Dating & race preferences

[imalwaysme79]

I'll only date white guys.

[imalwaysme79]

Yep. It's just what I prefer I guess.

[gozf]

/bites tongue

[gozf]

Lol. Ok.

It is NOT SHOCKING to me that someone who choses a screen name about her NASCAR obsession will only date white guys.

[gozf]

Also, though I have no preference with regard to race - and have casually dated a a variety of men - my serious relationships have all been with Caucasians.

[imalwaysme79]

So because I like NASCAR, and pretty much all other sports mind you, means that I should date other races? I don't mind if other people are in interracial relationships, it's just not for me. I would simply rather be with a white guy. By the way, I'm not a redneck or a hillbilly or whatever other term you'd like to use. I also have all my teeth and don't sport a beer belly.

[gozf]

Aug 4, 2012 22:14:49 GMT -5 imalwaysme79 said:

So because I like NASCAR, and pretty much all other sports mind you, means that I should date other races? I don't mind if other people are in interracial relationships, it's just not for me. I would simply rather be with a white guy. By the way, I'm not a redneck or a hillbilly or whatever other term you'd like to use. I also have all my teeth and don't sport a beer belly.

You're the one painting the picture, sister. Don't get pissed at me for noticing!

ETA: Additionally, I'm happy to hear that you don't mind other people's interracial relationships. That's really big of you, really gracious.

[miss1991]

To answer your question, I am not dating, I am married. I had no specific preference it matter most that I was physically attracted to the person an they treated me well. I don' t know if it matter' s but I am white married to Hispanic. Good luck dating! I think I will ignore the other post.

[ravenb1111]

I prefer black... And I'm white

[liubotflittyfud]

I've only dated Caucasians before J. He's half white, half black. It doesn't matter to me as long as I'm treated nicely.


Life is life.

[jdbyogi]

I guess I'm pretty open minded regarding race with respect to dating, but I find black guys insanely hot. I guess I've dated mostly white guys or black guys, but XH was hispanic. I'm white. There were more cultural challenges being married into a somewhat traditional Latino family that I expected, and it was always somewhat hard to manage their familial expectations with mine. I need to go in with my eyes much more open in the future.

[jdbyogi]

So this is going to be a bit long, sorry. I know every family is different, but these issues are pretty common, especially in 1st and 2nd generation families.

A big thing was the expectation that women care for the house and the men. XBIL was the only other brother that married a white woman, and it was this weird dynamic that they were "whipped" if we got what we wanted regarding, well, anything. The other wives were, at least outwardly, very submissive to their husbands.

When his parents needed anything, especially money, there was an expectation that all of the boys WOULD give them money, i.e. replace the roof on their home, even though they could easily afford these things themselves.

It became very obvious when his father became increasingly ill and the family was completely unwilling to talk about end of life planning. My grandmother was dying at the same time, and it was very interesting to watch how each family dealt with these decisions, and stress in general.

Oh, and we ended up living next door to MIL, FIL, 2 BIL's, their wives and kids, and down the street from another BIL and his family for over a year and a half. This is not terribly uncommon amongst 1st generation families with some $$. This did exacerbate everything. When we bought a house 15 minutes away, we were "abandoning" the family.

[marynjoe]

I'm an equal opportunity girl. I started dating interracially soon after I started dating. It never mattered to me. I just like a good, decent guy. DH is another race from me, born in another country, English is not his first language. I find the differences to be quite attractive.

[jdbyogi]

His parents were much older, and it was this loyalty thing- they care for you when you are young, you care for them when they are old. And a way to demonstrate that you have "made it"

[bullygirl979]

I consider myself an equal opportunity dater. There are some ethnicities that I find more physically attractive than others, but if I was attracted to the guy, I wouldn't say no just because he is Indian, Asian, Hispanic, etc.

[blackkitty]

I'm white and I typically date white guys. My current BF is white, but my last boyfriend was Hispanic. I've dated a few black guys. The last black guy I went out with though seemed pretty hung up on the fact that we were different races. It's kind of a big deal where I live. People are very racist around here. I've actually heard guys say they won't date a girl that have dated black guys.

Also, I have a single friend and I wanted to set her up with my brother. She is white and has two daughters, one is black and one is mixed. She asked if he would go out with her if her kids were black/ part black.

[dakotadangerdog]

Mostly I have dated white guys, one ltr was with an Asian guy. I don't have anything against other races, I'm not a fan of having to deal with cultural differences, but I have no problem with guys for just being a different race. If I had to live on the same street as my in laws and was expected to pay for their roof I would cut a bitch.

[heavenly]

I am open to any race but after 2 serious relationships with those who moved into the US had strong culture ties to the country they moved from (Tunisia - Aabic culture and Hispanic - south of Mexico), I now avoid dating those with very different culture background that is prevalent with how they live presently.

[Deleted]

My exH is Moroccan, born there with a strong Arab Muslim background. NEVER AGAIN. Never never never.
My long term ex bf was a Russian Jew (non practicing) and we were fantastic in the culture department, very similar. I'm Polish American and catholic(not religious) I have no problem with interracial relationships. But for me, I'm sticking much closer to home. Someone American, christian or jewish, White or possibly Hispanic.

[expatpumpkin]

White Latinos.

And that's what I married.

[mclovin]

Pretty much have dated white guys. Not sure what the background of one guy was, but at 17 I didn't care and never asked. Started dated STBXH when I was 18. Scary having to think about re-entering the dating world.

I sure as hell don't want someone who can't move 15 minutes from mama and pays for a roof when the parents can afford it. I want someone who pays for the roof because his parents need it and would otherwise do without.

