Post by thebreakfastclub on Dec 18, 2014 5:51:03 GMT -5
I can't really remember. We don't exchange gifts. I think that was the first time I left DS overnight with my mom. He was 6 months old. That made it a great night.
My first Bday with Caramini was also Father's Day weekend.
I was giving a course at a resort, so we drove down as a family. He and Caramini hung out on the beach and at the hotel while I taught.
I planned a surprise for him every day:
1) Goodnight iPad 2) Cufflinks with Caramini's birthstone and mother of pearl 3) A case of Bordeaux futures from the year of Caramini's birth. A nice card that said that we should open them on special occasions: her first day of kindergarten, the first tooth she loses, her first date, etc. And one really nice bottle to save for her graduation from college or grad school or whatever.
He got me a soda stream. He uses that all.the.time. I never use it. It is the equivalent of a bowling ball that says "Homer".
Omg #3 just made me all teary! What a great idea! Sorry about your soda stream
Post by jeaniebueller on Dec 18, 2014 6:37:32 GMT -5
Yes. DS was two weeks old, we were both overwhelmed by being new parents, and I ended up sitting in the Walmart parking lot crying in my car. I can lol at myself now, but at the time, I felt awful.
With DD I don't remember. Nothing too memorable obviously.
With DS it was Mother's Day weekend as a result. We tried to take both our moms out for brunch and the waitress was really b*tchy at brunch. DD had her first (and one of few) temper tantrums of epic proportions. DS was 2.5 months and wanted to be held. I didn't even eat. H sat happily munching which at the time upset me, but honestly was the best course of action for a lot of reasons, so lose lose all around.
Then I wanted a set of heavy duty adirondack chairs for out by our swingset. Apparently they don't make them or were $$$$$.
A week later H made plans for a dinner and movie. Kids at grandmas. He got stuck in a work crisis so we ended up with dinner at Subway and a late movie I could barely stay awake for...lol.
Mine was good, but I've started to tell DH what I want.
I had planned to go shopping with DS, but DH surprised me and took the day off so we could all go! I taught that morning and DH was home so I didn't have to get DS ready for the gym, which is nice. We drove 45 minutes to have lunch and shop which was nice. I didn't get anything but it was still fun to browse. Then later that night we went to dinner. We didn't go anywhere fancy but it's easier with DS. He was seven months old. DS got me two books, "Are you my mother?" And "goodnight stinky face", along with our college team jello molds (lol), I can't remember what DH got me. I'm typing it all out here so when someone asks again in two years and I forget I can reference this thread.
Go get some great stuff with the Target GC and treat yourself to a mani/pedi.
I would just plan something together in the future. H and I plan our birthday outings together. I ask him what he wants to do and we both work together to make it happen. I give him a few hints leading up to my birthday of stuff I would like.
My first birthday with DS was definitely more low key. We just all went for a picnic at a winery. It was nice.
I do remember my first "mom birthday". But just barely.
It was Easter weekend, about 2 months after my younger sister died. DH was on a business trip. My parents sort of forgot my birthday, my DH came home with OTC aspirin and codiene, some Typhoo tea bags and a Hamley's Steif commemorative teddy bear for DS.
LOL, for my first Mothers Day, we ended up doing an outing on the local steam train and having breakfast at McDonald's. DH assumed all the dads there with children were divorced and judged them for having visitation of the kids on Mothers Day. What an ass; I had to explain to him that good husbands take their kids out so their wives can sleep in, have a nice long shower and some time to themselves. He took the hint the next year.
I have zero memory. But I have to say last Christmas DH walks up to me on Christmas EVE mind you and was like oh hey why don't you go to the spa for a day for your Christmas gift. Not like here's a gift card just mentions I should go. The romance is off the charts yo!
I confess that mine was pretty good, but DH's royally sucked. DD was born on 8/9, his 31st birthday was 9/13. So she was about 5 weeks old, and we were right in the middle of newborn hell. On top of that, my H had started a new job on 7/1, that came with a 3 hour per day commute. He is a school administrator, and kids started school on Monday, 9/9, his birthday was that Friday. This is relevant because his summer hours are far shorter than his school year hours, so that was my first week fully on my own all day long.
I had lined up my parents to babysit, and we went out to a local restaurant we love. He was super late because of traffic, I was frustrated. We spent the entire meal arguing, while I tried (unsuccessfully) to fight back tears. We were both just so exhausted and stressed. It was rough, and I still feel guilty that it happened on his birthday.
By the time my birthday rolled around (10/12), we were in a routine and just in a better place. We also go to Vermont with friends for Columbus Day weekend every year, and my birthday fell on that weekend, so having built in plans made it easier.
Um, no! Not at all! Your DH totally dropped the ball on this one. Just because you have a kid now doesn't mean a pack of baby clothes qualifies as a present. It's almost insulting.
Granted, my birthday was eight months after DD was born, but DH planned an elaborate surprise party where he flew in my best friends from out of town.
Heck, even for Mother's Day, which was two weeks after DD was born, he managed to get me a beautiful bracelet.
Post by scribellesam on Dec 18, 2014 8:48:54 GMT -5
Mine was good, but it's two weeks before DS1's so he was almost a year old by the time it happened. I also plan my own birthdays so it's hard to be disappointed. I turned 30 and we went for our first overnight away from DS1 to Disneyland for a couple days.
My birthday is just a few days after my husband's, so whatever effort I put into his gets returned to me. Things are not looking good for either of us. I'm most excited about taking the day off from work and napping all day.
But, birthdays have never been a big deal for either of us. Typically they involve a gift selected from an Amazon wish list and the other one cooking dinner.
