Would you buy your ILs house?

[hamster]

It's been presented to us an option and we've always dismissed it on the past. The offer is still on the table, and we realized today it really is everything we are looking for. Good location, nice property, doesn't need much work, etc. And the price would be on the lower end of our budget.

Part of my concern is that I wouldnt ever feel like it was mine. I'd quickly get over that, right?

I'm mostly rambling here, I know.

[polarbearfans]

It could be a nice arrangement if your inlaws won't be offended if you make changes. Like can they let go that it isn't their house anymore?

[ECB]

If it were truly the right house on all other points, yes, I would. BUT I'd need to know that my ILs could let go. Meaning - my furniture, my decorations, my design. Are they going to flip out when the come over and see the changes?

My ILs have a LOT of African art on their walls. And FIL likes white walls. If we bought their house, I know they'd be like "Oh- you can keep the art!", which, while nice, isn't memorable to DH and I (ILs lived in Africa for a # of years and collected it while there). I wouldn't want a house totally decorated in it. AND I'd want to paint. Would FIl be bugged by that?

THis is the kind of stuff I would try to feel out and make sure they aren't going to be upset by changes you make.

[zarapipe]

If you could see yourself in it as your home than yes. I wouldn't just because it's NMS and I could never see it as anything other than the IL's home.

[gt7301b]

Fuck no!

[krystee]

If they are normal people with good boundaries and if you would buy the house whether it was being sold by them or a stranger (meaning you like the house and are not doing it out of obligation), then yes.

We might buy my parents' house next year.

[hamster]

Jan 10, 2015 15:56:45 GMT -5 @songforyou said:

Would you have the same hesitation if it was your parents' house?

Good question, but, no, probably not. Because I already view it as my house since I grew up there. Perhaps that's my subconscious issue as this is where H grew up.

I suspect FIL just wants to see it stay in the family and he knows we would take good care of it. MIL can get over any buttburt feelings she'd have. H has already said we'd have to do some things to it. It's in good shape but she's done some funky stuff to it decorating wise over the years.

[genet313]

I could not but I really don't like my ILs house.   

My parents house I could live in b/c not only do I like the style but it's "home" to me.  But I honestly don't think my dad could watch me change "his" house, and that would prevent us from ever buying it.   And thinking of buying it after they are dead is too sad.   

[LoveTrains]

YEs, I would. I would also seriously consider living there after my ILs pass.

[cjeanette]

I wouldn't because their house is a split which I don't care for.

[thatgirl2478]

MY IL's house?  NO.  HELL NO.

They've lived there for a LONG time and have smoked so much in the house that it's yellow.  It's also built on 'old timbers' (supposedly they never straightened the tree trunks) so the whole damn place slants. FIL has messed around with the house so much that I don't trust most of the systems, plus it's tiny and has an awkward layout.

I would *almost* buy my parents house though.  They need a new roof and seem to be having slight foundation issues and the EPA is *this* close to making everyone in town hook up to a new tile field for their septic tanks.  But, it's better laid out and has actual historic value.  Plus it's bigger and in a better location.

[hamster]

It also has an above ground pool, if that matters any, lol.

H and I are going to try and go out there when the ILs aren't around so we can really walk the property and talk it through.

[Deleted]

Wyatt would love the pool! (HA!)

I would, if it were a home/ location I liked, and they were going to be okay with my making big changes if we wanted.

[magdala]

My in laws house needs so much work that I would never touch it. Of course, they haven't updated/renovated since the 60s. They have always done their maintenance on the cheap so I feel bad for whoever does buy it. Does this house need any work?

[hamster]

Jan 10, 2015 16:18:03 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

Wyatt would love the pool! (HA!)

I would, if it were a home/ location I liked, and they were going to be okay with my making big changes if we wanted.

He does love the pool! Last summer he jumped in with the cover on, lol.

To pp, the house needs some cosmetic updating, but less than many others we have looked at.

[wavepool]

If we could afford fils house, absolutely. Love the house and he'd have no issues with knowing it was ours now. No way on mils house. She smokes inside and would insist on keeping her decor.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using proboards

[WOT?*]

My ILs I would say yes. We are already talking about buying out the steps for their half of the ownership when they pass. The will (as we know it) gives him half and his step-siblings equal shares of the other half. It's in a nice area of Florida, which has reasonable retirement taxes, not too far from the beach (though we're not beach bunnies) and near enough to Orlando that I can get some shopping in and we can take grands and greats to the parks and other touristy places. And it's not the house he grew up in so there is no sentiment attached to it; it's their post-retirement home which is the same purpose we would use it for.

My mom? Probably not. She's in a condo in NV that *she* doesn't even like.

My dad is deceased but I would have kept his place only as a rental property. I could never live in the dumpy town in the middle of nowhere where my poor brother grew up (though it was great for him since it was a large property and he had calves and birds and rabbits and all sorts of agricultural stuff and he's into that stuff.)

[spindle92]

It would totally depend on family dynamics.

