I feel so rested today; questions/thoughts/opinions?

[meggers5]

Not something for me, but something my mom did. Years ago my brother proposed to his girlfriend. They had 2 kids and no money so there was no ring.

Shortly after my mom gave my brother an old diamond pendant of hers that she never wore, and said they can use that to make a ring for her.

Next time my sil saw my mom she could barely speak, told her there were no words to thank her, cried, and hugged her.

I love my mom.

[W.T.Faulkner]

I always get emotional when I think of everything my parents have done for me. There hasn't been a day in my life in which I've felt they wouldn't move heaven and earth for me when I need it.

[sjh722]

My high school English teacher was extraordinarily kind to me when we were going through a bad family situation; I was a freshman, first month of a new school. I'll never forget it.

If you are full of sage advice, I have two baby name threads going on MMM. The only part I dislike about not knowing the sex is the negotiations for both a boy and girl name.

[zizibet]

I'm glad you feel rested and are having fun with your kids. I'm grateful for the families of my high school friends who took care of my when my parents couldn't.

[Deleted]

My H finally received hi work permit! But he quit the job he had and hasn't worked since mid-November. My family gave us money for Christmas gifts for the kids and to pay daycare for January. He doesn't know English well although he can carry on a conversation and follow simple directions. Since he is finally eligible for a drivers license, he took the test but has failed it twice. Once more and he is mandated to take a drivers Ed class which is fine but I don't know how we will pay for it. And of course he needs a valid drivers license for almost all the jobs he is eligible for. Sigh.

There is so much we need right now I just don't know where to begin.

ETA VALID drivers license, not Bali!
Thoughts?

[Deleted]

I am forever grateful to my BFF's parents who basically took me in during high school and kept me from going down some dark paths when my mom couldn't be there for me.

[thebreakfastclub]

Sometimes I think back to when I went to college. I remember seeing my mom's checkbook and knowing she took her balance down to $7.00 to take me shopping for supplies so I would be ready. I was the only one who never had a dad help move in. It was just the 2 of us lugging all my stuff around. She always made it fun, just the two of us, even though it was kind of sad.

[my3boyz]

I am grateful for the neighbors/church friends that let me rent their basement bedroom my senior year of high school when my parents kicked me out. They only charged me 100.00/ month which is nothing. They were very kind to me and included me in their family Christmas. I'll never forget them.

[nsl]

My ninth grade English teacher took a really personal interest in me and my academic future, and I think without her intervention I would have been a mediocre high school and college student at best. It's something I could thank her for, but she retired from the district and doesn't have a Facebook/contact information I've been able to find online so I've never been able to tell her what an enormous impact she made in my life after I left her class.

Also, my parents sacrificed a lot for years to make sure my sister and I wouldn't have to pay for our college educations. I really took that money for granted at the time, but in the years since I've realized just how huge a gift that was. They also encouraged me to major in something fairly impractical (English, and I wasn't planning to teach) because it was what I loved. That was equally huge.

ETA: @damnation, is it the driving test or the written test that he can't pass?  Is it a skills issue or a language issue? 

[Deleted]

It's the written exam. He takes it in Spanish, so it's not a language thing. It's partly the computer (he is not computer literate) but mostly he does not know the specifics of driving rules/regs. He is going to take it in writing next time in hopes that will help.

[cleo29]

I fear that C is turning into a brat.  Part of her is very Type A, has to be in charge, etch, but part of it is she just doesn't do well with sharing, not winning and over reacts to things. I mean full on crying over very minor things.  I feel like I am failing as her mom and hope this is not something set in stone.

[cinderbella]

I have an amazing friend with an equally amazing husband - I was having a bad day back in 2001. Working my first "real" job while all of my friends were off having fun at college. My mom showed up at my work and asked to borrow $1,000 because she lost it all gambling and was afraid my dad was going to leave her. I gave it to her (off of my very first credit card, no less) and then called my friend and left a voicemail while in tears. Back then, it was pretty advanced but they had their home phone's voicemails forwarded to Stan's cell phone so he immediately got the message. Donna was a teacher and I knew she wasn't home - I just left the message hoping she'd call me later that evening. About 45 minutes later, he showed up at my job just to make sure I was okay. I was shocked. It's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me - I was so sad and lonely with all my friends away.......they invited me over for dinner that night and we hung out and played pool and watched movies.

