Post by 1confused1 on Dec 19, 2014 15:37:53 GMT -5
I have a close friend (we've known each other for about 7 years) and I am kind of her only friend, she was a huge support for me during my divorce. She has been having marriage troubles for pretty much the entire time I've known her, I always listen, I am always supportive, I offer advice when she asks, etc.
Here's the thing: I am SO TIRED of hearing about it and her not doing anything about it. She doesn't want to be divorced twice, she doesn't want to mess up her kid's life, she has made up her mind she is not going to leave and will continue to have this miserable experience.
Short of not hanging around with her, is there anything I can do? I feel bad because I am really her only friend, but I can't continue down this path of negativity every time we are together.
I had a friend who was like this but not about marriage. She had a lot of issues with family and friends. I was honest. I said I've given her all the support I can but only she has the power to change things. I told her if she wasn't willing to take some steps toward change I couldn't take on her problems anymore. I would still be her friend but couldn't listen to the negativity anymore. We're no longer friends and it's been such a huge weight for me honestly.
I broke off a "friendshit" that was like this. She was super negative and super toxic. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. EVERYTHING was doom and gloom for her, yet when I was having issues she never wanted to listen to me vent or was concerned about what was going on in my life. At the time I was going through a nasty divorce.
I realized it was time to cut her out, so I started saying no when asked me to do things. Eventually she stopped asking and finally got the hint. We don't speak anymore and it's fine with me.
Post by 1confused1 on Dec 20, 2014 12:05:32 GMT -5
Thanks everyone! I told her last night that she knows what she needs to do and I will support her but she needs to do something or stop complaining about it. I told her I just want her and her daughter to be happy.