Post by cinnamoncox on Dec 22, 2014 13:32:45 GMT -5
I'm so sorry Ali. I would request an autopsy. I don't know the legalities, so if it were me, I'd consult with a malpractice attorney, maybe a case could be made for them doing it without any monetary cost to you. Was your mom in poor health prior to surgery? I would also request medical records, because don't they do pre op testing? My dad has had two cancers in two years, and the most recent one, during pre op testing they found something on chest X-ray that they had to look into before doing surgery, so I would certainly request these records. And an attorney, I'm so sorry. I wish you some semblance of peace during this terrible time.
This is so much to deal with on top of losing your mom. I think you got some great advice in here and I think in your shoes I'd want the autopsy as well.
My aunt died this year. She was living in an assisted living place and fell and broke a hip. She died in the hospital (after a long battle with cancer). Because she had fallen at the assisted living place they HAD TO do the autopsy, and her body will be buried/cremated (not sure what her wishes were, her kids know) sometime after that. It was mandatory to do the autopsy since she had fallen and been injured at the assisted living place.
You are well within proper lines to ask. Of course you want to know exactly what happened to her. She was your mom.
I'm so sorry Ali. Absolutely you are well within your rights to request an autopsy. As others have said, you can request your mom's records from the hospital and the nursing home.
My dad had a terrible time at a rehab center after a hip replacement over the summer. I ranted about it on here. Please PM me if you want to talk. ((hugs))
I don't know how ot works to request an autopsy but I'd find out and do it. There wasn't any question with either of my parents but had there been, we would have had an autopsy.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Be gentle with yourself, this will take time for the world to even look normal to you again. You may think it does but it won't be until the this starts to lift that you realize your world hasn't looked right. It took 18 months for me with my mom, another friend told me it took her a year - and they didn't even get along. So be gentle with yourself, be patient and kind to YOU. Everything doesn't have to be done in a day, do anything and everything at the pace that is right for you.
On a weird and logistical note - be sure to order multiple copies of the death certificate. In Ohio it's faster to just order them all at the same time, going back for more can be slow. You may have a lot of things to cancel that require originals, others will allow you to send a copy and a few things will allow you to fax in a copy. I ordered 13 for my mom, I have 2 left.
I'm so sorry for your loss! I mostly lurk but saw this thread today. I lost my 84 year old father in April, while he was in a nursing home. Yes, I know there is quite an age difference between my dad and your Mom but the circumstances sound similar. Dad had several major surgeries and recoevered from the first two and was well on his way to recovering from the last surgery when he suddenly passed away. Prior to his death, I had to "ride" the doctors and nursing home staff in order to get my dad the care he needed (because he had so many complications and wasn't bad enough for the hospital but needed more care than a nursing home could provide). This included having to fire one of the docs on his case who told me that I should "just let him die." The point of this is that nursing home care is often NOT enough or the quality that is required to take care of its patients. If you have any doubts, you definitely should push for an autopsy. Don't take no for an answer! It is entirely your prerogative to have this done (but as others have said, you may have to pay for it).
There's a lot that can happen after a major surgery, regardless of the age of the patient. If your mom was in poor health prior to the surgery, that makes it more difficult. And the "dementia-like" behavior that your Mom experienced after her surgery is very, very common (they call it postoperative delirium). My dad had it after every one of his surgeries and to get over it, the patient often needs almost round the clock care because they forget to eat and drink so they end up dehydrated. Most nursing homes are not equipped to handle this (they tend to check on the patient every couple of hours and just assume if food or water is put in front of them that they'll eat).
At some point, as hard as it is to realize this, if you get an autopsy and it comes back inconclusive, you may have to wrap your mind around the possibility that she fell into the small percentage of surgery patients that don't recover. I know for my Dad, it was a miracle that he lived thru all of the procedures that he had over that 3 months timeframe and I'm just glad that I got to spend the time with him that I did.
I would act on it now if possible (by which I mean pursue getting one). You can always decide not to act on or even read the results, but this way you're giving yourself the option.