[leahmel]

Nope. I have dated black/white/hispanic and am open to dating any race. People who exclude a person because of his or her skin tone are selling themself really short with options. I understand that everyone has preferences reguarding what they like, looks-wise, but if someone suits all of your qualifications and race is the reason you won't date, I can't see that as anything but shallow and ignorant.

[Deleted]

I've dated white guys only. I am attracted to black guys but it just never happened.
I also find Korean and Japanese guys very hot. Indians guys in my area are all nerds working in IT and I don't find them attractive at all.

I guess if the guy is above 5'8, fit and dresses nicely, I'll date him no matter the race lol.

[starburst604]

Im generally most attracted to white guys, but my high school bf was half Dominican and I went on a date with an Indian guy once.

[starburst604]

Oh and totally forgot I dated someone of Iranian decent once. He's a great guy, we're still friends. I just wasn't into him that way.

[blackkitty]

Aug 5, 2012 17:43:47 GMT -5 @tjenbell said:

Aug 5, 2012 15:53:01 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

I agree. I'm open to any race, but my preference is white and Hispanic.

What got me thinking about this question is my preferences when filling out my online dating profile. I've been thinking if I shouldn't put I have a preference so I don't limit myself, but then I might have an influx of ppl I'm not attracted to. Idk.

For some, though, it's not just about skin tone. It might be that they are physically attracted to men with straight long hair, or blue eyes, or brown eyes only, or big lips, or a certain stature -- features found more prevalently in some races than others. It doesn't mean they are racist. It means they have a physical preference... Don't box people who are simply attracted to certain features (even aside from skin tone) into the racist camp. It might be even that they can't articulate why they think a certain race is more attractive to them than another (could be a combination of factors in there). They simply might just know themselves well enough to know what they would like.

There are certain physical features, which are found almost predominantly in certain races, that I am just not attracted to. It doesn't mean I am racist. It's like saying, "Hey, if you just turn every guy with a big beer belly or brown eyes or long arms, (or, or, or) down, you're shallow and ignorant." No, it just means you know what you like.

No one has accused you of being racist or even suggested that anyone with a racial preference is racist, yet you have said multiple times you aren't racist. :-|

[leahmel]

Aug 5, 2012 17:43:47 GMT -5 @tjenbell said:

Aug 5, 2012 15:53:01 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

I agree. I'm open to any race, but my preference is white and Hispanic.

What got me thinking about this question is my preferences when filling out my online dating profile. I've been thinking if I shouldn't put I have a preference so I don't limit myself, but then I might have an influx of ppl I'm not attracted to. Idk.

For some, though, it's not just about skin tone. It might be that they are physically attracted to men with straight long hair, or blue eyes, or brown eyes only, or big lips, or a certain stature -- features found more prevalently in some races than others. It doesn't mean they are racist. It means they have a physical preference... Don't box people who are simply attracted to certain features (even aside from skin tone) into the racist camp. It might be even that they can't articulate why they think a certain race is more attractive to them than another (could be a combination of factors in there). They simply might just know themselves well enough to know what they would like.

There are certain physical features, which are found almost predominantly in certain races, that I am just not attracted to. It doesn't mean I am racist. It's like saying, "Hey, if you just turn every guy with a big beer belly or brown eyes or long arms, (or, or, or) down, you're shallow and ignorant." No, it just means you know what you like.

Right, like I said, I get that people have preferences. I just mean excluding someone off the bat simply because of race is probably doing yourself a disservice. I usually wind up with certain types of guys myself. I tend to go toward tall bald or dark haired white or hispanic men. I have, however, dated other races to see if I like them as well. The guy I am dating now is white as well, but not what I typically would go for looks-wise, so my point is that disqualifying someone off the bat for any reason might not be a smart idea.

[leahmel]

Aug 5, 2012 19:11:31 GMT -5 @tjenbell said:

Aug 5, 2012 19:06:28 GMT -5 leahmel said:

Right, like I said, I get that people have preferences. I just mean excluding someone off the bat simply because of race is probably doing yourself a disservice. I usually wind up with certain types of guys myself. I tend to go toward tall bald or dark haired white or hispanic men. I have, however, dated other races to see if I like them as well. The guy I am dating now is white as well, but not what I typically would go for looks-wise, so my point is that disqualifying someone off the bat for any reason might not be a smart idea.

You're probably right. I am new back to this dating game. As a matter of fact, I literally have been on one very casual date in the last ten years (since I have been married and only recently divorced). I always wonder if it's rude to go out with someone who you know you're not attracted to just to see if something else could be there. I am constantly worried about how it will feel if I have to reject someone. I don't know that I would want someone to go out with me if they didn't at least find me physically attractive in the beginning. But again, I am so new at this, that perhaps I am deluding myself about the size of the potential dating field and who I could be discluding.

Clearly there has to be some attraction. I think that part or most of the equation can come from who they are as a person, and then the attraction comes together as a whole.
You have no obligations after a first date. If you can't see yourself kissing the guy, then you probably aren't feeling it. That's usually my way of weighing things at the end of a date. You'd be surprised what spending time with someone taht you have chemistry with can do for attraction. If you're not attracted, you don't go out with him again... no harm, no foul.

[Deleted]

Aug 5, 2012 16:16:21 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

I think there's alot of hot Middle Eastern guys. I've never date one before.

I like dark hair and a dark complexion.

If you are American and not Muslim like them, I say DON'T DO IT!!!! I speak from my own experience. They maybe hot, but it's not worth it!!! They treat you like a prisoner, like the dirt beneath their feet. Very charming at first...then all hell breaks loose. Yes there are good and bad in all races, but as a general rule Arab men have a VERY different culture and outlook on life than American women do.

[stephbfan]

I am Hispanic and I really have no racial preferences. I have dated Hispanics, of course, had a kid with a white man, have dated black and Asian but I haven't dated middle eastern still.