Oh look! I actually have a money question!

[Deleted]

NO

NO

NO

[Deleted]

To me, no, not worth an hour each way. That's a lot of time in a car rather than with the family. The money would not change your life positively enough to balance out the negative of time lost. Plus the expense (gas, wear, tear) would take some of that away.

[arch01]

Hm. It honestly depends on the hours and what roads he'd be taking. If he'd be coming home anywhere between 4 and 7pm, that commute is going to be one hell of a lot longer than an hour. It takes me 45 min to get home if I leave past 430 coming from just north of the airport exit no matter what way I go.

I'd probably say no.

[Deleted]

My H had an hour long commute when we were first married and it was soul sucking. He was MISERABLE. And this was before we had kids and I would have been stuck at home without his help 2 extra hours a day.

We pay OUT. THE. NOSE. for him to have a 15/20 minute commute here in LA and it is worth every single penny.

[redpenmama]

If the $20K would not have a substantial impact on your lifestyle/budget, then no. $20K would make a big difference for us, so we would probably entertain the idea, but H already commutes 35 minutes, so the hour commute is slightly less daunting.

[Deleted]

Is the commute by car or public transportation?

I don't think 20k is enough if you're comfortable where you are, but an hour commute by train, subway or bus isn't that horrible because you can actually be productive and send emails, pay bills, make phone calls, etc.

[Deleted]

Not a chance.

What your husband should do is interview and use the 120k job for leverage.

xoxo, 

sneaky HR person

[shellbear09]

No I don't think it is worth it. A long commute sucks so much for me.

[h]

Not in my book.

[orval]

I think you are in Charlotte. My husband works in Ballantyne and we live in north Charlotte. Without traffic it takes abut 35 minutes to get to his office. With traffic it is usually 45 - 1 hour. Sometimes when traffic sucks, it is even longer.
I think it depends on your family. If he is working late, traffic is better, but then he still won't be home at a decent time. I have had to drastically cut back my work since I had a kid, to be able to accommodate his commute and not have to hire a babysitter at random times.
Anyway, if there is a choice, I vote for less $ and short commute.

[anna7602]

The way this board easily dismisses $20K is making me feel a little better about continuing to look for a nanny over going with an in-home DCP.

But to answer your question, no, it wouldn't be worth it to me. I WAH and really value not having to commute at all.

[AmyRI]

I'd consider an hour commute for a job I absolutely loved that required only a 40 hour week. I have a 45 minute commute now and don't enjoy it, but it's manageable. I'd add another 15 minutes to do something I love. But only he can answer whether or not it's worth it to him.

[Mushe]

Oof. An hour. Each way? It wouldn't be worth it to me, unless his current commute was already relatively long.

[madringal]

I say maybe, depends on where you are traveling into. For me, I can travel one hour west and go into Chicago and traffic, weather, and construction would make the commute a nightmare and totally not worth 20K. Parking would be very expensive.

Or I could travel an hour east into South Bend and it would be totally manageable. DH did it (well 50 minutes) for 10 years, and it was never an issue.

[Yankees21]

Since it sounds like you are comfortable with your lifestyle now, it absolutely wouldn't be worth it to me. I place a really high value on work-life balance, though.

[cinco]

Jan 6, 2015 12:09:52 GMT -5 redpenmama said:

If the $20K would not have a substantial impact on your lifestyle/budget, then no. $20K would make a big difference for us, so we would probably entertain the idea, but H already commutes 35 minutes, so the hour commute is slightly less daunting.

This is true for us too, except DH's commute is 45 minutes. He also works 12-10 or similar off hours, so rush hour is not an issue. I hated my commute back in the day, but I was sitting in traffic the whole time.

[whereintheworld]

Absolutely not. My H has a 1.5 hour commute each way 2x a week and we all hate it so so much. The quality of life is not worth the $20K more and it doesn't sound like you really "need" the extra $.

[Deleted]

Not in the circumstances you described. Dream job? Maybe. My father had a long commute growing up and it sucked he always missed dinner.

