Spanking study

[Beener]

Interesting, thanks! I missed the initial discussion but DH and I have decided we will not be spanking our kids. I live in a family where this is against the norm so it is always good to have some facts to back up our decision because inevitably, the whole, "well I was spanked and I turned out just fine" comes up every few times we get together.

[alicia45]

Thank you! I posted it to my wall. I must have missed this spanking discussion. It was probably a good one too.

[ruby412]

This is very interesting! I also missed the spanking discussion. I will say it, though. I was spanked as a child and I am fine. No aggression to others, great relationship with my parents, healthy relationships with guys.

That said, I will never spank my kids. I know too much about behavior mod, and that's not the way to do it.

[laurensmomma]

I was reading an article about adhd, and how French children have such a less rate of diagnosis than American children. It strated to be about how the French doctors believe that there is a psychological symptom behind the behavior and so they treat that instead of medicating. I thought it sounded pretty good until the article said other possible contributing factors are the lack of spanking and discipline in the American home. Oh, and that we don't believe in cry it out at 4 months of age, even for just a few minutes. That really irritated me.

[christidee]

It's very interesting. Both my brother and I were spanked with objects as children. While I like to think I turned out just fine, I was diagnosed with depression in college. I also suffered through an eating disorder, and I am currently in therapy to deal with my mom issues. I think having a narcissist as a mother is more likely the culprit. My brother has a suitcase of issues as well: dui, multiple arrests, theft, drug use, and more.

We have not ruled out spanking as a punishment, but we both agree that it is the last thing we want to try. Right now time outs are effective. For the few times they aren't, taking a toy away is very effective.

[ashleydl83]

Dec 21, 2014 11:07:33 GMT -5 ruby412 said:

This is very interesting! I also missed the spanking discussion. I will say it, though. I was spanked as a child and I am fine. No aggression to others, great relationship with my parents, healthy relationships with guys.

That said, I will never spank my kids. I know too much about behavior mod, and that's not the way to do it.

This is me, to a T. Both my brothers are incredibly well-adjusted, upstanding citizens lol. I think there is a difference between spanking for discipline (without aggression) and parents who spank when they are mad, which can sometimes blur the lines between discipline and abuse.

That said, I just can't bring myself to do it. I've lightly popped their hands, but I just can't spank. All 3 have been raised the same, and they're all so different and respond to punishment different. I can ground Micah and he's ok with it. I can ground Eli and it's the end of the world. Discipline is just hard.

[claralou]

Dec 21, 2014 11:17:27 GMT -5 laurensmomma said:

I was reading an article about adhd, and how French children have such a less rate of diagnosis than American children. It strated to be about how the French doctors believe that there is a psychological symptom behind the behavior and so they treat that instead of medicating. I thought it sounded pretty good until the article said other possible contributing factors are the lack of spanking and discipline in the American home. Oh, and that we don't believe in cry it out at 4 months of age, even for just a few minutes. That really irritated me.

This is the kind of shit that sends me into a rage. I'm irritated too, and I haven't even read it.

[browneyedhunni85]

Thanks for the information. The more I research, the more I don't want to spank. I honestly feel like in the South spanking is the norm and it's so hard to break that cycle.

[jsillyfun]

Around here in middle class circles spanking us NOT the norm. People would be shocked and horrified to hear you spank. We are strongly against it and don't do it, but were both dpanked occasionally as kids. We are both fine but I still have resentment that I was spanked.