My bff bought her grandmother's 100 yr old house. Her father and 10 aunts and uncles were raised in that house. She (my bff) was nervous at first that all the family members would be up in arms over any little change she made but they have been great and stay the hell out of her home renovation decisions.

Now my exh. HAHAHAHA. After we got divorced, he decided to rent out our marital home and buy his father's house so he (his father) could move into a retirement community. From what I hear thru the grapevine, the father thru a hissy fit about even moving the china hutch in a different location of the house. I guess before the papers were signed, all was fine but once the papers were signed he then changed his tune and demanded all these things stay the same.

[Deleted]

If you like the house anyway and you don't think the ILs will hold onto the 'it's our house' feelings then yes. I bought my grandmother's house when she passed away. I was worried it wouldn't feel like 'my' house but it is amazing what a couple cans of paint can do. It doesn't even feel like the same house anymore and sometimes I forget it was hers.

[londoncalling]

I bought my parents home. We've made some major and minor renovations. My dad doesn't care. My mom's reactions range from "oh....that's nice" to "I should have done that 25 years ago!"

DH has been more objective with the changes than I have been.

Also, we don't have any hard feelings in our direction when we discover things like the roof wasn't vented well enough and needed to be replaced sooner than expected. Those kind of things come up with any home. We don't hold it against my parents. It has been helpful to be able to have someone to ask about the history of something in the home, variances, etc. as they come up.

[Susie]

We couldn't no matter what, because it's not in our county, and Calvin's job has a county residency requirement.

If that were off the table, we still probably wouldn't, because it's not exactly what I'd want, size and layout-wise. But if it were, I wouldn't discount it as a possibility just because of the family thing. I'd probably be ok with it under a few conditions: ILs were going to sell it anyway to someone, i.e., they were ready to part with it; we had it professionally appraised to set the price; we took ownership unfurnished; etc.

[UnderProtest]

Hell no. But that's mainly because then I would be living in the same town as all my husband's crazy family. I prefer them to be an ocean away.

[Deleted]

My sister and I bought the house we grew up in from my parents when they retired/move. Thanks to prop 13 (california - parent/child transfer)we pay the same property taxes my parents did - they bought the house in the early 80's so this was a HUGE benefit. We paid market minus realtor fees.

We did some work on it (paint, hardwood floors,'etc) and it feels nothing like the house I grew up in.

[niq]

ILs have talked about subdividing their lot, not to sell to us necessarily.

If they did that, the house would lose the view. The schools aren't quite as good, it's not in a walkable neighborhood, given our jobs it would mean driving it just being miserable on the bus, and we couldn't really afford it unless it wasn't an arm's length transaction.

So, I guess not.

[lilac05]

No. First, it's in an area I'd never want to live, so I wouldn't even consider it.

Also, my FIL would ALWAYS be on our case about whether or not we were doing maintenance to HIS standards (which are completely unrealistic and a waste of time, energy, and money). Neither one would like it if we changed anything about it. It would just be a nightmare.

[Nonny]

No, largely due to location, but other reasons as well.

MIL's house is rental in BFE, and only has one bathroom.

FIL (before he passed away) also lived in BFE, in a run down single wide with a shanty attachment and a scary bathroom.

My own parents' house is OK (and my childhood home), but you'll have to drag me kicking and screaming to move back to my home town. I expect that when my parents pass away my sister might want to purchase it and hang onto it, but I don't know that she'll actually be able to afford it. If I were to live there I'd get rid of at least 50% of the furniture and crap my packrat mom has stuck all over the place. I think my sister will keep 90% of it, and then include all of her own stuff too.

[Deleted]

In your situation, probably. We bought DH's grandparents' house when we were first married and lived there for 8 years. The only problem that we had was that DH's grandma was a little sensitive about changes. We would paint something, remove a tree that was planted over the water line, etc. and she would make comments like "Oh, was there something wrong with the color?" or "You really took out a lot of the nice things we did in the yard". We didn't see them often so it wasn't too much of an annoyance and your ILs might be less sensitive.

In my own life, no.  Their house is nice but not in an area that I want to lice in, bad schools, and I would want another bathroom.

[hamster]

I do think, and H agrees, MIL will be sensitive but...tough. And mostly it would stem from any changes she made to her recent "improvements." It will be clear from the outset that it is our house now, not hers. Its certainly a drawback but I think we had an epiphany today that the positives outweigh the negatives.

[irene adler]

We strongly considered it, but then SIL got pregnant and the il's were not able to retire as planned.

My biggest concern was not the ILs but the fact that dh had grown up there and would want things where they always had been (glasses in a certain cabinet, etc. ). I ultimately think it would not have been a big deal, but I tend not to have strong opinions about things like that.  

If if you are able to draw a clear boundary and stand firm, this sounds like it would be an ideal situation.  

BUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE CHICKENS?!?  

[hbomdiggity]

No, but it's not in an area I'd want to live in and it's literally a shithole. I HATE visiting. They have a 10 yo dog that they never house trained and I'll leave it at that.