[UnderProtest]

My mom was amazing when I had my kids. She basically moved in for 5 weeks in order to help us care for the twins. i don't know what I would have done without her. My dad doesn't spend much time by himself so it was a sacrifice for him too. They also were huge helps when we were moving. They helped clean out the house, organize stuff to put the house on the market (including painting), and the kids and I moved in for over 3 weeks while our furniture was delivered. I don't know where I would have gone otherwise.

Advice? Tell me what to do. I feel like I'm in a rut and just dreaming of the future instead of living in the present. I'm having a hard time making decisions and getting motivated.

[aliciaflorrick]

I have been wanting to transition into a new career. I currently work in insurance and would like to sell real estate. I have been wanting to do this for years but the instability makes me anxious. Any suggestions on how to get the courage to go for it?

[kayakjenn]

In 1995 I was going through a very unexpected and emotional divorce. I was 2500 miles from my family and had moved 2 hours away from where I had been living because my exH was living with the GF he had left me for, in my house, with my dog and the town wasn't big enough to avoid the pain.

It was a bad move. A friend and her H offered to let me stay with them but it was awkward from the start. I was an emotional mess, couldn't find a FT job and they really wanted their privacy. I started sleeping in a movie theater during the day and working a PT job nights. Some times I slept in my car, I had a tent I could use at a campground but I always felt a little unsafe, a 27 yr old woman alone. I spent time with a bad man because he'd let me sleep at his apartment.

One day I was on the phone with my sister and fessed up to just how bad it had gotten. She went to work the next day really upset. Her company had been sold the month before and she wasn't close with the new owner but he asked her what was wrong and she told him. In his gruff Long Island accent he asked "can she answer a phone?" My sister explained I had a college degree and experience in customer service and yes, I could answer a phone. He replied "Well, tell her if she comes back here I'll give her a job." And it was that easy. A month later my Dad flew across country and we drove back to NY with my stuff. I pulled into my parents' driveway on a Tuesday and that Thursday went to work for him. I've been there for 19 years! I moved from CS rep to management and have been responsible for 8 million $$ in territory for the last 10 years.

I'm leaving that company in February to go work for another person who sees my potential and is treating me with great kindness. The man that was kind enough to give me that initial job is still my friend, even though he was forced out of the company years ago. I owe him so much!

[cats]

Jan 2, 2015 15:37:25 GMT -5 kayakjenn said:

Amazing story here    

Wow.  I'm so sorry for what you experienced, but wow!  What a story!  I can't even come up with the words to describe how in awe I am of your resilience and of your sister's boss's kindness and willingness to help.


Wow.  

[circa1978]

That is the sweetest story, Lucy.

My birth father died near enough to my 21st birthday that the service was held (by his family) the day after. I hadn't seen him - or them - for almost 10 years. One of my best friends drove across half the country to our college town so she could drive home with me for the service and pet my head while I sobbed like an idiot in front of people I barely knew for a total asshole. I love her forever. She is one of the most loyal and caring people I know.

[renna]

Jan 2, 2015 13:03:44 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I remembered our neighbor lady who came over and brought food for us, when we three kids were at home alone, mom had died, and dad was working weeks out of town; she was so kind. 
What's something someone did for you like this? something you can't repay. 

So many, many people have been so kind to me and my family in my lifetime. I try to pay it forward in honor of all of them.

Years ago when I was single my friend who used to live in Europe was going back for a short visit and taking her mother, too, and asked me to go with them. I didn't have the money to go so I said no, but thanks for asking. Her mother (may she rest in peace) thought it wouldn't be any fun for her daughter without a friend so her mother offered to pay for my ticket. Again, profuse thank yous, but a polite no. Her mother absolutely INSISTED that I should go with them and the tickets were cheap (compared to now prices) and she was not taking no for an answer.

