WaPo: Unbelievable Rise of Single Mothers

[pinkdutchtulips]

I did everything 'right' - graduated from college, started a career, got married, THEN had dd (at nearly 35) ... and yet I still ended up as a single mother !

staying married would have had disastrous consequences for dd and myself.

[demelza]

Poverty is the biggest factor.

[niq]

There was a good piece about this on Vox as well. Won't C&P the whole thing but worth reading.

www.vox.com/2014/6/20/5824594/marriage-an-upper-class-luxury

[Deleted]

Dec 22, 2014 12:51:50 GMT -5 demelza said:

Poverty is the biggest factor.

I agree with this. Even with a college degree, it would be much much harder to be a single mother. I'd have less money for wants, it would mostly cover needs, and it would be harder to move forward in my job since I wouldn't be able to work long hours. However,, I think it would depend on how active the father is in the kids life. If he provided support, help with care, etc-I think there would be little difference.

[Deleted]

Dec 22, 2014 12:45:07 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

I did everything 'right' - graduated from college, started a career, got married, THEN had dd (at nearly 35) ... and yet I still ended up as a single mother !

staying married would have had disastrous consequences for dd and myself.

Well, at least you're white, so you'll probably be fine.

Obviously, some of the rise is that women don't feel compelled to stay in terrible marriages, which is probably a very good thing. I'm not sure where the rest of the rise comes from.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Dec 22, 2014 14:23:47 GMT -5 flygirl said:

Dec 22, 2014 12:51:50 GMT -5 demelza said:

Poverty is the biggest factor.

I agree with this. Even with a college degree, it would be much much harder to be a single mother. I'd have less money for wants, it would mostly cover needs, and it would be harder to move forward in my job since I wouldn't be able to work long hours. However,, I think it would depend on how active the father is in the kids life. If he provided support, help with care, etc-I think there would be little difference.

speaking from experience - yes it is. money for needs is there but wants .. few and far between. I'm willing to spend $ on dd's girl scout stuff but stuff for me, I can wait. I can move forward in my job but that means at a different firm closer to home so I can make a daycare pick up cutoff working longer hours AND the ability to work from home so I can work after dd goes to bed.

her dad is USELESS - no support, no care but also its an extraordinary circumstance- substance abuse + anger management issues. for most divorced parents, the aim is a civilized relationship where they can co-parent. this isn't always the case.

[minzy]

pinkdutchtulips - I just want to give you a hug.  It's got to be hard as hell in your shoes, and I admire you for doing the best you can for your kid.  She is lucky to have you.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Dec 22, 2014 16:00:17 GMT -5 minzy said:

pinkdutchtulips - I just want to give you a hug.  It's got to be hard as hell in your shoes, and I admire you for doing the best you can for your kid.  She is lucky to have you.

thanks .. I do what I can, when I can.

[h]

Dec 22, 2014 14:23:47 GMT -5 flygirl said:

Dec 22, 2014 12:51:50 GMT -5 demelza said:

Poverty is the biggest factor.

I agree with this. Even with a college degree, it would be much much harder to be a single mother. I'd have less money for wants, it would mostly cover needs, and it would be harder to move forward in my job since I wouldn't be able to work long hours. However,, I think it would depend on how active the father is in the kids life. If he provided support, help with care, etc-I think there would be little difference.

I think this is true. I noticed little (no?) difference between having two parents living together and having a single mom, and I really don't think my siblings and I were negatively impacted. But my dad provided generous enough financial support that their divorce did not change our standard of living, which obviously makes a huge difference.