I'm not going to text him again. And I don't think closure is a myth, I feel comfortable walking away from this now, whereas before I didn't.
I hope it's different for you than it has been for myself and just about everyone else that I've heard say the same thing. haha. I've felt comfortable walking away like a million times, but I always come back to wanting to talk to him again and hearing just one more answer...
Anyway, regardless, I'm glad. <3
Thank you! I really, truly don't want to talk to him again.
LOL, I didn't see this thread before posting in achase's FF. So I'll repost.
I usually prefer shorter sessions too. XH would go and go and go. Ugh, it was exhausting; and part of the reason I never wanted to do it. He INSISTED that I get off first, which sometimes I knew wasn't going to happen, but he'd still try. And try. And try. BF is so much better! It's not a wham, bam, thank you ma'am, but it doesn't go on forever. And he will finish and then help me finish myself, which sometimes I really prefer!
Post by spunkypenguin on Dec 19, 2014 16:22:41 GMT -5
I'm still FB friends with ex and all her family (and I know that I probably shouldn't be). Her aunt posted pictures of her house decorated for Christmas - that's where we always go and where she'll be going this year. It's making me really sad. I miss ex's family more than I miss her.
It's really nice to have all the money to yourself! I've bought myself several Christmas presents since I don't really have anyone to get me any this year. I've joked that the UPS man is my Santa this year b/c it seems like I have a new package to open every day when I get home.
I like long sessions, if they're not too aggressive (stbx could never go for more than 20-30 minutes). But I also like quickies. I don't discriminate
Haha, see I loooove aggressive sex.
Which is also why I love that BF is on the smaller side. XH was too big for me, anatomically. BF can hit HARD and I only feel pleasure. XH would try to go slow and it still hurt.
Which is also why I love that BF is on the smaller side. XH was too big for me, anatomically. BF can hit HARD and I only feel pleasure. XH would try to go slow and it still hurt.
This is my problem. I need a dude who is a good size to do doggy style with that won't hurt when he's aggressive about it, but conversely big enough that he won't slide out easily. LOL. I've had moments where I felt like my cervix was going to rupture. That's not pleasurable for me.
That was probably the most eye-opening thing about being single. That sex doesn't always hurt. I've been with a few above-average guys, and while some positions are great with them, I can do ALL the positions with a guy who is a little smaller. I just have weird (short) anatomy.
Honestly, I could NEVER do doggy with XH. Now it's my favorite.
I like long sessions, if they're not too aggressive (stbx could never go for more than 20-30 minutes). But I also like quickies. I don't discriminate
Haha, see I loooove aggressive sex.
Which is also why I love that BF is on the smaller side. XH was too big for me, anatomically. BF can hit HARD and I only feel pleasure. XH would try to go slow and it still hurt.
That was probably the most eye-opening thing about being single. That sex doesn't always hurt. I've been with a few above-average guys, and while some positions are great with them, I can do ALL the positions with a guy who is a little smaller. I just have weird (short) anatomy.
Honestly, I could NEVER do doggy with XH. Now it's my favorite.
Was sex painful for you b/c of endo? Sex has always been slightly painful for me:( Thank God I love oral and H loves to give it, plus we use Mr. Hitachi often. We are a good match for my issues. Sexual compatibility can be so complicated!
I believe so, yes. But I also have some weird anatomy things going on that, once discovered, made a lot of things suddenly very clear. I think I have a shorter than average canal, probably a side-effect of having complete uterine septum. I'm also tipped back, which means that if a guy is average+, unless he is aiming down, toward my lower back, he's hitting me in uncomfortable places.
I believe so, yes. But I also have some weird anatomy things going on that, once discovered, made a lot of things suddenly very clear. I think I have a shorter than average canal, probably a side-effect of having complete uterine septum. I'm also tipped back, which means that if a guy is average+, unless he is aiming down, toward my lower back, he's hitting me in uncomfortable places.
I have a short cervix, that's the only other thing I now. When I had an HSG, they had a really hard time getting the thingy in there to stay so they could put the catheter in. It was quite painful:(
I never had an HSG, but I did have a sonohysterogram (saline instead of contrast dye, and ultrasound instead of xray). Now. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, most of the time. That was BY FAR the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I nearly threw up. Granted it was 6 weeks or so after surgery to remove the septum (and it was to check to make sure the septum was fully ressected). But OMG.
Post by onedayatatime on Dec 19, 2014 21:09:37 GMT -5
My flameful is that I am being stubborn and ridiculous...
The holidays have been hard on me this year (my first year single) and I have really trying to fake it till I make it and keep my spirits high. I guess I have been faking it well -- no one seems to suspect anything. Which makes me feel sad and hurt that no one in my family and none of my friends have asked how I am doing or thought that it might be hard.
I know I need to tell them that it's hard -- but I wish they would just ask.
My flameful is that I am being stubborn and ridiculous...
The holidays have been hard on me this year (my first year single) and I have really trying to fake it till I make it and keep my spirits high. I guess I have been faking it well -- no one seems to suspect anything. Which makes me feel sad and hurt that no one in my family and none of my friends have asked how I am doing or thought that it might be hard.
I know I need to tell them that it's hard -- but I wish they would just ask.
I get this. It seems like such an obvious thing someone would ask--especially family. But you can't blame them for your excellent acting skills.
