

Dec 17, 2014 9:19:02 GMT -5 @starry said:

Pretty sure bed sharing is the minority in this country. But I will continue BEC in my corner at those with good sleepers who would NEVER do it.

[pinotgrig]

We have not so far. H is a really heavy sleeper and was always terrified he'd roll over on the baby if he were ever in bed with us. H does this to me on a semi-regular basis, so I see his point.