Returned gift etiquette question

[kershnic]

A family friend/friend of my parents bought us really nice, really expensive, baby snowsuits.  They were sized logically per the tag, but WAY too big for at least one if not both of my babies for this season.  They also were not exactly our style, and warmer than what we were planning to buy for this season.  After a lot of deliberation we returned them to REI and now have a giftcard. The store didn't have the same suit available, so we were unable to exchange for a different size even if we wanted to do so.  They also didn't have anything else we wanted for this winter, so we ended up buying inexpensive fleece (much thinner & less warm than the gift) buntings elsewhere.  Our plan is to save the store credit and purchase expensive coats for next winter from the same brand.

When I made the return the cashier had a lot of issues and didn't entirely seem to know what he was doing.  In the process of him figuring out how to do it I learned that the person who gifted these item is an "REI member."  I asked if the return would result in any sort of email or other notification to the gifter and he basically said "Um, I don't think so, no."  

Well, now we're going to see the gifter next week on vacation.  Probably 3-4 times.  In weather that is much colder than our typical weather at home and would therefore be an entirely appropriate condition under which to use her gift.  So she's going to notice that we don't have them.  

Do I explain the whole thing unprompted?  Wait for her to ask?  Play up the fact that the store didn't have the right size for exchange?  Ignore it and pretend it didn't happen?

[dcn]

We are REI members, they shouldn't get a notification. They may notice when they get their dividend but we don't keep close track so I can't imagine other people do.

I would only address it if they ask, and I'd say oh they are great suits unfortunately they are too big for this year! And just drop it.

[Deleted]

If she asks i would just say they're too big and you're saving them for next year.

[shellbear09]

Oops yeah I would just say they are too big for this year. Only explain when asked.

[kershnic]

My fear about saying they're too big is if she got notified that I returned then she'll know I'm lying.

[loreleigilmore]

tell her they were too big and you tried to exchange em but there was nothing in the right size. I would not be offended by that. Just say you plan on holding on to the g/c until next year when you can buy new ones.

[VillainV]

I think it's fine to thank them and explain that the size didn't work and you couldn't exchange, so you'll use the store credit for next year. No big deal :-).

[rikki]

Yes, I think I would just say the sizing was off and with not knowing how the babies will grow, you did not want to risk that they would not be able to be used next year either. Thank her again and tell her you look forward to buying suits for the babies again soon!

[YahYahs]

Say you exchanged them for the right size but they are on backorder, and darn it, they just didn't come in on time for the trip.

She'll probably know you're not saving them for next year - they'd be unlikely to fit a year from now if they were sized for their current ages.

[kershnic]

Dec 19, 2014 13:26:30 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

If they are actual snowsuits (like the thick puffy kind), it is pretty unlikely that non-mobile/newly mobile babies would wear them even in colder weather. It's not like they are going to be out playing in the snow, you can't use them in the carseat, and unless you are going to be hiking with them or have ski attachments for your stroller, I'm not sure when you would use them or when gift-giver would expect to see the kids in it. We got six snowsuits when DD1 was born, LOL, so I've had these thoughts before.

Regardless, I would just say that they were too big for your tiny babies and they didn't have the correct size, so you're waiting until the correct size is back in stock. That's nice and open-ended.

You are wise  The coat version of the snowsuits is car-seat approved as per the car seat lady, but I kind of doubt that the snowsuit version is.  We don't really spend a lot of time in the car though, so I suppose they could wear them in the stroller.  I'm sure we'll go roll around in the snow and take some screaming pictures when the time comes, but obviously they won't be playing in it this year!  Six snowsuits is intense.

[kershnic]

Dec 19, 2014 13:49:12 GMT -5 @fivedogs said:

Dec 19, 2014 13:42:29 GMT -5 kershnic said:

You are wise  The coat version of the snowsuits is car-seat approved as per the car seat lady, but I kind of doubt that the snowsuit version is.  We don't really spend a lot of time in the car though, so I suppose they could wear them in the stroller.  I'm sure we'll go roll around in the snow and take some screaming pictures when the time comes, but obviously they won't be playing in it this year!  Six snowsuits is intense.

LOL - the ones we got were SO puffy that a baby would be unable to move in it.  I'm not sure we could have even wedged her in the infant seat, much less buckled the straps.  These were all NB and 0-3 sizes too, so she was even less likely to roll in the snow (DD1 was a November baby).  The best part is that they all came from relatives in NJ - and we live in NC.  It snows maybe once a year, and we don't even own a snow shovel.  It always melts within a day.  

This is similar to one of the thinner ones we got.  

I guess people thought they were cute?  Or worried your November baby would be cold??  Hopefully you found good alternative homes for them... GBCN Canada holiday exchange?  

My girls were born 6 weeks early at the end of February so no one really got excited about buying us warm things last year.  But this winter we'll obviously be out a bit more than that.

We live in NJ and I still think the snowsuits are ridiculous.  The gifter of our snowsuits lives in Minnesota so I can kind of understand - but she has lived here and knows the climate difference!