It was my 40th and M was barely 3 months old. We did absolutely nothing. I got no gifts. We were in survival mode and I just didn't care. Plus it was so close to the holidays, I had just gone back to work PT and was trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do for everyone else for their holiday gifts.
But H and I are not really gift people or big on B-days. Normally we buy something for the house or a trip and just call is b-day and xmas for that year.
Sorry you are down and things didn't go the way you wanted.
I was 30 that year. We had dinner at my parents house and cake. He got me a GC for a spa day which I used a few days later--that was great. He knows a spa day is always better than what he would come up with on his own lol
Post by cincodemayo on Dec 18, 2014 9:38:17 GMT -5
I'm pleasantly surprised to admit my H actually did a good job. We had dinner with friends and family at a restaurant that I picked (although it was not kid friendly and that caused some issues, oops) and he hand picked a Kate Spade wallet which I loved. Our first Christmas with a baby was definitely not as good!!
For DD1, my bday is on Halloween, so we passed out candy and then we went to dinner afterwards. Exactly what I wanted. Now, for my 30th bday while I pregnant with her, I was depressed it was my 30th and said I didn't want anything, and didn't even want to celebrate. . .which DH followed to a T, lol.
Then when I burst into tears and said I couldn't believe he didn't even get me a card or flowers,he was so confused because I told him specifically not to get me anything, and I said, well, you know that's not what I meant. Yeah, not my finest moment, and not really the best excuse, but I blamed it on my hormones.
It was pretty lame. I turned 29 and I remember telling him he better step up his game the next year when I turned 30. The next year was equally lame. In his defense, DH is not great at that kind of stuff and I knew that when I married him.
Yes! Awful. B was seven months old and we had just moved. We were pretty broke. I told DH two weeks beforehand if he wanted to get a babysitter to text her soon so it could be booked. He was like "I don't want to spend the money." SO I decided to go to my alumni party instead. The morning of my birthday I was going to work and I was in a real pissy mood. DH texted me ten minutes later to say he got the babysitter and we would go to the alumni party together.
Birthday saved, right? Nope. We had a nice time at the party except the babysitter said B had woken up and cried a few times. I assumed she did something wrong because falling asleep is NEVER a problem B has had. He passes out like a champ. I drink a few too many cocktails (I almost never drink liquor but the party was a little fancy so I went with it).
We get home, have sex, pass out. Cue 2 a.m., B wakes up screaming. And screaming. He screamed for two straight hours like he has never done before or since. DH let me go back to bed because I was already getting hungover and just laid on his floor and rocked him. The next morning I felt like a truck hit me. B had his first ear infection.
Yeah, I don't remember it at all. Not only was I mother to a 4 month old, it was the day after Christmas, I was turning thirtysomething (I don't really give a shit about any of the birthdays these days), and I was in the middle of diagnosing some troubling abdominal pain, so I couldn't eat or drink anything fun, anyway. Oh, and I was super depressed about returning to work. I'm not even sure we did anything.
Post by dougthedogsmom on Dec 18, 2014 9:52:22 GMT -5
Sorry your birthday was rough. I would be sad and disappointed too.
DD was born exactly 1 week before my birthday. DH somehow lost a day and didn't realize that it was my actual birthday until around 11:00 am when he promptly rushed out to get me a gift. He did make my special birthday dinner, but forgot to get a cake. I give him a pass because it was the first, very sleep deprived week.
Now Mother's Day was a different story. He said it "didn't count" since I was still (very) pregnant. I bought myself a Kate Spade diaper bag as punishment for that lapse in judegment.
Post by Velar Fricative on Dec 18, 2014 9:53:36 GMT -5
Yes, my birthday was great this year but totally just due to circumstance - the Rangers happened to be playing a home playoff game that day so my mom babysat while we attended, and they won! Then DH bought Carvel ice cream cake later that evening (it was a daytime game). DD was almost 7 months so no newborn fog, which also helped.
If not for the game, we probably would have laid low - we generally don't exchange gifts for birthdays and just go out for a nice dinner or something.
I'm sorry to everyone who had sucky birthdays. It's really hard when expectations don't pan out and it's fine to feel all kinds of things about that.
My first birthday with C was 6 months ago and for the life of me I cannot remember anything about the day. I know it was a weekday and I worked, but I can't recall doing anything special that week. And H bought me a bike. Which is...not at all what I wanted (and I have ridden it exactly once), but still sweet because he figured that then we could all do something together as a family with SS who loves to ride his bike.
DH gave me two 3-packs of onesies and a $50 target gift card.
We used to go out to fancy dinners and shows.
I know my DH is overwhelmed with life right now. He's a procrastinator, and was alone with the baby the weekend before my birthday, but man my birthday sucked this year.
And I keep hearing coworkers talk about the gifts they are so excited to give their wives. I'm just kind of down in the dumps I guess.
What the heck with the onsies? That's a not a gift for you.
Jewelery is always the right answer when you don't know what to buy a woman. In this day and age you point, click, and it's delivered to your door the next day. You don't even have to leave the house.
Sorry he dropped the ball on this one. You know he loves you though. Sometimes bad gifts happen to good people.
lauren170 I have had shitty birthdays in the past too where my H f-ed up so I feel you. I hop eit gets better.
The one right before baby was the worst. We were on vacation in Whistler but my H did not plan anything or do anything special for my bday. He said he thought the trip was enough but it was a trip I had planned by myself.
Anyways, 1st bday after baby (2 weeks old) the night before was the worst night of sleep ever. She basically screamed throughout the night and we were shuffling her between the swing, rnp, and pnp. We got 3 hours of sleep total and had to drive her to the hospital for a check up. We ate wings for lunch and got Macaroni Grill to-go for dinner and my H bought a little cake and got me an edible arrangement.