And for the record, just to stick with the theme, I'd like to state that I love long rough sex seasions. I'll take quickies, soft loving, boring sex too... don't get me wrong.
J actually did a little hair pulling last night so I definitely kept encouraging that in a big way Hopefully positive reinforcement pays off!
Ugh... NG has only pulled my hair once and because I told him to. I don't want to have to give him direction every single time. I want him to be a bit more aggressive.
This may, or may not, be flameful, but the next person to tell me I am making the wrong decision by having surgery is going to get punched in the face or an earful! I'm tired. I'm nervous. I am stressed out. The last thing I want to hear from anyone is, " you know one wrong move and you could be paralyzed for the rest of your life?" No shit, Sherlock! You don't think this has consumed my life enough; so you feel you need to tell me this. This includes my brother's MiL. WTF fo' reals! I'm done! If I wanted your opinion, I would have rattled your cage!
This may, or may not, be flameful, but the next person to tell me I am making the wrong decision by having surgery is going to get punched in the face or an earful! I'm tired. I'm nervous. I am stressed out. The last thing I want to hear from anyone is, " you know one wrong move and you could be paralyzed for the rest of your life?" No shit, Sherlock! You don't think this has consumed my life enough; so you feel you need to tell me this. This includes my brother's MiL. WTF fo' reals! I'm done! If I wanted your opinion, I would have rattled your cage!
Not flameful at all -- they should be punched in the face.
It is a big decision, one you didn't take lightly and it is not for them to comment or make it harder for you. I'm sorry you have to deal with those kind of people.
Post by verycontrary247 on Dec 19, 2014 22:30:43 GMT -5
I'm irrationally pissed. Since I finally got my last name changed at work, I've had a few people ask about it. I inform them I'm divorced, and without fail- every one of them has asked if I have kids, then says "oh that's great then!" after I inform I don't. That shit cuts pretty deep, since 1. I wanted kids badly almost the entire time I was married and still do now 2. It's not like I have no residual fucked up issues from XH just because we didn't have kids.
Yes, I do realize that my situation went more smoothly because of our childless status but I still mourn for the kids I didn't have.
I'm irrationally pissed. Since I finally got my last name changed at work, I've had a few people ask about it. I inform them I'm divorced, and without fail- every one of them has asked if I have kids, then says "oh that's great then!" after I inform I don't. That shit cuts pretty deep, since 1. I wanted kids badly almost the entire time I was married and still do now 2. It's not like I have no residual fucked up issues from XH just because we didn't have kids.
Yes, I do realize that my situation went more smoothly because of our childless status but I still mourn for the kids I didn't have.
I don't think that's irrational at all. I'm sorry People say stupid shit.
Just got back from our work Xmas dinner. Our hospital didn't give us a party, so we planned a small dinner with the girls that are friendly....We planned for 7 and only 3 of us went...oh well. One girl left and there were only 2 of us...this chick got wasted and told me some crazy shit. I mean coworker serious gossip that included her that could really fuck people up. Now when I see certain people at work I'm going to side eye them. And I got a little tipsy too!
I'm irrationally pissed. Since I finally got my last name changed at work, I've had a few people ask about it. I inform them I'm divorced, and without fail- every one of them has asked if I have kids, then says "oh that's great then!" after I inform I don't. That shit cuts pretty deep, since 1. I wanted kids badly almost the entire time I was married and still do now 2. It's not like I have no residual fucked up issues from XH just because we didn't have kids.
Yes, I do realize that my situation went more smoothly because of our childless status but I still mourn for the kids I didn't have.
I completely get this - so many people have said this to me and it cuts every time. I'm sorry
I haven't had sex since March. 2013. Maybe I like my hair pulled? I can barely remember.
Its been Feb 2014 for me and I already feel this way. Who knows what I like anymore
I haven't had sex since before Halloween. I know that's not bad compared to you guys, but I sleep next to DH every night! The last time I suggested sex was at the beginning of November. His parents were going to coming to spend a week, and we were getting the guest room ready. We bought a new bed, and got it all put together, and I (kind of) jokingly asked if he wanted to christen it. His answer was, and I'm only slightly paraphrasing here, was "Ick." He had a hangup about having sex in the bed where his mom and dad would be sleeping, but seriously, the guy shot me down for sex. Does good things for the ego.
I'm irrationally pissed. Since I finally got my last name changed at work, I've had a few people ask about it. I inform them I'm divorced, and without fail- every one of them has asked if I have kids, then says "oh that's great then!" after I inform I don't. That shit cuts pretty deep, since 1. I wanted kids badly almost the entire time I was married and still do now 2. It's not like I have no residual fucked up issues from XH just because we didn't have kids.
Yes, I do realize that my situation went more smoothly because of our childless status but I still mourn for the kids I didn't have.
That sucks, and people need to shut their piehole. If these people are close enough to know the circumstances around your divorce, they already know the answer, and if they aren't close enough to know, they don't need to know. Just tell them that you don't want to talk about it. That will let them know 1)They are crossing a boundary, and 2)They're not good enough friends with you to ask those kind of questions. And then I hope they are properly embarrassed, but people like this never are.
Thanks. DH is definitely on my shit list. And you know how that goes, the more it happens, the harder it is to give a shit that it's all going to work. So, while I'm not starting over right now, I'm less and less worried that I will be in the future.