Should I get a Christmas gift for SIL?

[sjh722]

I would still send a gift.

[elocrates]

Hmmm...are you thinking that a gift card is enabling her alcoholism or enabling a relationship your DH doesn't want to have or?

I think a heartfelt card and a gift card would be very nice. I can only imagine how isolating it may feel to be battling addiction. And not being able to attend the family Christmas celebration because the family is celebrating outside the area where you are allowed to travel sounds...cruel? unfortunate? deliberate? (not on your part, just in general)

[matildasun]

I would at least send her something small, like a scarf.

[Deleted]

Send a token gift and card "from your niece". Even just chocolates or something.

[matildasun]

Dec 21, 2014 15:32:07 GMT -5 @starry said:

Dec 21, 2014 15:29:13 GMT -5 elocrates said:

Hmmm...are you thinking that a gift card is enabling her alcoholism or enabling a relationship your DH doesn't want to have or?

I think a heartfelt card and a gift card would be very nice. I can only imagine how isolating it may feel to be battling addiction. And not being able to attend the family Christmas celebration because the family is celebrating outside the area where you are allowed to travel sounds...cruel? unfortunate? deliberate? (not on your part, just in general)

I am thinking a gift card she can trade for drugs or something? I don't know. I also am sort of feeling weird about buying stuff for her when that is typically DH's "job" to buy gifts for his family.

This is why  I think a small clothing item, might be your best bet. Something that lets her know you are thinking of her, but something that isn't worth anything to anyone else.

[elocrates]

Dec 21, 2014 15:32:07 GMT -5 @starry said:

Dec 21, 2014 15:29:13 GMT -5 elocrates said:

Hmmm...are you thinking that a gift card is enabling her alcoholism or enabling a relationship your DH doesn't want to have or?

I think a heartfelt card and a gift card would be very nice. I can only imagine how isolating it may feel to be battling addiction. And not being able to attend the family Christmas celebration because the family is celebrating outside the area where you are allowed to travel sounds...cruel? unfortunate? deliberate? (not on your part, just in general)

I am thinking a gift card she can trade for drugs or something? I don't know. I also am sort of feeling weird about buying stuff for her when that is typically DH's "job" to buy gifts for his family.

I see what you are saying. However, I don't know that many drug dealers or liquor stores accept gift cards as payment, and most people who buy drugs for themselves don't want to "trade" them for things that aren't drugs. I work with a large population of homeless individuals and many of them struggle with addiction. I think most of them would very much appreciate the gesture of a gift card and I would be surprised if they would even attempt to trade it for substances. Obviously this is a generalization, but I hope this maybe assuaged your concerns a bit.

[Ashley&Scott]

I would still get her something.

[Deleted]

There are places that "cash" gift cards for half the face value, though. You don't have to find a dealer that takes target gc.

[carolinagirl831]

Something small I think, esp if you just sent her a birthday present

[hermione]

I'd make her cookies and have DD decorate them.

[Deleted]

A box of chocolates & a card would be thoughtful.

[zeewifeandmama]

Yep, I'd send something. Probably chocolates or cookies or something edible.

[greycat]

I would probably get her a small gift.

My brother is an adict and we do not have a relationship. I do get him a small present a Christmas and for his birthday. Usually a small gift box with body wash / deodorant (Old Spice or Axe) or a shirt. I do not consider this enabling him at all nor do I worry that he will trade it for drugs. Maybe he will but even without my gift he will still be able to gets drugs if he wants them.

Hugs to you and your H.