Again, I was pretty broke at that time, and a family that I knew from church found out I was going to Europe on this short trip. The parents pulled me aside one Sunday and gave me an envelope with $100 in it.  I wasn't going to need much since we'd be staying free with my friend's European friends but still, I had about $40 I could plan to bring and that was ALL I could spare at that time (car insurance just paid, had just had my car fixed...again). I just could not believe that 1) my friend's mom would want me to go and would buy my ticket, and that 2) this lovely family would give me some cash so I had some spending money.

My friend's mom died a few years ago and my friend gave the eulogy and mentioned this very trip and how much fun it was for her mother and for us. It truly was a privilege to know this woman. She was such a sweet soul, and that family, too, they are absolute gems.

[circa1978]

Oh, and a question: Henry got a great toy from his aunt for Christmas but we think it is defective. Is it wrong to ask for a receipt so we can exchange, or should we just let it break for good and toss it?

[aliciaflorrick]

Jan 2, 2015 18:24:23 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Jan 2, 2015 15:35:59 GMT -5 aliciaflorrick said:

I have been wanting to transition into a new career. I currently work in insurance and would like to sell real estate. I have been wanting to do this for years but the instability makes me anxious. Any suggestions on how to get the courage to go for it?

well, take some classes in real estate, first off. What is it that attracts you to the business, anyway? Do you have any experience in it?

And the only way to get the nerve to do something is to just do it. I can't tell you not to be afraid, that's natural. But you can  function in fear; that's courage. Get moving~life's short. 

I am definitely planning on taking classes. I had taken the classes 10 years ago but had recently moved to the area and wasnt familiar enough with area to make a go of it.

I don't have experience but I find it is something that consistently interests/excites me. I like analyzing whether listings are priced appropriately based on comps. I also love the idea of finding a home that meets the particular needs of the client. Something about being a part of a new chapter in their life is pretty cool.

Thanks for the kick in the pants!

[circa1978]

Thanks! It is a VTech Stencil & Learn Studio. He is learning to write and working on his fine motor,so it was a great choice, but the first time he used it, it started getting all these seemingly permanent black marks on it. It had only been a week, and now it is covered. I sit with him and he isn't rough with it, and it has tons of good reviews, so I think ours is just not right.

[renna]

Sue Sue, how is your brother doing with his health issues lately? Any improvements for the better?

[indianchica]

Jan 2, 2015 13:56:06 GMT -5 nsl said:

My ninth grade English teacher took a really personal interest in me and my academic future, and I think without her intervention I would have been a mediocre high school and college student at best. It's something I could thank her for, but she retired from the district and doesn't have a Facebook/contact information I've been able to find online so I've never been able to tell her what an enormous impact she made in my life after I left her class.

The same was true for my 7th grade science teacher. I didn't even remember how to spell his complicated name. I emailed the school, gave my attendance year and the sound of his name and they sent me his contact info within an hour. I wrote him and he wrote me back with 24 hrs. I'd say it's worth a shot.

[nsl]

Jan 2, 2015 18:52:36 GMT -5 indianchica said:

Jan 2, 2015 13:56:06 GMT -5 nsl said:

My ninth grade English teacher took a really personal interest in me and my academic future, and I think without her intervention I would have been a mediocre high school and college student at best. It's something I could thank her for, but she retired from the district and doesn't have a Facebook/contact information I've been able to find online so I've never been able to tell her what an enormous impact she made in my life after I left her class.

The same was true for my 7th grade science teacher. I didn't even remember how to spell his complicated name. I emailed the school, gave my attendance year and the sound of his name and they sent me his contact info within an hour. I wrote him and he wrote me back with 24 hrs. I'd say it's worth a shot.

That's a brilliant idea!  I'm going to do this Monday; thank you!

[Balki.Bartokomous]

Jan 2, 2015 15:10:15 GMT -5 @damnation said:

It's the written exam. He takes it in Spanish, so it's not a language thing. It's partly the computer (he is not computer literate) but mostly he does not know the specifics of driving rules/regs. He is going to take it in writing next time in hopes that will help.

It sounds like he needs to study more and/or get help studying. I bet if you took him to the local literacy council they'd have Spanish language documents to help. When I taught ESL we focused a lot on practical lessons like this & people were pretty willing to help with stuff like this.