[Deleted]

Jan 6, 2015 12:14:14 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

The way this board easily dismisses $20K is making me feel a little better about continuing to look for a nanny over going with an in-home DCP.

But to answer your question, no, it wouldn't be worth it to me. I WAH and really value not having to commute at all.

The thing is $120K over $100K just isn't a huge deal (especially once you factor in taxes, car costs, and time).

$40K over $20K is a huge deal. $60K over $40K is probably still a huge deal. Even $80K over $60K might be. It just isn't that life changing at some point.

You have to look at the proportions and the value of your time. You can't always give up time for money, or you just run out of time.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Jan 6, 2015 12:16:44 GMT -5 AmyRI said:

I'd consider an hour commute for a job I absolutely loved that required only a 40 hour week. I have a 45 minute commute now and don't enjoy it, but it's manageable. I'd add another 15 minutes to do something I love. But only he can answer whether or not it's worth it to him.

this .. my firm has a 35 hr work week (optional up to 40) and a hr15m reverse commute. when I took it, it was worth the bump in 15k salary.

[azurely]

It wouldn't be worth it for me, especially since you don't need the extra money.

[ktw]

From personal experience, I say no, not worth it. My DH took a new job effective 7/1/13 which almost doubled his salary, but came with a 90 minute each way commute, and I'm not even sure that was worth it. The year he commuted was so stressful, he got sick a bunch of times from being exhausted and stressed, I was always alone with our newborn, etc... We moved in October to get him down to a 30 minute commute, and it has been a dream, despite the fact that we now own two houses (renting the old one), and are over an hour away from our families. We totally underestimated how much the commute would wear on us.

[runblondie26]

I don' think I've ever had a commute under an hour.

If the bonus is expected to significant, I'd take the job. For an extra 20K vs. your time, that's a tougher call.

[CrazyLucky]

If I needed the money to get by, then yes. otherwise NO NO NO NO NO. We have a 45 minute commute, and everything always feels so rushed.

[djc315]

Jan 6, 2015 12:26:19 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

Jan 6, 2015 12:14:14 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

The way this board easily dismisses $20K is making me feel a little better about continuing to look for a nanny over going with an in-home DCP.

But to answer your question, no, it wouldn't be worth it to me. I WAH and really value not having to commute at all.

The thing is $120K over $100K just isn't a huge deal (especially once you factor in taxes, car costs, and time).

$40K over $20K is a huge deal. $60K over $40K is probably still a huge deal. Even $80K over $60K might be. It just isn't that life changing at some point.

You have to look at the proportions and the value of your time. You can't always give up time for money, or you just run out of time.

This is what I was going to say.  I looked at it by percentage.  

Don't get me wrong - 20% is still a big deal, but it's much less so than a 200% raise ($20k to $40k).

So, in conclusion, no, I wouldn't have an hour commute for a 20% raise.

[Velar Fricative]

I am the Queen of Long Commutes and for the likely net amount he'd get with that $20K raise, I'd say no. But I've only ready the OP so let me keep reading in case there is additional information that might sway me.

[Velar Fricative]

Hmmmmm, the bonus might sway me depending on what it could be.

But I agree that if you're comfortable financially, it's fine to turn the opportunity down. If you told us you were swimming in debt and about to file for bankruptcy or something, I'd be all "WTF are you thinking of course he should take the job!!!!!!!!!!!"

[pinotgrig]

Nope. Not worth it.

That $20k is before taxes and the gas, wear on your car, and time would eat up the rest if I were you.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Jan 6, 2015 12:31:33 GMT -5 runblondie26 said:

I don' think I've ever had a commute under an hour.

this .. in my entire working life my commute has always pushed an hr at a minimum.

[Deleted]

Jan 6, 2015 12:12:54 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

Jan 6, 2015 12:10:37 GMT -5 @republicrat said:

Not a chance.

What your husband should do is interview and use the 120k job for leverage.

xoxo, 

sneaky HR person

Fuck yes.  Thanks for this.

He doesn't even need another offer to negotiate. Has he countered yet? I would ask for slightly more and hope to end up at 110-120 to close the gap. Good luck!