[CurlyQ284]

My grandparents (maternal). When I was born they put money into a CD and by the time I was 18 it was enough to cover college tuition and room and board for all 4 years. My dad wasn't a great dad (parents still married though). We spent summers with my grandparents and my grandfather was the best substitute I can imagine. He never ever yelled or raised his voice. He was always playing jokes and playing piano and telling us to check the freezer with a wink (he was a chocoholic so there were 4 flavors of ice cream at all times with fixings). We would make sundaes all the time with different flavors. They had a pontoon boat and lived on a river so some afternoons were spent on the boat and he let us drive it. He was literally the best person I have known and I feel lucky to have had him in my life. It makes me sad that my kids don't have a grandfather like him but they have a good dad so I guess it all evens out in the end.

Another one isn't a grand gesture like some of these but DHs ex-MIL just knitted me this amazing blanket for Christmas with lots of details and designs in it. It must have taken her forever and she sent a note that said I was much appreciated. She knitted a blanket for DSs birthday and he sleeps with it every night. She adores him. She lists me as family on her facebook and tells us it's been too long since we visit and she wants to see DS. She had us for dinner and I didn't know the entire extended family would be there and everyone was so freaking nice. It got awkward when DHs ex showed up though. I'm just amazed. This woman doesnt have to speak to me or like me at all but she treats me like family. She really likes DH too.

[happyholiday]

When I had DS1, DH deployed 10 days later. I had horrible PPD. My best friend basically moved in with me for several weeks and got up every night with the baby. She saved me. I can never, ever repay this, but I will try for the rest of my life.

[Balki.Bartokomous]

These are all great stories.

My story is about how nice people were to my sister when she had trouble in high school. She has special needs & was being bullied by this idiot who lived down the street from us, to the point of having a breakdown. I had gone off to college by then, so there was nothing I could do, but some of my friends, a few random students & teachers pitched in to help my sister, walking her from class to class, taking care of her on the bus, walking her home & generally just making sure she was safe from this asshole. It was really great to see how people supported her & I can never repay them for that.

@cse1960 I need advice. At what point do you know it's time for a new job? And if I were to take a new job & then get pg shortly after, just how horrible would that be? I've been working hard for the past few years but my company is only getting more stressful, so I'm pretty over it. But bonuses aren't paid until the beginning of March & we're TTC. I am thinking I'll put feelers out, negotiate a signing bonus equivalent to my March bonus & just deal w/the pg thing if/when it becomes an issue. I should just go with the flow, right?

[circa1978]

Jan 2, 2015 19:38:56 GMT -5 luckydog said:

Jan 2, 2015 18:42:21 GMT -5 circa1978 said:

Thanks! It is a VTech Stencil & Learn Studio. He is learning to write and working on his fine motor,so it was a great choice, but the first time he used it, it started getting all these seemingly permanent black marks on it. It had only been a week, and now it is covered. I sit with him and he isn't rough with it, and it has tons of good reviews, so I think ours is just not right.

Or maybe they can exchange it. 

That would be best but they live in a different state. 

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2015 18:26:21 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

Jan 2, 2015 13:38:19 GMT -5 @damnation said:

My H finally received hi work permit! But he quit the job he had and hasn't worked since mid-November. My family gave us money for Christmas gifts for the kids and to pay daycare for January. He doesn't know English well although he can carry on a conversation and follow simple directions. Since he is finally eligible for a drivers license, he took the test but has failed it twice. Once more and he is mandated to take a drivers Ed class which is fine but I don't know how we will pay for it. And of course he needs a valid drivers license for almost all the jobs he is eligible for. Sigh.

There is so much we need right now I just don't know where to begin.

ETA VALID drivers license, not Bali!
Thoughts?

why did he quit his job, and is he actively looking? I am so sorry you are in this spot. Will he watch the children, so you don't have day care expenses? 

I'm thinking. 

After 3 years of seriously being taken advantage of by his boss, I think DH just couldn't take it anymore. His boss was so degrading and totally knew he had H by the balls because he was undocumented. Among many other shady business practices, the dude was making H a property manager instead of just a maintenance and renovations guy and H was being put in increasingly dangerous situations.

No, he is not actively looking.